Are you, or is someone you know, a workaholic?

Worried that if you say "no" when people who ask for help, that you'll be mean or they won't like you?

Drowning in projects and things to manage, at work AND at home?

It's easier to just give in and say "yes" and be seen as helpful, than to stand your ground and say "no" and be seen as possibly selfish.

But when we do that, we add another project on to our already overwhelmed plate of "helpfulness" - perhaps this is more than just being helpful, perhaps it's now an addiction.

Watch this week's 15-minute love letter for the fifth and final installment in our 5-week deep dive on self care versus self sabotage to send healing to our relationship with (personal and professional) help-a-holism.

"I never feel like I'm doing enough."

We've been on a five-week-long deep dive into the dance that we empaths do between self-care and self-sabotage. All the different ways that we stand in the way of shining our light to our fullest potential. I'm really grateful. I just want to thank you for tuning in for week five.

I want to thank you for all your support over the years, of the love letters, my gosh. What? We're going on four or five years straight of love letters. I just want to thank you for your continued support.

This week in particular, we're going to focus on self-sabotage around workaholism and help-a-holism, fix-a-holism. Helping, and fixing, and putting out all the fires, and working all the limbs all day. Those of us who are highly sensitive individuals who are naturally empathic, who are naturally intuitive. Last week we discovered your call to be a healer, your call to healing leadership. You're sensitive for that reason.

But this week is the dark side of that, where you can be so driven to help, and to fix, and to take care give, and to take responsibility; but you lose yourself. Not only lose yourself, you may even hurt yourself.  Be kind yourself, if this is you. This last one, baby, is for you. This is our swan song, yes?

Workaholism, guides say that the soul craving behind that, or that the hidden feeling driver behind helping everybody, and fixing everything, and working constantly. The addiction to work, and projecting.

Not just projecting stuff, we're projecting people, like in your relationships, yes, yes? Maybe this isn't you, maybe we're talking about somebody else. We can pretend.

But, maybe let that obsession with being everybody's caregiver, taking care of everybody and everything. What's the hidden driver behind that?

And the guides say that it is the feeling of, "I'm not good enough. I'm not doing enough. I am good when I am doing. I am only good when I am doing."

Doing good, doing stuff for other people, pleasing others, when I'm gaining approval. Yes, yes? When I'm gaining recognition, I am worthy based on my output ... which is faulty.

Yes, it is good to do good things and to help others. This is not to say that you shouldn't be helping other people, and that you should be like, "All right, screw you all, I'm going home." Right? Pulling a Cartman. No, that's not what we're talking about here.

As much as that sounds fabulous to one of you ... I just heard someone in the energies saying, "I want to tell everyone, 'Go away.'" If that's you ... Bear with me, we're going to make it through this.

But, what's also coming up behind that, as your working, working, working and saying yes to everything; the flipside is the fear of saying, "no." Our lack of boundaries is fueling this relentless need for approval and affirmation. In the workplace, or in the eyes of someone that you helped, or getting to see their transformation so you feel worthy, because they had an outcome or you had an impact on them.

What happens, however, when there's nothing to do, no one to save, nothing to fix? The big question is, are you still worthy? Are you still lovable? Are you still acceptable? Are you still good? Are you still okay, as a person if you don't have something to do, something to do, something to do? This is a big one. When we have this addiction, this also expresses as a lack of boundaries.

What are boundaries? This is the million-dollar word for every single empath like, ever: boundaries. Boundaries are the invisible lines that separate what is you and what is not you; what is yours and what is not yours.

Now, from a spiritual perspective, yes, there is the universal law of oneness, which says, "All that is, is one." But that doesn't mean you have to do everything all the time, or that everything that's yours belongs to everybody else, or that you don't have any selfness. You don't have a worth because you don't have a self.

No. That's not what that is saying. Instead, that's just to appreciate the interconnectedness and interdependence of all of life, and all that is. However, we're talking about this turning into co dependence. Codependency is when you depend on someone or something outside of you for a sense of emotional security, to give you your emotional security, or even your identity. You're depending on them.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week:

Know this: Codependents need to DO stuff to feel worthy. Who are you without your projects?

