Scared to stand out and take up space?

Shrinking yourself physically or emotionally to make others comfortable, or even for fear of being seen?

Do you tend to "keep your mouth shut" around others, rather than speaking your mind openly?

Our bodies are mirrors of our emotional health and mindset.

So if you live with chronic tightness, aches and pains, that's actually a physical manifestation of limiting beliefs you have about yourself.

Watch this week's 11-minute love letter video, the final installment of our 5-week series on living life unapologetically, to release all restriction and boldly take up space in life and business!

"I don't trust myself to be able to get my point across."

So this is week five of five in our deep dive into living life unapologetically. Yeah.

This has been a powerful, powerful series of living fully, right? And embracing our brilliance, living as if, as we discussed last week, we're already worthy, right?

There's nothing additional that needs to be done. We're worthy now. If you missed that, go back on YouTube, check it out. Watch that video.

This week, the spirit guides have said our topic is taking up space. Take up space. Do this with me. Spread your arms out. Open your chest. Breathe deep and exhale. Take up space, right?

Are you someone, if you are blessed vertically, if you're tall, do you tend to hunch, or stand with a slouch so that you appear shorter? Are you someone who feels a bit insecure about speaking up, so instead, rather than waste people's time, or be annoying and take up space, you tend to hurry yourself.

Do you hurry yourself when you're speaking, or not even express anything? In your home, by the way, is there no space for you, or is all your stuff crammed into the corner or shoved into a drawer? Are you afraid to really spread out so that you can be creative and expressive?

Right? No, that's not for you. That's for the kids. You're not allowed, right?

If that's you, be kind to yourself. Just because other people take up space doesn't mean that you are not allowed to. There's enough space for all of us. That's a tweetable, as Marie Forleo would say.

Know this, there's enough space for all of us. You are enough. The world is enough. There's enough time for all of us. Be kind to yourself.

‪Know this: There's enough space for all of us. Just because other people take up space, doesn't mean that you're not allowed to. Take up space, #unapologetically!

If you carry shame, right? Do you carry that shame around all ... You know, "I have something to say, but you know, everybody has something to say, and I don't really trust myself to get my point across, so instead of being articulate, and expressing openly, I'll be quiet, and watch everyone else try and fail, but at least, you know, I didn't try, so I didn't fail." I'm giving you a big hug if this is you. I know this is tough. Oh my goodness. Take up space.

But this week in particular, the guides are showing images of you decompressing your body. Stretch. Go ahead. Stand up, like right now. Stand up. Get up, get up, and reach over your head, tickle the ceiling, wherever you are, tickle it and just radiate your light in all directions.

Allow your hips to roll open. Stretch your jaw, right? Your eyes, stretch your eyes. Yeah. Roll your shoulders. Roll them open. Do freestyle, whatever you need to do to open up any tightness in your body. Take up space.

Be kind to yourself.

If you're afraid of taking up space in conversation, or even with your marketing, for example, to all my entrepreneurs and business owners, if you're uncomfortable being visible, and commanding attention, start with your body. Let's be clear. We're going to start internally. The healing starts with you.

You don't have to worry about anybody else, but instead, open your body first. Decompress, right? I can't show you this on camera, but if you were to hang over your knees and let your head be pulled down by gravity, you could even decompress your spine. So important.

So, it's essential for you, in living life unapologetically, to not be so compressed all the time. This is an apology for being in the same space as everyone else, and this is affirming that there's not enough space for you. Trust me, the universe is big enough to handle you. In all your imperfections and all your awesomeness, the universe is big enough.

Come out and play. Make it open, and even if it's a bit messy, whatever, right? Be kind to yourself. You don't have to do it perfectly.

So take up space, and stretch especially. Stretch open your body. Imagine, by the way, as you stretch your body, filling the space with your energy, as if you were shining light and radiating light into the entire room, into the entire building, out into the town, out into the state, around the country, and out into the world, right?

Radiate that permission to take up space. Do it for your brothers and sisters who are in extreme poverty, right? Who are oppressed, and depressed, and repressed. Open your body on behalf of our tribe, on behalf of our tribe. Take up space.

I'm hearing the Oracle Cards calling the energy this week, again is our last with the daily guidance from the Angels, another Oracle Cards deck, one of the many that have been donated here at the dojo, always accepting donations. Okay, Angels. What do we need to know right now, about taking up space? Cupid. Beautiful. Aw, there's so much love in this card, Cupid. Oh, the heart bubble. So sweet.

"We send great waves of love into your heart and mind, awakening your love for life itself. Your clear decision to accept and enjoy romance has triggered this awakening. Allow yourself to spontaneously celebrate love in all of its glorious aspects."

So, my guides are telling me ... This Angel card has come forward in particular, for you to welcome love into your life. Yes, romantic love. Yes, physical love. Yes, emotional love. Yes, love. Opening up to receive more love in your life starts with you being open and decompressed, right? Take up space.

Give yourself permission to say, "Hi. What's your name?" To all of my single people out there, take up space, get yourself a ... like, you know, a seat at the coffee shop and type on your laptop conspicuously. Take up space, and if you are married, or with a partner, your lover, take up space with them. Like, "I desire to be with you," or "I'm going to be in your space because I love you," yeah? Take up emotional space. You can say what you need and you can express yourself. This is your permission.

This week in particular, take up space. How are you going to do it, right? Are you just going to start with the physical stretching more, and making sure that your body physically is open and lubricated, or are you also going to take it the emotional and social level? Are you going to take up space in your relationships and interactions?

Comment below on YouTube, on Facebook, send me an email back, right? I want to hear it. How are you taking up space. I love love and I love love letters, so send me a mail. Send me a love letter in the mail. I just got one. Yay! Thanks, Johanna. Hers is right there, that white piece of paper, pink writing. So beautiful. Thank you, goddess.

And, make sure you subscribe on YouTube so that you get these love letters first every week, all right? Live life unapologetically.

We'll see you next time. Bye.

(Original post 01/29/2018)

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

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This is the fifth and final week of our exploration of vulnerability, cultivating our relationship with being vulnerable and improving our ability to engage and open up in a positive way, maybe for the first time.

Now if this is the first video that you're seeing in this series, make sure that you hit pause, go back on my blog at VictoriaWhitfield.com and start from part one, so that you are grounded in this process. Without further ado, this week in particular for the fifth and final week of our discussion on vulnerability, my spirit guides have asked us to discuss vulnerable leadership.

Last week, we talked about the power of opening up as an empath to being vulnerable, so that we can better relate to and interact with the people and things that we care about in this lifetime. We talked about respecting our energy as empaths, but also not letting our sensitivity dominate us in this lifetime – claiming that as a power, rather than a disability – or be something that you're constantly afraid of or overly protecting yourself from. This week, however, we're going even farther into vulnerability as a power and applying it to leadership.

A wonderful role model of vulnerable leadership and someone who's a thought leader in this area, two people actually, I would have to say one is Simon Sinek and the other is Brene Brown. If you have not checked out their work, I highly recommend it. They have amazing, inspiring, empowering things to share with you around vulnerable leadership and how healing it is especially in the professional world.

The most painful thing that I've seen is how insensitive leadership destroys powerful teams that have become like family and overcome the most incredible odds together. These things that come from the top-down in corporate – restructuring, or layoffs, or whatever hot word they use to explain being insensitive to the needs and the preciousness of the relationships of the people that are working under them – it's incredible how destructive they can be.

I grew up watching my mother re-enter the workforce after 17 years as a homemaker to work for a certain corporation as a technical writer, and then a web developer, and coder for over 20 years. I remember as a kid going to their picnics and things and seeing all of these people that she worked with like my extended family, and feeling part of something bigger; seeing them laughing, and supporting one another. ...Then I also lived through, as a young woman, watching them be torn apart, seeing the stress, and the pain of those wonderful relationships being just torn apart, torn apart by restructuring or “re-orgs” as the company would say. I'm not going to say what company because I want to respect privacy here.

Maybe you've seen this happen in your family – your work family – or your corporation as well, this being torn apart by insensitive leadership, putting numbers before people, or putting self-protection first, which is something that we hinted at last week. Let's go into it this time for our final discussion: the toxic effects of putting self-protection before serving their community around us.

We can get protection-obsessed especially in the professional world because for some reason we allow money and numbers to make us paranoid and prioritize dollars and quotas, and metrics above people, relationships, health and mutual human respect. Be kind to yourself if this is something that you've witnessed happening and that you don't want to be a part of any longer. If only just for today, commit to being open as a leader. Commit to developing your ability to be vulnerable along with the people who you are leading.

