Wish you could speak up for yourself in difficult situations?

Constantly trying to make everyone else happy while you're drained and exhausted?

Worried that if you aren't "nice" enough that people won't accept you as you are?

Being able to resolve conflicts is an important skill in life.

However there's a fine line between being helpful and being a people-pleaser -- and we often tend to blur that line.

Watch this week's 6-minute Love Letter video to find out if you're being "too nice" and what you can do about it!

"How can I tell if I'm being 'too nice?'"

This week, Source wants to ask you: Are you being too nice?

This a rhetorical question by the way! It's more to raise your awareness around the fact that you are being too nice.

Let's just cut to the chase. Recently, maybe you've been feeling some of the following scenarios:

• • You want to speak up in a certain situation and you just don't because you want to "play nice,"  "keep the peace" or make sure everyone feels okay.

• • There's something that you want, but because you want someone else, or everyone else, to feel comfortable and have what they want or because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, you keep it to yourself or hide it.

• Or better yet, you don't freely express what you want in general, so when people innocently ask what you want because they want to support you, you've been holding back expressing what you want for so long that you don't even know what you want, and so you just draw a blank.

When someone you care about asks, "What do you want?" or "Where do you want to eat tonight?" or "What would you like to do?" for example, you shut down.

Perhaps we were raised or socialized to "politely" shut down like this, or perhaps you just decided at some point to believe that when you're a nice person, you make concessions and let others go ahead and make the decisions, always.

It could be under the guise of having a servant's heart.

It could be under the guise of being gentle, compassionate, giving, loving, even.

But here's the thing: what matters most is how you feel.

Know this: You can tell if you're being too #nice according to how you feel. #motivation #feelings @senseiwhitfield

How do making concessions and being indecisive feel?

How does hiding your true wants and desires feel?

How does holding back like this feel?

Source is saying you're hiding your anger.

Here's the thing: hiding your true feelings to be "polite" is only hiding from yourself, and that's a sure-fire recipe for anger and resentment.

When you want to be a good person, that doesn't necessarily mean that your blood should be boiling in the background all the time, putting on a nice front in order to make others feel comfortable and more safe in your presence.

That is inauthentic and moreover a symptom of being ungrounded.

It's about becoming aware of the difference between:

Not knowing what you want because you're hiding it from yourself, and by extension hiding it from others and appearing politely indecisive

versus

Knowing what you want and how you feel, and having the communication skills and courage to be truthful and meet others halfway

They're completely different arenas, completely different emotional experiences.

Especially when we're sensitive, empathic, intuitive beings, we tend to take on others' emotions. And we absorb the energies of environments and that will even more push us to want to be extra nice.

Because if we can only contribute positive energy and only appease (read: people-please) others, then that will create a comfortable exterior environment which then, once that happens, then we can on the interior feel comfortable.

So, as empaths we're unfortunately used to being defined by our circumstance.

That's a serious problem, because this complex issue of being "too nice" sets you up for Enabling codependency, disempowerment, self-sabotage and living a very small, confused life.

So Source in the energy, She is simply asking for you to notice if you are being too nice at all this week.

She wants you to notice if you are losing your point of view and your identity in order to appease others.

This week in particular -- you clicked on this video blog now, so you need to be vigilant this week in particular.

I'm not talking about all the time, but Source says something's going on this week where you're going to need to be extra vigilant.

And I'm hearing the Oracle Cards calling. It's the Indigo Angel Oracle Cards deck.

Let's ask the angels, "what do we need to know right now about possibly being too nice? Could we be being too nice?"

Archangel Michael.

Archangel Michael comes forward with his fiery sword.

If you notice, that's his back on the card. The message is: he's got your back.

 

 

This week's oracle card is "Archangel Michael" with a message that he's got your back. Are you afraid to be bold and stand up for what you believe in? Full reading on YouTube at https://youtu.be/rsDkYwuB--k ????????????????✨ #motivation #motivationmonday #instadaily #confidence #strength #selflove #healthy #letsgo #healing #angel #oraclecards #youtube

A photo posted by Sensei Victoria Whitfield (@senseiwhitfield) on May 9, 2016 at 3:51am PDT

Sometimes we can be overly nice in people-pleasing as a protection and a coping mechanism.

Don't sacrifice your personality, your preferences, your desires, to simply fit in or appease others.

Your point of view is worthy. YOU are worthy.

Send me an email back, comment below, tell me what's coming up for you around if you're being too nice or being curious about it.

If you want to ask me about a situation, I always respond. Let me know, and I'm happy to mastermind with you through this situation, okay?

Subscribe on YouTube so you get your love letter every week.

Until next time, don't be too nice. 😉 

See you next week. Bye!

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Stop being "nice" at the expense of your integrity and inner truth. 

Want spiritual support on your healing journey but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Are You Too Nice? appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Struggling to stay focused on your new health routine?