Are you loving The Love Letters? If so, please support our healing work with a love donation:

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Workaholism, for example, my dad was a lawyer, I'm a lawyer, my kids are going to be a lawyer. If I ever lose this job, I don't know what I'm gonna do; where your job defines your personality. That's a codependent relationship. That means that you are at risk of losing yourself if that thing shifts at all. You've given all your power over to the thing that you are dependent upon.

Be kind to yourself if this is speaking to you. I don't know who this message is for, but I'm sharing it anyway, following spirit's guidance. With that, also, where we have the sense of addiction to getting things done and putting out fires, putting out fires putting out fires. Whenever we put out a fire, we get that little bit of, "Yay, I did it." And that, "Yay," is what we're addicted to, of winning and the feedback loop of, "I'm putting out and I'm receiving, putting out and I'm receiving."

That's why so many men end up becoming not present at home, because the job is what gives them recognition and affirmation constantly, and you come home to a wife that is just not paying attention, and not able to give you that feedback. It is, unfortunately, natural to become addicted more to work, where you're recognized, and you feel like you have an impact in the relationship more with your job than your own partner. Scary.

That happens to women, too, I'm not just talking about men, okay. I hear my guide saying, "This happens to the ladies, too," where work or the kids become more important than their partner, because there's something to work on. There's always something. The mom-ness becomes the identity rather than yourself being your identity, becoming codependent to the children.

Be kind to yourself if this is you. Now, this week in particular, the guides are saying, "How do we get out of this?" This addiction to working and losing ourself without our boundaries. Well, is to have values. This week in particular, you want to focus on writing out a list of what your core, desired feelings and your most prioritized values are in life. Allow your schedule to be according to what you prioritize most, what you value the most.

First things first, as they say. I believe that's in the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Put first things first. Is family really important to you? If so, where is family in your schedule? This week, we want to put, "What are your core desired feelings?" I want to feel free, I want to feel abundant, I want to feel loved, I want to feel sensual. Where are those feelings in how you spend your time each day? Rather than letting the thing that you are co dependently addicted to, such as the work or the caregiving, et cetera rather than letting only that determine how you spend your time.

This is going to shift your relationship with your workaholism. Your addiction is going shift. If you can just get clear on, "What are your core, desired feelings, and what are your most prioritized values?"

We forget, we're in that tunnel of, "I'm doing stuff, I'm doing stuff, I'm doing stuff. I'm so productive, I'm so busy. I'm doing all this busy stuff." There's a difference between being busy and actually being in business. There's a difference between being busy and actually being focused.

This, our core, desired feelings and our most prioritized values are what are going to help us clarify that. To end, Doreen Virtue, Angel Therapy; yet another one of our Doreen Virtue decks. Angels, what we need to know this week? To round off our five-week deep dive into the dance between self sabotage and self care. "Listen to your intuitive feelings."

Listen to your intuitive feelings. Your body is receiving accurate messages from the divine. This is perfect, given what we're talking about.

One of the main reasons why we can get stuck in, or create stuck-ness in a codependent, workaholic, fixaholic relationship is because we'll drown out the sensations of our body. We're not in touch. We're not in touch with ... "Oh, my neck is starting to hurt because it's 10:00 PM and I'm still at work."

We'll just keep going, going, going. Or, you know what? I actually ... I'm not really hungry for that extra candy bar, as we talked ... The second week was food. I'm not actually hungry for that chocolate candy bar. Actually, I'm craving love and affection.

Instead of shoving a chocolate candy bar down my throat so I can stay working at the computer all the livelong day, instead I'm going to reach out to receive some physical touch, or love and affection from a loved one. Listen to your feelings.

Your sensitivity is your strength here, and it's the gateway to your next level in life. Send me an email back, comment below. Let me know what's coming up for you around this, and how has this series been for you?

Are you liking the multi-week deep dives? Let me know, let me know.

Source has been telling me that you and I have got to develop a deeper relationship, and go deeper into the information, rather than just doing one idea a week. Nah, let's go there. Let's go there together, okay?

Make sure you subscribe on YouTube so that you get your love letters every week, and I'll see you next time. Muah, bye

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Put first things, first.

Write a list of your core values and core desired feelings, and see if you're spending your time each day accordingly.

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

-

Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business.

Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Busy-ness Self Sabotage – Part 5 of 5 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Are you sensitive to others' emotions and energy as an Empath?

Wondering why you keep attracting negative, dramatic, abusive or untrustworthy people?