Simon Sinek gives us a wonderful example of how to measure how open-hearted you are as a leader. Leaders, he says, are people who watch out for the people to the right and to the left of them. That is it. It has nothing to do with titles, what's on your business card, or what your website says, or how big your office is, or how big your bank account is, or not. It's who are you being on a moment-to-moment basis. In order to look out for, to take care of, the people to the left and to the right of you, you've got to be open to what's going on with them, rather than just what's going on with “Me” and making sure that I'm getting x, y, z done, and so on.

It is a mental acrobatic that you do at first to decide, “I'm going to be concerned, and open, and curious, and communicative with the people that are to the left and to the right of me. The people that are supporting me, I am going to support them. I'm going to be open to how do they feel right now. I'm going to ask them, ‘how are you feeling? Are you all right?’ and loving and supporting them in that.”

Coming from a space of your own center of love and support and not forgetting that you as a leader have needs and have feelings is also important, which is something that we also discussed last week, opening to the fact that I have feelings, too, as an Empath. As someone who supports others, I have feelings. I have needs, and they have got to be honored and respected by me first and then also the people that I'm sharing this life experience with.

Be kind to yourself if in trying to be a vulnerable leader, meaning someone who is present to and caring for the people who are in your care, you've sacrificed your own self-care. That is negative vulnerable leadership because it leaves you open to health problems, relationship problems, spiritual and emotion oppression, depression. Be kind to yourself. That leaves you negatively vulnerable.

How can we then as leaders, moreover as Healing Leaders (that's my term) on this planet, how can we open up to leading from the heart, leading with courage, and positive vulnerability? I’m curious, what does that look like? Positive, vulnerable leadership, is healing leadership. I would venture that it starts with healing self, first, and staying open to being present to those that are in our care, who are supporting us, who are following us, and share the same beliefs and vision that we have. We're all working together in one direction. At the same time, there's the person out in front who holds the vision, being the Visionary. --

Click to share the Tweet of the Week:

Know this: Be kind to yourself if in trying to be a vulnerable leader, meaning someone who is present to and caring for the people who are in your care, you've sacrificed your own self-care.  #empath #entrepreneur #workaholic @SenseiWhitfield

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Are you healing? Are you present to yourself? Okay, if you are, you're doing your self-care, you're doing your spiritual nourishment, your physical nourishment and love. Good. And are you present to the people around you needing the same, just as much love, and approval, and support, and honor as you're showing yourself? Are they also learning how to do that for the people behind them as well?

Be a Healing Leader. It entails being open to being vulnerable, cultivating that ability to be vulnerable, but if only just for today, commit to being a healing leader by opening to being vulnerable in a positive and empowering way.

I'm hearing the Oracle cards like, "Hey, pick us!" It's Healing with the Angels oracle cards deck by Doreen Virtue, her very first oracle cards deck that she ever made in her career. Angels, what do we need to know right now about stepping into healing leadership by embodying being positive, vulnerable leaders? ...This is so good, like I could literally do an entire summit on this, “listening.” Listening! This is so perfect. I love that in the picture, she's listening to her angels, and her angels are listening to her. I'm going to read, I don't really have to, but before I read I just want to tell you what I'm hearing from my spirit guides around listening.

The most powerful leaders I've ever followed in my own life have been profound listeners, profound. Having the courage to listen to your people as a leader is essential. God, She gave us two ears and one mouth. We've got to listen twice as much as we give directions and directives. Anyway, let’s start listening. Let me read:

Listening. You are in communication with your angels and the messages that you are receiving are very real indeed. Trust them. This card is a validation from your angels that you really are hearing them. You have been receiving repetitive messages through your feelings, dreams, visions, inner voice, or knowingness. Are you listening and trusting these messages? Are you following them? If you get an inclination to call someone, go somewhere, or read something, it's important to follow this guidance. By drawing this card, your angels ask you to give all your doubts or worries about divine guidance to them. Know that you truly are communicating with heaven and enjoy the conversations.

This is so perfect. Here's where we'll leave off for this entire series: Cultivating your listening sense. Your active listening is also cultivating positive vulnerability. If you are not comfortable listening to others, or you feel impatient, it's just because you haven't cultivated listening as a skill. It's just a skill that you're a little bit deficient in. If you just dedicate time and mental space to it, it gets easier and more pleasurable with time.

If you need to work on your listening skills, I highly recommend my book Natural Intuition Now. I take you step by step exactly through how to listen with presence and also why it is so important. The more that we become intuitive, open, vulnerable, healing and empowered leaders, the better our world becomes, the better the legacy of love becomes that we leave behind us in all the work that we do and all the people, all the lives that we touch.

Send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfiled.com. What's coming up for you around this? Make sure you subscribe on YouTube, so that you get Love Letters first every single week. Tag someone who needs to hear this, and I will see you in the next one.

May you feel loved and safe to be your most brilliant self at work.

Please, enjoy the journey. Muah. See you soon. --

Just for today...

Challenge yourself to actively listen twice as much as you speak, when in conversations and meetings.

Listen to your body, your feelings, others’ bodies and feelings, and shine the light of your attention on the things left unsaid by all involved in the conversation (yourself included).

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | VulnerAble Leadership – Part 5 of 5 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

This is week three of five in our exploration of vulnerability. Vulnerability being having the ability to be vulnerable in a positive and healing way.

Now if this is the first time you're seeing anything about this series, make sure you stop, go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com, and start from part one so that you are grounded in your evolutionary process.

Without further ado, for week three of five, my guides have continued us on this journey through vulnerability, specifically looking now at the idea of positive vulnerability. Last week we talked about negative vulnerability and those spaces that gather in our hearts, exploring the negative space that open wounds that we have from past negative experiences. We tend to immediately associate with the word “negative” with “vulnerability”, right?

When we think of vulnerability we associate negative things with it. Webster's dictionary, we talked about that in week one, has that horrible definition of “being open to attack or wound”, rather than just being open and exposing one's self, whether in a good or a bad way.

So this week in particular though, we're advancing this concept of, alright, my vulnerable spaces have been in the past, you know, the first things that come to my mind are negative. But in fact, what about positive vulnerability? Have you ever had the experience of things going really well, but really, really well? Like “oh, my god, what's going to happen if things blow up? Oh no! I don't know what to expect next.” You know, when you start to freak out and say, “okay, he said yes. Oh, what do I do now? Oh no! This person cares about me.” Or “these people are excited to buy in to my program at the number that I told them the price was. What's happening?” Has this ever happened to you?

Have you ever had that positive vulnerable experience, and also clamped shut? Thinking, “oh no, no, no, no. This can't be real. There's something wrong going on here. No, no, no. This is not for me, this is probably for them”, right? Immediately avoiding and dodging and, oh my gosh, repelling all of the good that may be coming through. That’s a moment of positive vulnerability. People wanting to feature you, put you out on stage, share your story. And you wanting to run and hide like, “oh my god, no, no, I don't want to be seen, this is to scary, I'm not ready.” Freaking out when something really big and really good is about to happen.

Be kind to yourself if you've had that experience. That fear of success, or, here it comes, I'm going there:  that fear of arousal or even being in that orgasmic state, letting go. Having a positive, open loss of control. Or that even in just an emotional way, positive openly emotional loss of control. Being held by somebody when something awful has happened, just letting go and crying in their arms.

Recently a family member of mine passed away. And we were there for them through the whole natural death cycle at home. What an amazing honor. And I was challenged to be able, vulner-able enough, that when I went to visit my nephew, and when he wanted to hug me and hold me to console me because he loves me and wants to be supportive, being vulnerAble enough to see “oh, I have permission to let go and cry on his shoulder” rather than hold it all together to be strong aunt Victoria. So I did. And it was beautiful for both of us – haha, he cried too!

Such a healing, bonding, beautiful experience. And I'll put this on me, I've had so many times in my life where someone's telling me it's okay to cry. And I  said “no. I'm happy. I know it's okay to cry.” But I'm going to cry in the bathroom or in the car or late at night after everyone's asleep. I'm going to cry off-camera. Or not when I'm here supporting You. Or while I'm here performing, speaking, etc.

That positive vulnerability is a whopper. Can we be open to it when the opportunity comes? This week, in particular, my guides are saying there are opportunities on the table for you to open up and receive at another level, the level that you have been asking for. That level of emotional support. That level of financial breakthrough.

I'm thinking of one of my clients in particular: she had the financial breakthrough that she had prayed for years for right in front of her: five hundred thousand dollars. A potential investor was sitting right in front of her, ready to give five hundred thousand. She had done everything right, just as we talked about in our sessions, to attract abundance. But she freaked in the moment, thinking “oh it can't be for me, or oh my god I have to fix it, I got to find Someone Else for this person to donate to because it can’t be for me.” Out of fear and limiting beliefs, she clamped shut to and dodged the abundance – and gurl, I’ve done that so many times too. We all have! Being at peace with positive vulnerability is no joke.

