Be kind to your Self
You only get
Are You A Wounded Soldier of Love?
THIRST, AND THE MARTYR, was a 2011 poignant street performance by J.J. McCracken. In the performance statement (read here), McCracken explains: "The Martyr is at once a hoarder and a provider. (S)he may be viewed as opposing sides of the same character, at war with each other, or as two individuals at odds, refusing compromise and unable to work together. [...] Hope is challenged but not fully extinguished as the struggle drones on."
Do you struggle with a constant need to people-please?
Find yourself resenting the people you support or work for, day in and day out?
Or perhaps you are compelled by a pressing desire to feel needed, and be the hero, because that's what you're known for, and you feel it gives life meaning?
It's one thing to be kind, considerate, or even courageous for others. It becomes an Addiction, however, when you develop a "thirst" for others' approval.
The picture above spoke to me and reminded me of the beautiful but broken Giver in us all - blindfolded by Love and driven by the thirst, the Giver searches for more and more to Give, while carrying the ever-increasing weight of resentment like those gourds in the picture.
You can tell if you're addicted if you are making these two mistakes, over and over:
- You just can't say no, and
- You feel a rush as you say yes, but drained after you give (your time, money, attention), because secretly, you fell as if you are giving it all away...
Why do you feel drained? This is happening because you don't honor your boundaries.
The little voice inside always says "No, I can't" or "No, I don't wanna this time" or "I really just need to rest / finish what I was doing" and you've trained yourself to stop listening to it, to keep up appearances.
Know this: The right people will respect your boundaries, if you respect them first. #BK2YS
The first step in healing your martyrdom addiction is that you have to admit this to yourself first: You don't always have to save the day. It's OK to say "No" or "I can't this time."
If you learn to protect and honor your own energy cycles - knowing clearly when you can give, and when you can't and need rest or focus time - then you can give support and love in a sustainable, healthy way.
As a bonus, this builds a space in your heart to receive the same level of Love and care you give - first from yourself, and then from others.
In Love and Light,
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