Frustrated that your friends, family, clients or coworkers are so negative and draining?

The Law of Attraction states that "like attracts like;" therefore if you're surrounded by negative people and situations, then they're attracted to your Shadow's desire for negativity.

It's possible that although you're a positive person who loves helping people, you may be unconsciously feeding on negative energy to create connections and feel significant.

Watch this 9-minute video to learn how to stop your unconscious self-sabotage habit of feeding on negativity now!

"Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people who are takers?"

So what's really going on, then?

Could it be that we as lightworkers and empathic, sensitive individuals are naturally drawn to -- and end up feeding on, or making deep connections based on -- negativity?

Are we hardwired to focus on negative things and commiserate by sharing being in that vortex of negative appreciation with others?

We create a vortex of negative appreciation, by the way, by appreciating all the things that we mutually hate, or are mutually annoyed by, or mutually want to get rid of.

How can we shift from a negative focus to a positive focus in how we relate to others?

Source keeps asking this question, "do you feed on negative energy?"

In the energy, the Spirits are saying, "We're asking this question as always to open you up to what could possibly be going on."

Source always brings something up for a reason:

Because you might be stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage right now.

This is especially to certain people in the tribe who are wondering: 

"Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people who are takers?"

"Why do I keep attracting people who dump on me? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

"Did I do something bad in another lifetime that I'm paying for, that all of this crap keeps happening to me?"

Or "Why do I keep attracting this?"

"This" being a situation that is a challenge or feeling stuck or the same pattern happening.

If you're noticing that there are loop cycles in your life, Source is asking this rhetorical question to help you sensitize to what your role is in creating this situation.

You could be feeding on negativity as a way to connect or a way to engage.

We've been taught that focusing on negativity together brings a sense of togetherness, or where a mutual frustration is a strong bond of vulnerability.

Unfortunately though, this sense of togetherness is based in a state of victimhood and fear.

I'm hearing the Oracle cards now calling in the energy to really help us understand what can we do then to shift our state from feeding on negativity -- unconsciously unaware feeding on negativity -- by the way.

So many people are going to watch this video and be like, "That's not me." But keep a separate eyeball out for YOUR message.

I know you have 2 eyes -- I have 3. 😉 If you're watching this you probably have 3, too. But everybody needs to grow another one right now -- LOL!

Specifically, be on the extra eyeball lookout for "Am I feeding on negativity to feel significant and have a meaningful life? Am I relating to people and really forming bonds based on a negative focus vortex of appreciation?"

The Oracle cards deck that came through in the energy this week is the Archangel Oracle Cards. High vibrational beings, archangels are.

It's good that we speak to archangels and really channel their energy, because we need an uplift, we need something to pull us up energetically so that we can best understand how to shift our states around kicking the addiction to feeding on negative energy.

When using oracle cards, shuffling the cards and allowing spirit to come through is essential, and saying "Archangels of communication and guidance, please come to us and let us know how can we shift our states to stop focusing on negativity."

This one really is standing out right now -

Remember who you are.

Archangel Michael is coming through for us. He's pretty reliable.

He is such an incredible, bright presence, the most commonly spoken to and spoken of archangel out of all of the pantheon of archangels.

Archangel Michael is saying:

 

You are a powerful, loving and creative child of God. You are very loved.

What I'm first hearing Archangel Michael saying in the energy is that when you remember who you really are, you decide to see from that point of view.

There is so much more to your energy as well as all of our energies than just focusing on negative vibrations, negative occurrences, drama.

If you remember who you really are as a child of God and as a divine presence yourself, you wouldn't allow anyone to dump on you.

If you really are a sacred being and you step into that truth as being a sacred being, that's out of the question.

Know this: Your #body, your #life and your #mind are hallowed ground. Act like it. #love #tbt @SenseiWhitfield

You don't dump on hallowed ground, no, you wouldn't even think twice of that.

Hallowed ground is a protected, sacred space.

Honoring yourself as a spiritual and sacred being must come first for you to shift your state away from feeding on and attracting negativity.

The reading continues:

 

You are made in the image and likeness of your Creator, so you embody all aspects of your divine nature.

Your inner divine light is pure and bright in truth, and no mistakes can undo God's handiwork of true perfection in you.

Don't be afraid of your power, your magnificence or your wisdom. When you succeed you inspire others.