Be kind to yourself if you're pushing away the good rather than being open to that next level breakthrough and moving through your upper limit. That is a positive vulnerable experience, and it is just as challenging and, dare I say, traumatic as a negative vulnerable experience.

Be kind to yourself. It's time to engage being open to it, maybe for the first time.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week: 

Know this: Be kind to yourself. It's time to engage being open to positive vulnerability, maybe for the first time. #empath #entrepreneur #healing @SenseiWhitfield

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Now I'm hearing the oracle cards calling in the energy. The deck that we've been journeying with all month is Healing With The Angels oracle cards deck by Doreen Virtue, her very first oracle cards deck that she ever created. Angels, what do we need to know right now about our fear of success, and our positive vulnerability around getting that next-level manifestation? It's happening, so help us. Angels, what do we need to know right now around allowing positive vulnerability?

Forgiveness. Here we go! My guides are immediately saying this has to do with forgiving yourself for pushing away the good or not trusting that you can handle the good or the breakthrough or the next level of success. My guides are immediately saying this is about self-forgiveness. But you know, let's see what Doreen channeled about it in the book. She has really great writings.

Forgiveness. Let go of anger and resentment, and feel yourself healed. You don't need to forgive the action, just the person, so that you can be at peace. By drawing this card, your angels guide you to release anger and irritation. They realize that you may be perfectly justified in feeling angry. Yet they ask you to look at the high price you pay for being the vessel of anger. Forgiveness does not mean what you did is okay to me. It simply means I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions. When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves after all. Your angels help you to release unforgiveness if you will just ask for their assistance.

This is beautiful. Beautiful. And this is where we're going to leave off for the week. We're talking about forgiveness for fearing our own positive vulnerability.

We're also engaging that trust that may have been broken before when we let ourselves down before in the past. Where things were going so well, and then, we missed the mark. It's okay to forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up for missing the boat and being human, before. This vulnerability thing is a skill that takes time to learn, and we are open, if only just for now, to engaging it.

So I'm curious, what do you have to forgive yourself for? Around not being receptive to something, but you wish you would have been, and you regret it. Go ahead, send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield.com. Or comment below this blog wherever it's posted. We post everywhere!

Thanks to all of our subscribers on all social media and online platforms. Mwah. Big hugs and love. Make sure you, by the way, subscribe on YouTube so that you get these love letters first, every week. Because that is where they are posted first. Tag a friend who needs to hear this message, who's having that positive vulnerable experience, and needs to just be kind to themselves in opening to being more receptive.

My prayer, my wish for you is that you may feel loved and safe. Especially at work, because that is half your waking life!

May you enjoy the journey to your soul's expansion. Mwah.

I'll see you next week. Bye for now.

(Original post 04/15/2019)

Just for today...

Lean in to opportunities to open up and receive support, visibility, love and abundance that are outside your comfort zone.

Acknowledge the voices of disbelief in your head, and lean into engaging your positive vulnerable experience anyway.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

Click the pink button below to take your Abundance Energy Jumpstart Assessment with Victoria and jumpstart your healing journey, today! 

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Positive VulnerAbility – Part 3 of 5 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Welcome to week two of five of our exploration of vulnerability.

And if, by the way, if this is the first video that you're seeing in the series and you're like, "Holy cow! Two of five?" Hit pause, go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com and start from part one so that you are grounded in this evolutionary process; you deserve to be grounded and centered in that.

Without further ado, for week two of five, the topic that my Guides have asked us to cover is negative vulnerability. Negative vulnerability, and let's talk about it because when we're opening up, or being willing to be open, which is what we talked about last week, dipping our toe into a sea of vulnerability as a positive in our lives, the first thing that pops up is all the times that we got burned trying to open up and love again, or to trust again, or to lean on somebody else.

I mean, especially if you're a strong one. If you are the leader, or if you are the teacher, the mentor, the healer, the guardian, the provider, the protector, and so on and so forth, or you're the nurturer. If you're Mama Bear and you try to lean on somebody, you’re thinking “it's already hard enough to ask for help, but now I actually need it, let me lean on you,” and then they crack beneath you. We remember that. That one stays in your head, the disappointment, right? And this week in particular is dedicated to invoking and honoring those points of broken trust, those points of grief and rage and disappointment.

My Guides are actually inviting us this week in particular to journal about it. Now, I know some of my clients are very private people and they're like, "You know I can't even write stuff down. I can't have feelings! What if someone sees my journal? My kids are going to crack it open, or they're going to pry it open and read all the things I'm talking about." Okay, if that’s you then go ahead, write it on toilet paper and flush it down the toilet. Or write it on a piece of paper and then throw that in the fireplace. But write it down, because journaling is about therapeutic awareness.

When we're invoking negative vulnerability and beginning to heal our relationship with it, we've got to be aware of what's there in the first place. But, if you really are stuck, thinking, "I can't flush it down the toilet. I can't throw it in the fireplace. I don't even know where to start, Victoria," here's what you need to do. You need to go ahead to victoriawhitfield.com/contact and book in for a call with me, so that we can work together, because what I do in my work every single day is hold space for people just like you to have and explore profound feelings, and I’d be honored to do that for you, too, if we are a right-fit to work together.

In order for you to get to your next level in life and business, whatever that may be, I'm hearing from my Guides to tell you that you have got to open up and release these old toxic wounds around negative vulnerability. These could be in business where you entrusted a big chunk of your marketing to someone who was supposed to help you, and it ended up costing you several times more than you invested in them. Been there, done that. Yeah, that's a wound. That's a loss, and I'll put it on me: every time I go to hire someone new, or ask for support, I have to honor that part of negative vulnerability in me now, that negative space.

Negative space is emptiness, by the way. What is negative space? It is emptiness; there is a hole that is left there in my energy, so that every time I go forward, now I have to honor that hole so that I am making a whole, with a W, a whole decision. I'm using all of my wisdom that I've won from the good times as well as from the times that I've been let down. We honor that. There's wisdom in your negative vulnerable experiences. So that's on the business side.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week: 

Know this: Use all of my wisdom that you've won from the good times as well as from the times that you've been let down. Honor and call upon your wholeness.  #empath #entrepreneur #healing @SenseiWhitfield

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Conversely, on the personal side, it’s a wound when you've trusted someone and given them your all, based a part of your identity on them and they take that trust and, whoops! They mishandle it, drop it and it breaks all over the floor, shatters your heart. Been there, done that myself, too. And so again, I'll put it back on me again - of course, this isn't about you or anyone that's watching, of course, no, it's all about me, right? I'll be vulnerable so that you don't have to, okay? ::wink:: By the way, sending so much love to whoever is watching or reading this right now. I'm choosing to be courageous so that I can walk with you through your healing. I hope that's all right. Send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield.com if that speaks to you.

So, putting it on me, as I engage and open to new relationships, again there's that negative space of ooh, you know if I lean on this person, there's that expectation, that vacuum, that hole is there. I will wonder if I trust them, are they going to shatter my identity again? Naturally, that comes up, because it happened in the past. And so I have to honor that, and be conscious and respectful of that part of me, so that I have whole, with a W, relationships instead of relationships with holes, with an H, in them. Where are you at in honoring your vulnerable side? We're invoking that this week in particular.

I'm hearing the Oracle Cards, by the way, calling in the energy to support us in honoring those spaces of negative vulnerability that are within our heart, our body and our mind. All month we're journeying with Healing with the Angels Oracle Cards Deck by Doreen Virtue, the very first Oracle Cards deck that she ever created in her career. All right, Angels, what do we need to know right now about these spaces in our mind and body of negative vulnerability? ...Interesting. Study. Right off the bat I'm hearing that this is a self-study week, like studying yourself, an inward journey. At the same time I'll take a peek and read to you.

Study. Card meaning: You are engaged in learning and study right now. Your Angels guide you to take time to read, listen and grow. This card validates that this is an important time for you to learn new ideas or skills. Perhaps you feel guided to enroll in a class and this card confirms that feeling. If you are currently attending school, the Angels ask you to continue. Sometimes when we are in a learning phase of our life, we become anxious to test our new knowledge. Instead of learning, we want to apply what we've learned. However, timing is everything, and this card guides you not to rush into action. Instead, enjoy the process of learning. The growth that accompanies an educational experience is enjoyable if we remind ourselves to stay focused on the here and now moment.