Need help getting motivated to exercise or to break an old habit?

Wish there was some way to "program" yourself for success?

Unfortunately, it's common knowledge that willpower alone won't get you far.

However, there are thousands of "mind hacks" or techniques for behavior modification that the pros use to improve performance and productivity.

Watch this week's 8-minute Love Letter to learn one mind hack that can supercharge your focus and motivation!

"How can I manage my stress throughout the day?"

This week Source has said one word to me for what you need to know; it's another holistic stress management technique: anchoring.

You need mental "anchors" this week.

When we are practicing anchoring, what that basically means is that we are using some aspect of your physical experience to represent and reinforce a certain emotion, energy or intention.

It is a physical, concrete representative of an abstract mental, emotional concept.

This is what anchoring is: symbolic representation.

The way that we use anchoring, especially for holistic stress management and cultivating a relationship with our natural intuition, is strategically.

When we are anchoring for stress relief, for example, we could strategically place something in the physical environment like an object that represents relaxation, calming down or a safe place.

Also, we can strategically do a physical action such as wiping of our own arms or holding one of our fingers -- this physical action for ourselves serves to anchor the concept of being stress-free, relaxing and feeling clear.

In this week's video I show how there are some examples in The Dojo of environmental anchoring; in fact, The Dojo is overflowing with environmental stress relief, release, and healing anchors.

For example, there is a piece of art that was from our previous Dojo that says "Keep Calm Carry On." I'm sure you recall from earlier Love Letters where I was standing, and it was to the left of my face.

That art piece is a visual anchor, not only to remind me to literally relax and continue forward and to give me "emotional lubrication" by thinking about that phrase, but it has a deeper meaning for me personally now because this came from the original Dojo, the very first one, and will be at every subsequent incarnation thereof.

I surrounded it with butterflies, little gold metal butterflies that have shamanic significance for "transformation." That was to commemorate, and celebrate moving here and being at another, higher vibration.

And so that is an example of a physical environmental anchor of meaning for me personally in the space; it keeps me focused on continuing to improve, while not forgetting where I came from.

Know this: The thing about #anchoring is it shifts your #perspective to being more open and calmer. @senseiwhitfield

What in your environment -- your work environment in particular -- is an anchor of positive energy for you?

Is it a picture of your family? Or maybe you have a crystal that's on your desk at work that represents positive energy.

Having visual, physical, concrete representatives of positive energy is so powerful that you simply have to catch it out the corner of your eye for it to positively shift your state.

Or while you're at your desk you could touch it, or have it be in your space and immediately, it shifts your emotional vibration on a very deep, steady level.

What will you put in your environment at work to anchor positive energy?

Additionally, physical action on your own body can be a form of physical anchoring that you practice for behavioral repatterning. An example of this is holding your pointer finger, which has to do with "releasing fear."

This simple physical anchoring technique comes from an alternative therapy tradition called "Jin Shin Jyutsu," by the way.

You could be talking to someone and holding your pointer finger covertly to build confidence. No one would have any idea that you are really soothing yourself.

But the power is in the fact that this physical activity it has a meaning internally for you to anchor and ground you.

Other forms of anchoring could be wearing power pieces of jewelry, or that watch, bracelet or sweater that really help you feel safe and calmer.

By wearing things that are significant to you, your body remembers to ground and your mindset defaults to feeling focused and empowered.

So, this week in particular, Source wants you to practice and play with anchoring.

This week's oracle card comes from Earth Magic by Steve D. Farmer, a shamanic deck. It's all about earth energy and really connecting to being grounded by practicing anchoring.

As I shuffle, I ask: "Angels, elementals, what do we need to know right n--"

I didn't even get to finish the question.

Perspective: The Milky Way

 

 

This week's #oracle card is "Milky Way: Perspective" and the message is to shift your #perspective by focusing on the bigger picture rather than sweating the details. Want to know how to do that consistently? Watch on #YouTube to find out: https://youtu.be/G6u6Z3xGSug ???????? #success #motivation #motivationmonday #focus #healthy #reiki #change

A photo posted by Sensei Victoria Whitfield (@senseiwhitfield) on May 2, 2016 at 4:37am PDT

This is exactly why you want to practice anchoring this week:you're going to be called upon to see things from a different perspective, and anchoring can really help you stay open to seeing different sides to the story, different solutions.

Comment below, send me an email back. Let me know what's coming up for you.

What anchors did you put in your work environment? Send me a picture!

I love to see how you laid out your "dojo" because we all have our spaces where we practice (and that's simply what the word dojo means; it's "a place of the way," a place for practice.)

Send it on over and make sure you subscribe on YouTube, so that you get your Love Letters in your email box every week.

We'll see you next time. 

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Raise the positive vibration of your work environment.

Place some object like an art piece or plant that represents your goal on your desk where you'll always see it.

Want to spiritual support on your healing journey but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Anchoring appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.