When you change your life so that it's more aligned with your interests, you inspire others.

Be powerful, be magnificent. This is who you really are.

If you notice that you are feeding on negative energy -- and most energyworkers, empaths and lightworkers, by the way, do -- be kind to yourself.

Whether or not you're aware of it right now, I want you to be sensitive to the fact that you're at a very high probable risk of feeding on negative energy.

When you notice this, realize that this is happening because you're not giving yourself permission to be powerful and magnificent.

Instead, we're playing small. We're afraid of our power.

That's why, rather than stepping into a positive focus -- no matter what is happening in front of you because the universe is rearranging itself in your best interests at any given moment -- you shrink.

Rather than stepping into that greatness, no, we'll fall back on social convention of "Oh yeah, it's a terrible day out" or "Oh yeah, that person is really awful, let me tell you about her..."

You go down a notch energetically -- we all do, because we're afraid to stick out and be bright with a positive focus, and feeding ourselves only positive energy and focusing only on positive energy.

Even if other people come up and try to make heart connections with you based in fear and victimhood, you can do this.

It is absolutely possible.

And no, it's not naieve. There's more to being positive than being dumb or sticking one's head in the sand. Just because you're choosing to focus on the negative DOES NOT mean you're being "realistic."

Be kind to yourself if you're afraid to go this route.

You can do it. Remember who you really are.

Right now I'm sending you a tremendous amount of love. I see you as you are, as a divine and spiritual being, and I'm sending you big hugs and kisses. 

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Act like your time, body and mind are absolutely sacred spaces; treating her with the same level of reverence as you would a church or temple. She is already significant and meaning-filled without the focus on stories of drama and negativity -- no matter how true they are.

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

Want to de-stress and clear your energy but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Feeding on Negativity – Part 2 of 2 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Feel like you're surrounded by negativity and don't know why?

Known as "the positive one," do people always go to you for support, telling you their whole life's story -- even as total strangers?

Love helping people in need, giving advice, solving problems and seeing lives change because it gives you a sense of purpose?

This message is for all you awesome Mr. and Ms. Fix-It's out there who are feeling exhausted by all the negative energy they're called to heal.

Spirit is sending you a loving warning: though your purpose is to be a Lightworker who spreads healing light and love on the planet, be careful that you are not feeding on the negativity along the way.

Watch the above 6-minute video to see if YOU feed on negative energy and not even know it!

"Am I drawn to negativity because I need to fix it?"

This week, Source is asking do you feed on negative energy?

It's interesting that we're asking you this in particular, because most of the people in the TRIBE who watch the Love Letters, if not all the people in our TRIBE, are sensitive to negative energy.

We know that the overwhelming answer, initially, is going to be "No! No-no. I am clearing my life of negative energy. The last thing that I want around me is negative vibe people, negative events, negative news, negative food, negative thoughts, feelings, or any kind of negative vibes. Get it away! Cooties!" Right?

This is the equivalent of Source asking you "Oh, do you eat cooties as your primary source of nutrition every day? Do you like cooties?"

No! Nobody likes cooties. No, of course not.

But the Energy is asking this question more as a rhetorical question.

Let's explain. In our culture, and in most cultures, a point of connection between people, a socially acceptable point of connection between people and getting to know others.

Making friends. Bonding with loved ones. Or, understanding each other on similar levels, on philosophical or political vibrations.

A commonly acceptable way to make connections is through negativity.

It could be focusing on something negative that happened in the news recently. Or, sharing something negative - sharing is a powerful connector.

Sharing things like "this really annoying person did this." Or, "this crappy thing happened to me and I'm so frustrated about it I just want to be able to share how crappy things are."

Or even at work, when we're coming together for a meeting, we may relate to our coworkers by saying and "Oh yeah, the coffee here is always terrible." "Oh I know, right? It's just so bad."

Know this: #Focus on the #negative, & you'll get more of it. Go figure. #Choose to speak #life today! #takecharge2016 #spreadlove

This sense of making connections according to negative energy doesn't just stop there, Source is saying.

On top of that, very positive, loving, open, sensitive and intuitive people who are givers at heart -- called "Lightworkers" -- are givers in response to the tremendous amount of negative energy that they are surrounded by.

However, we Lightworkers tend to have what's called a bit of a "savior complex" or "martyrdom addiction."