This is a beautiful place to leave off for the week. You know, when we're engaging negative vulnerability, this is a skill that has got to be cultivated, right? And how beautiful that we are entering into this as a tribe. If you need more support around the study of engaging your emotional intelligence, your empathic empowerment, and healing your relationship with your negative vulnerability please go ahead to victoriawhitfield.com/contact. Hop on my calendar so that we can get you the support that you need.

Coming up in June this year, we have the Empowered Empaths Retreat, and that is all about healing and having that sense of emotional intelligence and mastery. So go ahead and check that out at victoriawhitfield.com/empoweredempathentrepreneurs. Go there to view more information on attending that live retreat, so that we join together as a tribe supporting one another in the study of engaging emotional intelligence, and receiving the learnings and the empowerment from the negative vulnerability experiences that we've had in the past.

I'm curious. What comes up for you hearing all this? Go ahead and send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield.com if you have questions, or stories that you want to share. And by the way, subscribe on YouTube so that you get these love letters first every single week.

May you feel loved and safe, especially at work because it's half your waking life, and please: Enjoy the journey. See you soon!

Just for today...

Write in your journal about, or each out for help in opening up to, healing your relationship with your past experiences of negative vulnerability in life and business.

Become curious about the insights and wisdom for you in those dark times and feelings of emptiness.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Negative VulnerAbility – Part 2 of 5 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Welcome to a whole new series of the Love Letters, and it's a five-part series, where we will be diving deep into a discussion of vulnerability.

I call it “VulnerAbility.” VulnerAbility is about healing our relationship with vulnerability, and opening up to receiving new levels of connection, intimacy, attraction, magnetism, healing our relationship with receptivity. And this is not just receptivity to wealth, say, if that's what you are manifesting, but moreover being open to receiving new opportunities. Being receptive to receiving love, receiving visibility, and receiving support, and help.

Be kind to yourself if vulnerability is something that you are not too comfortable with. News flash: you're not alone. In this five-part series, we are going to be cultivating our togetherness around being vulnerable in a positive way. It is my intention that by the time we finish our discussion, we will have lifted the vibration around vulnerability just a little bit for you.

With that being said, this week’s topic is just introducing the idea of VulnerAbility. Webster's Dictionary defines vulnerability as “being open to attack or wound.” This an incredibly negative way to see being vulnerable. For those of us who are high achieving entrepreneurs, or those of us who are the strong one in the family, holding down everybody else when they're having vulnerable moments, the last thing that we want is to ever feel open to attack or wound.

The last thing that you want is to feel vulnerable when you're the space holder. You're the one who's leading, nurturing, protecting, guarding, and so on. To all of my empath lightworkers, healers, coaches, and consultants who are watching this right now, if that's you, and to all of my caregivers, my awesome moms, my do-it-all dads who are watching, and supporting, and providing, to my peeps who are the awesome ride-or-die best friend, to you as well, please know that this is to send love and strength to you. Please know, if only just for now, that if you are feeling vulnerable, that there is nothing wrong with you.

I'm going to repeat that. Please know, if only just for now, that if you are feeling vulnerable, open and exposed, there is nothing wrong with you. --

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Know this: If only just for now, if you are feeling vulnerable, open and exposed, know that there is nothing wrong with you. #empath #entrepreneur #healing @SenseiWhitfield

-- Are you loving The Love Letters? If so, please support our healing work with a love donation: --

With love, I want us to begin to re-write our own definition of vulnerability. Meaning the ability to be positively vulnerable, being open and exposing our hearts, our emotions, our authentic feelings, and being open to exposing the stuff that sucks, and is awful, and horrible, that enrages you. That is VulnerAbility, being able to open, being able to be courageous. Meaning coeur, the heart. Have an open heart. Let's just begin engaging and being willing to be vulnerable. VulnerAble.

I'm hearing the Oracle cards calling in the energy right now. The deck that we are going to be journeying with all month, all five weeks, is Healing With The Angels Oracle Cards deck, by Doreen Virtue. It's the very first Oracle cards deck that she ever made. Angels, what do we need to know right now about dipping our toe in to vulnerability as a strength, and as something beautiful, and empowering, and connecting? What do we need to know right now? ...Yep, I'm going to read it. Yes, I will. This is so awesome. Trust. Trust. I mean, get your tissues out. My guides are saying, "Get your tissues ready."

Card meaning: "Believe in yourself and have faith that God and the Angels are with you. Ask them to help you to lose the fears that block you from enjoying full faith. Your Angels know that you've been disappointed in the past. These experiences may have eroded your faith in yourself, other people, or even God. However, the Angels remind you of the importance of holding on to your faith. By drawing this card, the Angels emphasize the value of self-trust. They know that you, like everyone, have made mistakes in the past. However, these mistakes have not eroded your true nature. You still have omnipresent God within you, and God is infallible. The Angels ask you to trust in God, and to trust in them. They will help you trust yourself."

For those of you who are listening, who are not into the whole God thing, it's to trust in Life. Not just some higher power, but to trust that nature and life continues on, that growth continues on. I'm sitting in our sunroom here, watching at the beginning of spring, as the plants are beginning to reinvent themselves. They trust that nature will continue to reinvent and move forward. That same forward movement, that same potential for growth, and constant evolution is something that is my own birthright as well.

I invite you to feel the same. To trust in that as well. As we're engaging vulnerability, when we open up again, when we begin to dip our toe into opening up again, that means we've done it after Wham! we've shut closed like a clam shell. We're going to talk about that next week.

For now, go ahead and comment below, or send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield.com about what's coming up for you around this? Is this topic right on time? Are you scared? That's all right. I'll be scared with you, and let's walk hand in hand into this mysterious forest of vulnerability. Because being open is always better together.

I am sending you so much love. Make sure you subscribe on YouTube. Tag your friend below and be like, "Yo! Subscribe on YouTube because this one's for you” so that you get these Love Letters first every week, and I'll see you in the next one.

May you feel loved and safe, at work especially, because that's half your waking life. And please: enjoy the journey.

See you soon!

--

Just for today...

Choose to be willing to be vulnerable and open in a positive way.

Redefine vulnerability on your own terms using empowering, beautiful and positive words to describe it.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | VulnerAbility – Part 1 of 5 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Have you ever felt helpless?

And did that experience warp your ability to trust yourself and others?

Concerned that you can't tell the difference between self-care and self-sabotage because of what happened to you?

Sometimes bad things happen to good people... I know.

Yet Source wants you to know that all things can - and do - work together to form greater good in our lives.

Watch this week's 11-minute Love Letter to hear my story of overcoming a very dark time in my life and how I healed from cycles of self-sabotage to embracing a lifestyle of self-care and healing.

"I only smoke because it helps me cool off."

We're continuing the series, sourced this time around has asked to continue you and I building a deeper relationship and a deeper understanding about certain concepts that come up in our spiritual lives.

This series is going to be a five week series around the dark side of self-care. Woohoo. I'm so excited.

I am so excited to bring you to the dark side of self-care. What that basically looks like is self-sabotage.

Now this first week in particular the guides have asked me to share more of my story.

I just finished a session with a new client. I'm so excited for her. It's amazing what inspires people to begin their healing journey. She's beginning a new six month healing journey, Sojourner healing journey, which means she's coming in for an hour, a private hour a month for me. She also gets unlimited meditation classes here at the dojo.

It's so interesting to hear people's stories of what inspires them to begin to heal. What motivates you to really begin healing.

It was just fascinating sharing with her some of my story of what caused me to get into all of this in the first place.

Believe it or not, it comes from actually my pain.

Simon Sinek, very beautifully says that your big why comes from your pain more often than not.

For me, it was a series of three breakups that caused me to break open. The first one was someone that I thought I was going to be with. The whole soulmate situation that you think you have and then turns out sleeping with your coworker and calls you on your wedding day to ask how are you? One.

Two, the next one broke me open again because of the color of my skin. He had decided that we couldn't be together because of the color of my skin. That also compounded my perspective.

Then unfortunately the third one that really broke me open was when I got date raped. Yes, I'm sharing that with you.

No, I'm not happy about what happened to me. I honor the fact that these were the events that grabbed my attention that something is not quite right.

Now maybe you grew up with a history of abuse or maybe you grew up with alcoholic parents or that sort of a thing.

Something happened in our lives that forced us to take a stand and say, "Wait a minute. I don't like this. I don't like this." Right?

It's those moments where you put your foot down and say, "No more. I'm not going to be beaten anymore" or, "I'm not going to select people who would do these kinds of things to me anymore."

One of my first spiritual teachers her question to me, that changed my life, was: "what is the pattern in you that's creating this situation?"

This is where we get into our five week deep dive around self-sabotage.

When I look back into those dark times in my life where I would have suicidal thoughts and would be sleeping at around 22 hours a day, only getting up to go to the bathroom and have a sip of water, trying to escape, escape, escape there were things that I was doing to self-soothe that within my compressed mindset I thought were good for me.

When you have a compressed, like as in a really limited mindset, bad stuff you can't really tell that that's bad for you.

Some of the ways that I used to self-soothe but actually turned out being self-sabotage ... Well, one it was the constant sleeping. Also, I used to chain-smoke Clove cigarettes, the black ones. Like talk about breathing death. Emotional stuffing. I used to live on Twix and Chex-Mix and nothing else except for Captain Morgan's spiced rum and Malibu coconut rum. I remember. I'm so happy that I'm sober now.

There's these things that, "I'll just have a drink so that I can soothe" or escape, get rid of this negativity, or, "Let me go have a smoke. Let me cool off." Or, "Let me just check out." There's so many things that we do to soothe ourselves that within a limited and a compressed point of view feel pleasurable and we interpret them as good even though they're working against us.

Now there was also another form of self-sabotage I would do at the time. I would work around 12 hours or so a day at a really, really toxic job. Like screaming bosses that were financial abusers as in dangling your pay check over your head in order to get you to do things that are completely outside of your principles.

Be kind to yourself if as I invoke the darker side of my story that this is resonating for you like, "Ooh, ooh, I still do some of that, Victoria" ... This is not to say like, "I'm good and you're bad." No.

I want you to know that I've been through some things and when I'm going to talk to you over the next few weeks around self-sabotage versus self-care there's some history there. I'm only tapping on the tip of the iceberg here with respect to your energy.

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Know this: Be kind to yourself. What motivates great healing is usually great pain.

Are you loving The Love Letters? If so, please support our healing work with a love donation:

--
My story is my story and it's made me who I am. Here's the light in the darkness is that when you start self-soothing you can choose to raise the vibration of the forms of self-soothing that you do.

For example, I remember even when I was still chain-smoking I started learning more about crystals and oracle cards. "Well, you know, maybe this will help me feel better." It was something positive about these cards or I feel the energy when I'm holding this crystal. I don't know what the heck it is. I'm going to get into that in the next few weeks.

That was the turning point. It was following things that brought me joy and uplifted me in the self-soothing cycle. It's natural.

I want you to know this and watch this in yourself this week.

Watch the way that you soothe yourself, whether it's positive or negative. Just notice how do you soothe yourself when you're feeling bored, when you're feeling depressed, empty, anxious, angry, unacknowledged, lonely, et cetera. How do you soothe yourself? It is positive things? Or negative?

Most of us have a mixture of both. By the way, at the filming of this video I still have some not so good things, such as eating chocolate and ice cream, that is harmful against my body. As well as doing hours of meditation, grounding out in nature, doing reiki. I have a mixture.

This is called being human. I want us to have a deep dive now for the next five weeks around honoring that self-care versus self-sabotage dance that we're all doing.

I know that you're doing it. If you clicked play on this video chances are you're a natural empath. You're already sensitive to the energy and trying to figure out how to cope with all this energetic overload. We're going to confront this head-on.

We're going to dive deep together. I can't wait to see you next week and hear what you think.

Comment below. Tell me what's coming up for you around this.

Do you have a story that you wanted to share, by the way? Did my story bring up some of yours? I would love to witness you in sharing your story, privately, just to honor you. We don't want to post all that out in social media and all over the place.

Send me an email back and let me know and I'd be happy to set up a share your story call so that we can hold space for you speaking your truth for the first time.

I know it's tough. I feel you but we're going to get through this together.

Are you ready for this? Five weeks. Five weeks. Let's do this. Self-care versus self-sabotage. Going to the dark side. Whoop, whoop. Shining light so that we can all grow together. I'm sending you so much love and I'll see you next week. Bye.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Watch the way that you soothe yourself.

Track what you do to soothe negative feelings, to observe if it’s positive self-care or negative self-sabotage behavior..

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

-

Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business.

Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Self Care vs. Self Sabotage – Part 1 of 5 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

This is week three of four in our exploration of sales, the emotional relationship that we have with sales, and healing that relationship.

If you're seeing this just as the first one make sure you pause, go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com and start from part one so that you are grounded in this process.

Without further ado, for week three of four, we're going to be talking about Soulful Sales. Last week, we talked about the scars and shame that people have thrown on us trying to sell us into doing some things that are not in our best interest, as well as the scars and the shame that we have venturing out sharing and speaking: sharing our gifts, sharing our love, sharing our passion to others for maybe the first time. Or in the past, we've had some really burning experiences. Be kind to yourself if that's you, alright?

What my guides are calling for this week in particular is that we raise the vibration of our relationship with sales, wealth, and abundance. Whether you have a business of your own and you've got to turn up the volume on sales so that you can best serve the people that you're called to, or if you don't own a business but you work for a company and you are promoting their work and selling vendors on buying and supporting the company, or selling their clients and prospects into working with that company and bringing people in, raise your vibration.

Even if you aren't doing sales for professionally per se, but in your own personal life, you're advocating for a cause that you sincerely believe in – such as your nonprofit or charity that you feel called to be a part of and see supported – stepping into sales in a soulful way is absolutely necessary. It's such an important skill in life for every single person to anchor into so that we do this with dignity and with respect for ourselves and our value, as well as respect for the other person and their journey.

Let's start there, by the way. How do we start engaging in soulful sales? Well, I would personally point out that that word “soulful” is key – and I’d say that the point where spirituality and sensuality connect is soulful. What does soulful mean? That is the point that spirituality and sensuality connect.

On the spiritual side, that has to do with our values and vision, our ethics, philosophies, beliefs and faith. Spirituality also has to do with causal reality, the above-the-physical, meaning, not just what's here, but what's creating what's here. That's what I would say is spiritual: the spiritual side of things.

And then sensuality. In previous videos, I mentioned that Aristotle tells us we have sight, sound, taste, touch and smell as our five senses, but most experts now agree that we actually have a minimum of 16, and then somewhere around 23 active senses such as magnetoception (that feeling of magnetism when you hold two strong magnets pointing at each other) or thermoception – which causes you to say, "Oh, my god. It's cold in here," because it’s the ability to sense temperature. These senses are just a few beyond sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.

Sensuality is about making things concrete or physical, and understanding how physical reality connects with our feelings. Where the two – spirituality and sensuality – connect though, is soulfulness. Soulfulness has a feeling. I love how in the book Iron John (and by the way, if you have not read it yet, stop everything and read it now! Or I just might have to read it to you. Ha! Stay on the lookout for that.), Robert Bly says, "Soul is something low and wet." Low and wet. Yes!

When we think of Spirit, it feels like something that is high and crisp and clear, or in the clouds. The Spirit is something uplifted. Feeling spirited is energizing, whereas soul, Baby, is low and wet. This is something that you can feel, something that “sticks to your ribs” as they say in the south, like when we're talking about soul food.

When we're becoming more soulful in the way that we approach sales, we are engaging that vision, that inspiration, that high-level view of Spirit, but then marrying it with being sensual – otherwise known as being grounded. Some of the worst scars that I have received from being sold by someone was from the slimy salesman type: someone who has terrible values, and they're like, "I'm just here to make a dollar. Doesn't matter what you think. This car's kind of broken, but I don't care. You have money. Go buy it." It’s someone who has terrible values (Spirit), and then who's also physically ungrounded (Soul). This can go two ways.

I know that you are thinking of a car salesman with me who has done this to you, and shout-out to my amazing car Angel, who has connected me in the most soulful and respectful way with cars that I love. Hi, Chris, sending lots of love to you and your family. Thank you so much, Chris Campbell for that.

The soulful side is powerful, but in the wrong hands it can be used to manipulate your sensuality. And when someone’s ungrounded and pushy, they're usually not at all allowing you to have an authentic, independent sensual experience of, "Oh, I want a moment to see, take in the color and the feel of this car," for example.

I want to have my own sensual experience: my sight, sound, taste, touch, smell experience of bonding, because buying is a sensual experience. It's for feeling of it. You gotta make people feel a certain way in order for them to buy. You've gotta feel a certain way in order to buy. For me, my core desired feeling when it comes to sales is safe. I always desire to feel safe. My second-high core desired feeling is loved, and it's a distinct sensation I feel.--

Click to share the Tweet of the Week: 

Know this: You’ve got to make people feel a certain way in order for them to buy. And when you aim to make people feel as safe and loved as possible, sales becomes a soulful, healing experience. #entrepreneur #sales #abundance @SenseiWhitfield

But when someone is ungrounded, they’re impatient with this sacred feeling process: it's either now, or they won't even let you bond with the thing. They're hurried, saying, "No, look, and then we have this, and then this, and then this, and then this." But the “this” is not at all what I'm interested in.