What does this look like?

Well, what this looks like in the energy, or in our behavioral patterns moreover, is that when people are in trouble or they're emotionally overwhelmed, or things are difficult for them, or they're dramatic -- we're drawn to that.

We're drawn to that negative vibration to resolve it, as if we are in charge of making everyone and everything happy.

We assume we are responsible, as the positive lightworker beacons of light that we are, to eradicate all negativity and make sure everyone is healthy, happy and comfortable.

Because of that, we're drawn to negativity.

But this assumption is coming from your Shadow side.

Now, Source is saying let's take a look this week in particular at your energy and really ask ourselves "Am I drawn to negativity because I NEED to fix it? Because I think I know better? Or because I think can help?"

Ask yourself, "is this the way that I relate to people, listening to and absorbing their troubles, and really letting them be in a vortex of negative focus with me?" 

A.K.A: "Do I let people dump on me so they feel better? And so I can feel useful, significant and connected to them?"

As if you're some sort of an energetic trashcan.

If you're an energetic trashcan, then you just catch everybody else's problems because you're here to listen, here to love and to heal, but it's because you're drawn to negativity. You're drawn to cooties.

You don't have to do that.

You don't have to be a moth to the flame of negativity in life, because guess what happens when that moth finally meets the flame? We get burned.

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Notice when you catch yourself trying to make someone happy by focusing on negativity with them, or letting them dump on you.

When you do, ask yourself: "Wait... Why am I doing this?"

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

Want to de-stress and clear your energy but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing  journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Feeding on Negativity – Part 1 of 2 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Disappointment got you down?

Having a hard time forgiving yourself for messing up?

Wish you could just feel better already, instead of feeling like a failure all the time?

If this is you, believe it or not, you're on the verge of a breakthrough.

Every disappointment and seeming "failure" holds healing knowledge sent from Spirit to clean up your energy and move you to your next level.

Watch the above 10-minute video to learn how to shift your energy immediately to receiving healing and clearing spiritual knowledge! 

"I feel like a failure."

To help you find the Dark Gift in disappointment is like finding a needle in a haystack.

When we're really low-vibration in guilt and all those yucky, gooey sensations of resentment and self-unforgiveness, it's hard to see the light.

We're just keep saying to ourselves: "No! Everything's doom and gloom and I'm a piece of doody-pants."

One thing that helps shift your vibration fast -- and if you come to The Dojo you'll always see me do this -- is to celebrate when things don't work out.

I know you're watching, all of my students that this has happened to; when they come back out of meditation, they say: "Sensei, I didn't go anywhere. I didn't see anything, I was right here the whole time."

What do I do every time? My students know that every time they say this, I say: "Yay! Yes! Going nowhere, doing nothing! WOOHOO!!"

Why? Not because I'm a crazy-pants... well, maybe, but I'm a crazy-pants with good reason. 🙂 Everyone is crazy for a reason, just ask them!

The reason why we celebrate is not only because "Well, you tried," which is always positive, but also whenever you celebrate your brain re-orients herself to say "What am I celebrating?"

She is immediately looking to see what are the positives in this situation; she automatically reframes the situation to support positive outcomes. This is called Neuro-linguistic Programming, by the way.

When we're in celebration mode, our brain must support that with data. The new-aged version of this exact same phenomena is the Universal Law of Attraction.

What you need to know most right now is that the more you celebrate in the face of disappointment, the more you will immediately align with what there to celebrate.

You'll know. Seriously, it works like magic. It's like fairy dust.

Try it, you will see just how effective it is.

Know this: You can shift your state right now: celebrate in the face of disappointment & you'll discover why your failure is healing.

By all means clap and scream and celebrate over your perceived failure until you're able to find out what is celebratory in this.

Gratitude, admiration, adoration, joy and high vibrations are constantly present. They just don't show up out of nowhere and then disappear. Why?

Because everything is Now.

All that is, is right now.

The lowest vibrations you could possibly emanate are just as present as the highest vortexy, juicy, yummy woo thing you could possibly experience.

All vibrations are present now.

By being in celebration, choosing to celebrate disappointment, you will activate your ability to perceive and receive any Dark Gifts that are coming out of your experience.

It doesn't matter how dark or how painful the situation is, trust me, this always works.