Or, oh, this is even creepier, where they'll go the other end of the spectrum on the sensual side and attack you. For example, you ever been at Lord + Taylor and they spray you with the perfume, and you're like, "Oh my god, no!" And they're like, "Don't you want to buy it? Isn’t it amazing!?” trying to seduce you with sensory overload and persuasion. Or with cars they say, "Come in and get a look at this car. Isn't this car amazing? It's red. It's so you. This is you," while pushing you to touch it – that is the sort of a tactic where they are forcing your sensual bonding.

The sensual aspect of sales is very powerful, and in the wrong hands, it can actually be so scarring and overwhelming. In order for us to come to a space with soulful sales, we want to balance that out, where we can respect the person's sensual experience, their own point of view, while also showing them the vision of what's possible. It's a vision that is going to help them. That's where it becomes soulful: where you tune into your natural intuition, right now, and say, "This thing could really help them if they could just see the vision of how it can."

Soulful sales bridges the gap between someone in need of something, and being connected to the thing that's going to get them where they’re going. Be kind to yourself if this is new or uncomfortable for you to hear. I want us to have this conversation, but it involves turning on your natural intuition now. How do you do that? Well, for one, get my book Natural Intuition Now on Amazon, read it and do the exercises. That's helpful. It's on two-day ship, Prime, and Boom! It'll be right in your mailbox, or you can purchase my Understanding Energy online course, and you'll get the ebook and the audiobook copy, boom, right then and there instantly into your email inbox so you don't even have to wait two days for the physical book to come in the mail.

We're going to continue this conversation next week, but I want to begin invoking this concept of soulful sales so that we can heal our relationship with this wonderful, powerful tool for healing: sales. Sales is a powerful healing tool.

I hear the Oracle Cards calling in the energy. Angels of Abundance oracle cards deck is who we are journeying with all month, by Doreen Virtue and Grant Virtue, her son. Angels of Abundance, what do we need to know right now about opening up to this concept of soulful sales? ...I love it. They always see the different angles. I love this.
Clean-Energy Food. Check this out. "When you fuel your body with a healthful, organic diet, you increase your energy levels and ability to focus. This automatically leads to more efficiency, better ideas, and a higher vibration, which attracts golden opportunities and beneficial relationships." Here's where we're going to leave off for the week.

If you are putting crap, low-vibrational crusty crap non-food items into your body, and calling that nutrition, what that does is that starts to form a film over your natural intuition so it gets harder and harder for you to tune in clearly to sources of alignment within you so that you can see what the right next-step is. When you clear yourself, you clear the way to hearing your inner guidance. On top of that, you start to attract others, other clear people and opportunities, into your life.

The cleaner that you live, the higher you vibrate, and the more you attract that like-vibration. So for the people who do need what you are offering, and who get your life's purpose and who are excited and honored to get to support you as well as participate in the expansion with you professionally, they get naturally attracted into your life. They get naturally attracted into your reality the more that you raise your vibration first.

Soulful sales is not just – and I appreciate the fact that the angels are saying this – soulful sales doesn't start with doing the technique. It actually starts with who you are being right now and where your vibrational level is.

Send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield.com. Let me know what comes up for you around this. Make sure you subscribe on YouTube so that you get these Love Letters first every week. I'll see you in the next one. Muah.

May you feel loved and safe at work, and please: Enjoy the Journey.

Bye for now!
--

Just for today...

Focus on raising your personal vibration so that you are being a clear, clean channel for Spirit to come through.

Observe how your ability to trust and hear intuition and innate emotional intelligence improves the more you detox your physical body, surroundings and even your relationships.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Soulful Sales – Part 3 of 4 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

This is week two of four in our exploration of money as spiritual, money as good, being open to, loving and healing our relationship to money.

Be kind to yourself, if this is your first video please hit stop, go back on my blog at VictoriaWhitfield.com so that you start from the very first part of our series so that you're grounded in this process.

Without further ado, this week in particular my guides are saying that we've got to talk about sales shame and scars. Sales shame, and scars. Now, this comes up all the time with my clients. Doesn't matter if it's someone who I've met while on the road or networking or for the first time or if it's one of my clients who's been with me for the last, gosh, six, seven years straight. We all, myself included, have a sense of sales shame and sales scars.

Now I remember hearing at a speech by Myron Golden where he said that by the time a child turns 18 years old, in the media the child has seen over 10,000 business owners killed on TV, online, and in the news. His point was that in that figure right there we see a systemic epidemic of putting down salespeople, of demonizing business owners, entrepreneurs, and people who are out there making money. There's a strategic demonization of that.

Our minds and our hearts become scarred seeing all of this. That figure really shocked me, but it makes sense because how many times do we – wait, I'll put it on me. I personally have been to so many sales presentations. I've walked in hoping someone would sell me what they're selling, legitimately excited to buy, and I've also walked in having made a commitment to myself, “I swear to God, if this person tries to sell me, I'm walking out.” Sound familiar?

I even have equated bad sales with unwanted touching, like being physically attacked. In my opinion, it is a mental rape when done horribly wrong. By the way, comment below, send me an email back at Team@VictoriaWhitfield.com if that's you, where you're finding yourself bracing when somebody's trying to sell you, as if you're about to get attacked mentally, emotionally, financially, and even spiritually by someone. Here's the thing, we have scars. We have scars because some people in the past, for all intents and purposes, used this powerful tool to, unfortunately, cut into our energy.

These are soul scars that we carry along the way and it's doubly bad for those of us who are entrepreneurs and business owners because part of the way that ... actually the only way that we're able to share our gifts at the level that we've been called to by God, by Source, is to sell - which means to serve. We've got to make the offer to invite people to work with us. If you sincerely are doing something that's going to help somebody, it's your divine duty to invite them to work with you. You shouldn't be ashamed of it.

But here we go with carrying our soul scars around sales. The feeling of having been - and I'm going to go there, and I'm going to repeat it just as I said without limiting myself - mentally and emotionally and even spiritually, financially raped. Mentally “raped” or attacked or scarred by someone whose done sales on us; this unwanted touching, mentally and energetically. Be kind to yourself if that has been your experience before, and you got totally taken advantage of. If that happened to you, from my heart to yours, I am so sorry. It's terrifying. You work so hard for your money, and then someone turns on your emotions and then leads you down a path that is unfortunately destructive to you.

It's heartbreaking when that happens, and because of our soul scars around sales, then we carry the shame, the shame, the shame – which hides the secret rage. This is especially prevalent in the holistic healing community, amongst life coaches, business coaches, marketing coaches, amongst reiki masters, massage therapists, naturopathic doctors, osteopaths. I'm just going through all the different clients that I've had in my head who’ve had this sales shame: my goodness, bookkeepers, everyone who's loving and kind and really sincerely wanting to help people.

There's this haunting shame that comes for all of us when it’s time to share our gifts... Where you start thinking, “what if they're going to tell me they can't afford it? What do I do? I don't want to make people spend money, I feel bad.” Or, “who's going to pay for that? Maybe I shouldn't be charging so much. I should really even be doing this for free. Who gets paid to listen to their intuition and who gets paid to listen to people?” By the way - you're looking at and reading a blog someone who does, and I get paid well because I do tremendous work. I give massive, massive value, and I am grateful that my life’s purpose fully supports me.

Gosh, it is such a gift. And I pay good money for this spiritual and personal development stuff as well, for people to do energy work on me and to help me hear my intuition better and also to hear myself better. Absolutely. I pay five figures a year and I've paid out in total six figures now over the last few years to ensure that I am fully self-actualized. You absolutely should be charging for that, whatever you're healing gift is, but there's this haunting, persistent shame that we are carrying around charging. I'm hearing the word “why”, and the reason why we carry that shame is because we have the mistaken thought that we are protecting other people by not sharing our services with them.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week:

Know this: The reason why you're not selling is because you have a mistaken thought that you are protecting these people by not sharing your services, whatever that may be. #healing #entrepreneur #sales #abundance @SenseiWhitfield

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Maybe you don't have your own business yet, but you're working at a company or working for a nonprofit that you sincerely believe in, that you absolutely love, and you're rooting for. You see the good that they do in the world, and then you see someone who could really benefit from the service or from donating to this gorgeous, fabulous, charitable cause.

Then here comes the shame of: “but I can't tell them because they're going to have to spend money,” or “I can't ask for the donation, I should be ashamed of myself, asking for this person’s money.” No, you shouldn't! No, you shouldn't! Don't should on yourself, please, if you have something powerful and healing to share with the world, if you have more love that you can pour into this world by sharing your product or service, please, please DO.

If I'm the only person who gets to tell you this, please believe in yourself, please believe that sales is service. Don't let your shame or your mistaken thinking that you are protecting people from spending money keep you from shining bright. We're in a dark world and we need your light, but in order for some of us to turn on, we have got to learn how to invest in ourselves.

I know for me, my life changed when I started to invest in myself. Personally, I am completely unrecognizable - go ahead on my Facebook and ask some of my friends who first became my friends when Facebook first came out, "Do you recognize Victoria now? Is she like she was 15, 20, 25 years ago?" They're like, "Nope, she's completely different” and some may even add “but she's more of herself than she's ever been." It's because I learned how to invest in myself by being open to receiving sales.

Now, this also has to do with discernment, and the more you cultivate your emotional capital - meaning your ability to value how you feel, and accrue good feeling, generate good feeling - the more you will cultivate your discernment, so that you don't have to be afraid of people selling you, and you don't have to be afraid of sharing your service with people who are desperately seeking it.

The only reason why you're carrying around that sales shame is actually because you haven't cultivated enough of your emotional capital. Pour into your positive feeling emotions, pour into that on a daily basis, that's the first thing I do every single day, and I've been doing it for 11 years straight, is to pour positive feeling, good feeling, raise my vibration, get into the vortex, shift my state, change my mind, raise my standards, put my mindset at the same level of the Universe to make sure that I am seeing with clear eyes. I’ve cultivated my discernment, my emotional capital, ceaselessly.

I'm hearing the oracle cards screaming in the air, "Oh my God, Victoria, hurry up and pull us." Okay, lol! Let me just stuff them back in this box because I was just sifting through them... This is the Angels of Abundance oracle cards deck by Doreen Virtue and her son, Grant Virtue, if you want to pick it up yourself. Okay. Angels of Abundance, what do we need to know right now? About, gosh, our sales shame, our sales scars. - I love this: Bountiful Nature. This is where we're going to leave off for the week.

Bountiful Nature. Spending time in nature helps shift you to a higher vibration and reminds you of God’s infinite abundance. Go outside and enjoy a walk or hike with your pet, meditate beneath a tree, garden, sit under the stars, or do some other activity to connect with the limitless vastness.

This is so beautiful, this is a perfect ending point.

A lot of our fear and shame around selling, as well as being sold, is that there's not enough to go around. There's not enough even if you're selling something amazing or you're being sold on exactly what you need. That fear comes up that there's not enough to go around. Please let nature affirm you in that there is no limit to the amount of wealth, and abundance, and resource supporting you now, right now, in this moment.

Nature is a gorgeous example of interconnection and agreement, of constant inflow and outflow, inhale and exhale. Let that remind you of what true wealth and abundance looks like. Allow it to soothe your emotions so that you can raise your emotional vibration and increase your emotional capital.

All right, this is it, Bountiful Nature. Go outside, breath it in and receive. Okay. Send me an email back at Team@VictoriaWhitfield.com or comment below. Make sure you subscribe on YouTube so that you get these Love Letters first every week, and I'll see on the next one.

May you feel loved and safe at work, and please: Enjoy the journey!

Bye for now. --

Just for today...

Believe in yourself and believe that sales is service.

Take a deep breath in, and connect to your divine purpose, and then open your heart and mouth and share your healing work for the good of all involved.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Sales Scars and Shame – Part 2 of 4 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

This is week four of four of our exploration of stopping faking it. You do not have to fake it to make it anymore.

We've been diving deep into that concept. However, if this is the first one in the series that you are seeing, make sure you hit pause, and go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com, click on part one and start there so that you're grounded in this clearing process. Without further ado, this week in particular, we are talking about allowing diversity.

Now, when we're talking about stopping faking it until you make it, there's an undercurrent of emotion flowing underneath it, where we are trying to make everything perfect. There's a palpable undercurrent, and that undercurrent is fueled by a lack of acceptance for diversity, of things being different. There's a lack of acceptance for imperfection, for things going a different way than expected, for multiple viewpoints and new and different, or old and different, points of view. Be kind to yourself if you're driven to perfection because you're driven to uniformity, or to make sure everything is balanced and set ...or else.

With love, that's a traumatized mindset, where everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be fine. We have to look fine. All of our Facebook Livestreams have to be perfect and look fine. All of the marketing materials in the business have to be perfect and look fine in order for anything to happen, or else. It’s insidious. It’s infectious.

Your speech has to be absolutely perfect in order for it to be effective. Your weight has to be absolutely perfect in order for you to be loved or to be seen. Your hair has to be absolutely perfect - according to some external force that says this is what perfect hair is - in order for you to be taken seriously. Only just for today, as we say in reiki, no more, just for today. No more of that traumatized mindset.

What helps us to stop faking it is allowing for diversity. When someone comes early or comes a little bit later, allow for the diversity and say, "How can we acknowledge this situation?" and then weave it in. Integrate it in. If your partner is seeing a completely different point of view, how can we allow our partner to have a different point of view, and still have a two-way conversation as two brilliant beings? Do we have to win, win, win every single argument - or every single discussion, even if we're not arguing? Do we have to win, win, win in order to feel heard or to feel safe, or to feel served?

Allowing feels different than winning. As I’m recording the video for this blog, there’s powerful lightning going on in the background. I'm leaving that lightning in, by the way, because it was gorgeous, and it's just another example of allowing diversity. We're not faking it. I'm not faking it in here. I'm listening to what my spirit guide are telling me and relaying it to you, aka, channeling. The same way that the rain gutters are doing their best that they can here in the dojo to channel the water away from the roof, away from the house. That way, it's protecting as well as continuing this beautiful cycle of flow and nourishment.

Be kind to yourself if you've been feeling blocked and stuck or undernourished in your body, your mind, your heart, your business or your spirit lately. Be kind to yourself if you've been feeling that blocked or stuck feeling. It's because we're not allowing for diversity. This also involves accepting others as they are. This comes up a lot with love and relationship issues in my private sessions with clients who are, as we discussed in our previous weeks, people who orient to clarity. My clients are very conscious, awakening, evolving souls. You come home, and your family is like, "We're just trying to relax and chill," while you’re gushing about your aha-moments and breakthroughs and how things need to change. ::take a deep breath in... exhale...:: Here's the thing. Allow for the diversity. Allow for the diversity.

It doesn't mean you approve or condone bad behavior, or people overstepping your boundaries, per se. Be kind to yourself in that respect, and at the same time, allow people who are orienting to comfort to just be as they are. The big, big, big source of suffering in our tribe of conscious, driven, high-vibrational individuals is not allowing people who genuinely just want to be comfortable to just be where they are at. Just let them be.

Because coaching is addictive, we tend to come in guns blazing: “I'm going to coach you! RAWRRR! I'm going to coach you! I'm going to transform your life!” Lol... umm. That's cool. You don't have to transform everyone all the time, ok? If someone doesn't want it, they don't want it. Let them go. If someone doesn't get it, they don't get it, ok? Relax.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week:

Know this: Be kind to yourself if you've been feeling that blocked or stuck feeling. It can be there because we're not allowing for diversity. This also involves our level of ability to accept others as they are... or not. #positivevibes #mindset #womeninbusiness @SenseiWhitfield

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Molding your children is a give and take. This is something that, especially when you're trying to be the best guardian for your children that you've manifested in this lifetime, it’s a give and take: on one hand, you can't just let them roam free. We're guarding them and making sure that they know that they're safe because someone's watching them. And at the same time, if they see the world differently than you do, allow the diversity. As a parent, be kind to yourself and allow their diversity, their point of view, within your sacred container of safety for them.

Here’s the mindset of assertiveness and allowing that my guides are offering to parents. Within these four walls, when I pay the bills for this, when I cook the food for you, and I wash your clothes, you honor this sacred container I created for you. I take care of you, I birthed you, I love you, and you're fully yourself, within these certain sacred parameters. You still have a mind of your own, and at the same time, you get to honor the fact that you're being taken care of, protected and guided with deep unconditional love. Allowing diversity is a special case with kids. I understand that. I honor that and respect that.

However in your career, alternatively, when you have teen members who see things differently from you, don't throw them to the side too fast. Allow them to have your back, ok? Imagine I'm standing back-to-back with another person. If I face this way, I can't see what they're seeing. Does that that if they look the other way that they're wrong for what they're seeing? No. Not necessarily; we are just standing back to back, looking at different sides of the same thing, with different eyes.

In fact, they actually have my back. That's the greatest gift of having a diverse team with diverse points of view. Allow it, so that they can have your back and watch out for things that may be in your blind spot. Allowing diversity doesn't have to be perfect. It does, however, need to be conscious. This is where we've got to turn up the volume on our communication arm, leaning into uncomfortable yet productive and loving conversations.