And with that I'm hearing the Oracle cards loud and clear. The Healing with the Fairies oracle card deck is the one that said "We want to talk about disappointment and failure!" Yay!

Interesting. So the card that is coming up is "Vacation." Thank you, fairies!

So what I just heard in the energy is the reason why this card is coming up: a change of scenery.

If you've really been feeling like "I feel guilty," or "I feel like a failure," say you lost your job or the business tanked or the marriage is ending and going down divorce, then the fairies are sending you this message:

A change of environment can really help raise your vibration.

Once you're in that shifted environment, then look back with celebratory energy.

Sometimes things are so heavy, disappointing and immersive that the environment around us can really re-emanate that super low vibration, and your mind follows along with that.

The most stressful part of dealing with disappointment and failure is that we just keep turning it over and over.

But you have to understand that the room, the house, the building, the space that you are in reflects your mind and all of your mental, emotional vibrations.

She will continue to re-vibrate and replay all of what's been on your mind and on your heart, all that energy.

Energy of low-vibration emotions and thought, all of that that you've been putting out, she will continue to replay that and reverberate that back to you.

Changing your environment is really important if you've suffered a pretty serious failure or a big disappointment.

Go on a vacation. If you can't afford a vacation that's fine, go outside or go over to someone else's house, change the scenery and allow your space at home or at the office, to clear out.

It's cathartic always when we go through this clearing process after the business failed and we have to clear out the energy.

Clearing and rebooting is really good because it's clearing your mind.

Environment always effects and reflects the mind, and therefore shifting your environment from one space to another is really essential for dealing with disappointment.

The fairies want you to know that it's okay to give yourself permission to do that.

In the divorce, go over to your friends' or parents' house and spend some time with them. Allow someone to be nurturing to you who you know loves you no matter what.

If the term paper didn't go well and you have the wherewithal to do it, go down the shore (to the beach) and let the ocean wash away your pain.

Be in the mountains, get yourself in nature, or even go to the arcade and whack the mole. Delicious! I love playing Whack-a-mole when I'm pissed about something! LOL! 🙂

It's all about a change of scenery because that'll help you to shift out of that crappy, crusty vibration.

Don't wallow in the mud of the past, because it will just slow you down. 

I am sending you so much love, I'm surrounding you in the energy with white light and I will see you next week.

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Celebrate your disappointments and failures! Shout and be silly: "YAY! I DID IT!" And then wait for it.... ????

As you clap and rejoice the fact that you tried, stay open to Spirit showing you any lessons you can learn about yourself and your life.

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

Want to de-stress and clear your energy but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Dealing with Disappointment Part 2 of 2 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Have you ever had a project not work out the way you expected it to, and that threw you for a loop?

Beating yourself up over a failed business or relationship?

Annoyed that you have to start at square one, AGAIN?

Periodically life lets us down or we ourselves drop the ball; we all know that disappointment is just a part of life.

But sometimes when this happens, we can get caught in a toxic never-ending cycle of self-loathing and self-punishment.

Watch the above 10-minute video to begin breaking out of this toxic cycle of self-sabotage! 

"What do I need to know right now? What am I supposed to learn in this moment?"

Have you ever had a project not work out the way you expect it to?

Maybe the business failed, the relationship failed. Or you asked someone to do something, where you delegated something to another person and it didn't work out, and they didn't do it the way that you wanted it to be done.

You put so much work and effort into this project or paper or exam, and it comes back or goes through and you see that it nope, totally doesn't look like what you were hoping the outcome to be at all.

You sent out your college essay and nope, you got a rejection. Working out, eating clean, as best as you can, get on the scale, nope! No weight lost.

Disappointment, oh yeah. Failure... delicious! Lol!

If you're feeling, "I'm struggling with that right now, Victoria" this is not to make fun of you. I'm laughing because I'm in the mud with you, feeling you strongly so my heart is so open to you right now.

We're going to dive right into this, and laugh our way through the crap of life, together. 🙂

Source says that we have a tendency to ruminate and really draw out the failure event with our guilt and disappointment, chewing on it like a cow chewing on cud.

Cud is the stuff that comes out of all of her stomachs--what is it like 8 of them or something like that?

She chews so that she can continue the experience of getting through all of the nutrients in that grass for hours and hours and hours on end.

You don't need to be in that slow, drawn-out process, is what the Spirit is saying.