Loving to yourself, being loving to the person you're having the conversation with, and being loving to the entire tribe that the two of you are a part of or supporting or building. Lean into those loving conversations because they allow diversity and diversity is power. The fairies are calling in the energy, by the way - Healing with the Fairies: Oracle Cards deck is who we've been journeying with all month for this series around stopping faking it. You literally can just stop. Just let it go, if only just for today, as we say in reiki. Only just for today, let go of faking it.

Fairies, what do we need to know right now about allowing diversity? ...This is a good thing to add. I'm grateful for it. Creative Expression. And here's where we're going to leave off for today, and for this series. When we're stopping faking it until we make it, when we're stopping pretending and starting to allow different points of view, allow imperfection, allow being natural or being ourselves, there emerges a beauty in diversity. There's an incredible beauty in diversity, and it is creative expression. You get to see how marvelous and awesome it is to have so many different points of view and have so many different experiences. Variety is the spice of life, right?

This tree behind me, for example, and all the other ones with it too, are gorgeous because it's unique expression. It's natural. It's not perfect. It is perfectly imperfect, and it is a part of creation. Right? Well, guess what? That's a tree. If a tree is allowed to be unique and expressive and imperfect and still be gorgeous and healing and beautiful and precious, so are you. I mean it sounds like a bit much, but as we're stopping faking it, can we at least give ourselves the same permission that we give to freaking trees to just be natural and to be magnificent at the same time?

What's coming up for you around this? What are you creating now that we're walking this path together as journey partners to releasing faking it, and stepping into an authentic life and business? I'm curious. Go ahead. Comment below or send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield. Tell me your story.

Perhaps you need help tapping into your creative expression - that flow for you, maybe it's blocked right now. If you just can't see your own perfectly imperfect natural beauty and magnificence, please go to naturalintuition.com. Hop on my calendar by clicking that Contact button, and let's talk about working together so I can support you as your journey partner, okay?

I'm sending you so much love. Do not lose that glow as you're growing in life, in business. Enjoy the journey. I'll see you in the next Love Letter video. Bye for now. --

Just for today...

See the beauty and power in diversity: differing backgrounds, ages, points of view and ideas.

When things don’t go as expected, remember to say to yourself “variety is the spice of life,” and allow the unexpected to create something new, different and magnificent.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Allowing Diversity – Part 4 of 4 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

This is week three of four in our exploration of stopping faking it. It's time; #StopThat.

If you haven't seen the first two parts, by the way, hit pause, go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com and click on part one. Start there so that you are grounded in this clearing process that we're going through together.

The topic of this week's Love Letter is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance. If we are going to stop faking it ‘til we make it, and if we are going to let go of being perfect - or let go fighting because we think we're not good enough - if we're going to let go of that fight and put our weapons down to surrender in that fight - I get the chills as I say that for you, sending you so much love around having the courage to put down your weapons and stop fighting to be good enough - if we're going to do that, that means we've got to learn how to practice self-acceptance. Self-acceptance!? What the heck does that mean, Victoria? Does it even exist?

Self-acceptance is, for one - my guides are telling me to tell you this - for one, it is not a single event. Self-acceptance is not like a, “ta-da, I accept myself and then I'm done” sort of single event. No, no, no. Self-acceptance is an ongoing series of choices, observations, and celebrations over and over and over again. And it’s celebrations not only of the good stuff, but also celebrating, “you know what? This about me kind of sucks. Yay. I don't have to have it all figured out.” I'm going to be kind to myself because I accept that I have limitations. There are things that I don't know. There are, in fact, things that I don't know that I don't know. There are things that I don't like.

Believe it or not, there are emotions that I have where I can be mad from time to time, or sad, and I celebrate the dark side to me: the preferences, and the point of view that I have as a unique human being. I do not have to be the way that someone may have told me that I have to be. Repeat: I do not have to be the way that someone told me that I have to be. Instead, I accept myself as I am. Over and over and over again - especially when it's hard to, especially when I don't like myself - this is when I need to celebrate my shortcomings even more.

Now, for those of you who've been following my work or who've known me for quite some time now, you know that my automatic setting right now is Auto Clap, lol, it’s like I'm just on Auto Celebrate. And this behavior is something that I didn't used to have as a person. I used to be pretty gloomy, I had a really, really dark personality earlier in life, but I trained myself over time to look for things to celebrate in all situations.

What that did is it made me emotionally stronger and stronger with time. It helped open my eyes to the good. There's so much good. Even in the darkest things that have ever happened in my life, there has been so much good because I'm set to celebrate, and that setting is an act of self-acceptance that I have been engaging in - that I've been deciding to engage in - over and over and over and over again.

On the other hand, what is also a learned behavior is self-rejection. Be kind to yourself if you are the Queen of self-rejection or the King of denying yourself. Be kind to yourself if you're really, really good at booing yourself before anybody else can, making sure that you put yourself down before anybody else can. Sometimes we learn that as a coping mechanism for growing up and coming up in an abusive environment, so that you can, in a twisted way, empower yourself by hurting yourself first to cut people off at the pass. That behavior, you don't need it anymore. I give you permission, if only just for now to let that go once and for all.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week:

Know this: Sometimes we learn that, as a coping mechanism for living and working in an abusive environment, to fake empower yourself by putting yourself down first to cut others off at the pass. That behavior, you don't need it anymore.  #stopthat #mindset #respect @SenseiWhitfield

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Hey, hey, hold on a sec - you're watching or reading this on a device, right? I'm inside some screen somewhere as you're watching or reading this, so that means we are having a very, very private moment, you and I. No one else can hear or see me like you can right now. So, I want you to know in the bottom of your soul: you don't have to do that twisted stuff anymore to yourself. Today's the day. I know you wouldn’t admit that openly. That’s fine. But if you're watching or reading this, in this very moment, Spirit brought you here, so right now please know you have permission to just let that go completely. You have no more need to beat yourself up at all.

Self-acceptance is what you're called to, and it takes just as much energy as self-rejection. If you were to count how many times a day you put yourself down, sooner or later you'd realize there's a pattern behind that, and that pattern is a learned skill. The opposite is true, right? How many times you celebrate yourself in a day, that's a pattern, too. That is a learned skill, too. That's something that you can build, a muscle that you can grow over time.

So, if only just for today, please know that the name of the game is self-acceptance: to find something at all times - whether it is good or bad - about yourself, as you are, to celebrate, to accept, and to just observe. Doesn't mean you necessarily right out the gate approve of everything. Hey, I’m right there with you. We are human. And at the same time, we are human beings: being willing to celebrate it, being willing to observe it, being willing to see it rather than just stuffing, stuffing, stuffing, stuffing down.

I'm hearing the oracle cards calling in the energy around that. Healing with the Angels by Doreen Virtue is the deck that we're journeying with all month. Let me ask the fairies. Wait... I said Healing with the Angels? ... autopilot. Oops! It’s Healing with the Fairies oracle cards deck! LOL! I bet you didn't know the difference, though, did you? Ha ha. Maybe you did. I’m so leaving that perfectly imperfect mess up in! I love it... Okay, fairies, what do we need to know about self-acceptance right now? Oh my goddess. Yay, I love this card! Breaking Free. And that's you. Breaking Free - and the fairy on the card is out in the outer realms, arms spread wide, wings all the way up and just flying high, breaking free from everything.

Here's the message from the fairies: you are breaking free in to a new level of self-acceptance, maybe for the first time. Your ability to, as you can, find something to celebrate, find something about yourself to observe and to accept and just see – this is breaking you free. You don't even have to do anything about it. Just observe it. This is you breaking free from the chains that have been holding you down - maybe in life, maybe in your business. One chain at a time, you’re breaking free, breaking free, breaking free. You can do it! You’re doing it!

This is an affirmation from source that you're on the right path. Keep going. And know you’re not alone - I'm your traveling partner, Sensei Victoria Whitfield – on your ascension path in life and business. Make sure that you subscribe on YouTube so that you get these Love Letters first every week. Let’s keep journeying together.

Hit that share button, by the way, if there's someone that you love and care about who you believe it's time for them to break free, too, send this letter their way. Maybe this might just bless and change their day. And remember to please enjoy the journey. Make sure that you do not lose your glow as you grow in life and business.

I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now! --

Just for today...

Celebrate the good and the bad about yourself today, in an act of radical self-acceptance and healing.

Honor and appreciate your strengths as well as your weaknesses, acknowledge and announce what you know that you know, as well as what you genuinely don’t know, shame-free.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

The post Love Letters | Self Acceptance – Part 3 of 4 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.