It's one way to approach failure and disappointment: to draw it out and say "This is exactly why I suck."

Or waxing poetic: "How many ways can I be horrible? Let me count the ways," or "Let's get creative! How can I express how much failure I am in 60 seconds? Go!"

My love, let me count the ways. No Shakespeare, stop it! Just stop. STOP!

The way that we want to deal with disappointment is to embrace her.

Failure must be embraced. To cast her away or pull her out and torture yourself is to drag yourself thought the mud excessively.

It's when we go into that process of self-deprecating behavior and masochism, the "I'm guilty, I feel so bad. Oh my god you washed the dishes for me, I feel so bad, I'm a failure at being helpful..." etc.

Interesting, one of the Spirits just said "be kind to yourself, if that's what you're going through." Again, this is not to make fun of you, but to help you see yourself.

Know this: Guilt and negative self-talk are low-vibrational forms of centering meditation. Be kind to yourself; there are better ways.

The energy says that whenever we experience failure or that strong sensation of being out of alignment, we come out of our bodies.

This happens because all of the energy that we have put out into that project or relationship, or into whatever, didn't work out. We funneled ourselves into that identity that we formed, we put so much of our energy into that and when it doesn't go through, we find ourselves outside of our bodies and our truth.

Guilt, disappointment and all of that negative rumination is a mistaken and low vibrational way of centering: you're coming back to a sense of self through masochism.

We see that you're trying to come back to center and recreate your identity after failure through guilt, like "Oh I know who I am because of what I am not." Ok.

That's a fallacy though, because that's going to take you farther away from who you really are as a divine being; this is what I'm seeing in the energy right now.

Be kind to yourself if that's where you're at.

You're just mistaken.

You see, in the moment that you are trying to re-center and find your authentic energy, you're striving to get to the point where you're thinking positively: "Okay, this is me, this is me. Phew! I'm all solid again, I'm not pushed out into all of this stuff around me that's failing and being disappointing. That person didn't do it the way I would. That doesn't mean I'm horrible." Or, "That relationship didn't work out, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure."

You're identity, Source says, is spread out too thin so that act of guilt and the act of drawn out disappointment and holding onto that sense of self-unforgiveness (which is guilt and dragging ourselves through the mud and resentment) is just an inverse way of trying to re-center.

We tell you this for a reason: See the light, even in the darkness.

The way that we best deal with disappointment is for searching for The Dark Gift in it.

I don't mean dark gift, like Dracula spookypants boogadeyboo, etc dark gift, lol.

What I mean by dark gift is gifts that we find in our shadow, gifts that the spirit sends through experiences.

And by the way, the spirit is constantly sending gifts, infinite amount of gifts you are receiving now.

Not in the past, you got them. Not in the future, that didn't happen. Now.

There is an infinite amount of gifts that are present to you and latent in the dark side of what's happening, like disappointments.

Those gifts in the darkness or in uncertainty or in your shadow are what we mean by dark -- not like boogedy evil, we don't mean that.

Dark Gifts are learning gifts.

They're there to help you embrace the disappointment, embrace the distraction, embrace the failure. You embrace by saying "I screwed up and I GET to LEARN from it."

One of my students awakened me to a wonderful quote years ago.

A quote by John C. Maxwell, "We always fail forward. Why? Because you tried."

Failing forward is the ability to get back up after you've been knocked down and to learn from your mistakes.

It really embodies this concept of embracing the dark gifts that disappointment is trying to send us.

In the previous video we talked about acceptance and how that can kind of be lubricant to life if you're feeling blocked or static.

Being in a state of Acceptance can help you figure out where's the stepping stone for you to take in this experience you're having now.

That absolutely applies here because in our disappointments, when things don't work out, there's always a way to look back at the process and see how could that have gone better and if it couldn't have gone better, reflect on "What do I need to know right now? What am I supposed to learn in this moment?"

Check back next week for part 2 of this love letter!

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Pay attention to how you talk about and describe yourself today, listening for negative and guilt-laden language that's focused on past failures, shortcomings and disappointments.

When you catch yourself doing this, finish the following sentence to yourself: "I accept that I can't change what happened and I know I can only change myself and how I feel; so what I am learning right now is..."

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

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The post Love Letters | Dealing with Disappointment – Part 1 of 2 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.