What are the symptoms of turning into a techno-zombie?

Have you Become One with your Netflix and DVR accounts?

Bit by the Email Timesuck Vampire AGAIN? There goes another three hours!

FOMO or Fear of Missing Out has driven us as empathy and as entrepreneurs to be literally attached at the hip to our cellphones and other tech at all times.

And as technology continues to innovate, it's getting harder and harder to tell the difference between being productive and being distracted by it.

Watch this week's 14-minute love letter video for the third installment of our 5-week deep dive into self-care versus self-sabotage, and start healing your relationship with technology.

"I carry my phone everywhere."

We are on week three of five in our deep dive into the dance that we empaths do, between self-care and self-sabotage, right? Dancing that fine line like a boss, or not.

Kind of like a slave, right? If we're really looking at what are our addictions? How are we soothing ourselves versus actually caring for ourselves, right?

Last week, we talked about food, right? And emotional stuffing, how we use food to stuff our feelings, our empathic overwhelm down, so be kind to yourself if that's you, or if you haven't seen that, go ahead and go back in the playlist on YouTube, or back on the earlier blog post on victoriawhitfield.com. You'll see it there.

This week, this is a bit of like a meta-analysis, right? It's the analysis of the actual thing that's happening right now, is technology.

Social media and technology! It's so good, right?

How are we doing self-care versus self-sabotage, with all this technology stuff all over us, right? How impersonal does this feel, by the way, now that you can see my phone as I'm talking to you? Like, it's changed the whole look.

I'm not acting any differently, but now that I'm looking at or having my phone on camera, that feels different talking to you, versus you having my full attention. Hmm. So this is something that we have got to talk about, because you and I are looking at each other thanks to technology right now, right?

Current research says cell phone users touch their phone - they don't even really use it, they just touch it - between 2,500 and 5,500 times per day, spending an average of two to five hours within the screen, and this is just the phone, right?

I didn't even look at TV, or look at computer, laptop, or billboards, and GPS, and all the technology, and then other people's phones, and TVs, and laptops, and computers, and yada yada yada, the list goes on.

It's total technological immersion that we've got going on right now, and yes, it's connectivity, but there's a difference between connecting and feeling connected, right?

So with our phones, and all of these screens that we have around us, there is an emotional need that we are fulfilling, so this week in particular, my guides are bringing forward the Erickson, who came up with the six human needs?

So everybody has basic, human needs, right? That have got to be fulfilled in order for us to feel safe, happy, and fulfilled in life.

Even just normal, right, filling our needs is necessary for satisfying our baseline as human beings. It's just natural, and the six human needs are certainty, right? To know things that are going to be the same.

You know what the outcome is going to be. You know what to expect, right? Certainty. "I'm certain." Also, then, uncertainty. So, to know things are going to be spicy, and interesting, and we'll have adventures, and spontaneity, and diversity, right? Uncertainty.

Next is connection and love, so those two are kind of grouped together, but this is to feel connected to those around us, feel connected to something outside of ourselves, right? To be involved, to be in relationship of some sort. It doesn't even have to be with a human being, right? I think in Japan, they're marrying robots, some people are. Google it.

Four is significance. So, to know that you matter, or that you've been seen, and recognized, and acknowledged, that you're not just operating in a vacuum, but that, "Oh, I'm significant to something, someone, somehow," or, "I am significant," right? Those are our four universal, basic human needs. Everybody's into this. The last two are more spiritual in nature.

Number five is for growth. So, the need to feel like there's progress being made, that we're moving forward, or that we're getting better with time, things are developing momentum. Then six is for contribution, so to know that you have a legacy, or that you made a difference, that you taught something, or somebody, that there was an impact that was made. Those are our six human needs.

Now, if you just have three of those human needs, it's an addiction. Anything above that, you can forget about it. It'll dominate your life.

Technology, how many of those six human needs, right? Already, yes, we're going in to connect, right? Trying to connect, stay connected, get connected. How many times do you see that online, or on the computer, or wherever you're looking, whatever screen you're sucking on, right?

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Know this: There's a difference between connecting and feeling connected.

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Then, certainty, to know that everything is the same. I know the weather is the same as it's expected, right? Then uncertainty, "Ooh, look at this different shiny object, or squirrel on a pole, dancing," or something on Facebook.

So we've already got three there. Oh no! Then, well we've got contribution, posts, right? Like, comment, engage, subscribe. Legacy, oh no!

So, I'm sure I missed one, but you fill in the blank. Our human needs are absorbed in these screens, that are following us around all day.

Source wants you to know that the feeling behind that, the spiritual truth behind that, one is you're feeling lonely, bored, under-stimulated, anxious, and impatient. These are all the uncomfortable feelings that we'll have that will cause us to reach, those 2,500 to 5,500 times for our phone, for example, in a given day.

Unbelievable. I'm still flabbergasted by that number, but hey, you know, it's what the research says, as of 2017. So, be kind to yourself if that's you, right? You live with your phone, or you talk with your phone, or your phone is always on your hip, on your boob, on your ... Screens everywhere.

It's those low vibe feelings, though, that we are trying to escape. So this is what we want to honor this week, in particular, with your energy, is how are you escaping life? So this is our form of self-care, right? We're trying to care for these feelings of emptiness, loneliness, feeling bored, or under-stimulated, or even curious.

We're caring for that by escaping, right? Taking off, into the bowels of Google, or into the depths of Netflix, right? Or wherever you're going, in technology. Technology is meant for you to feel connected and have access. It does not put limits on you.

Now, there is an app, one of my awesome clients ... Hi, Elaine! She uses, called Moment, which is tracking you, how many minutes you've been on your phone, and you can start to raise your own self-awareness of, "Oh my gosh, I've been eating my phone for the last few days," right? It tracks your usage. Moment. It looks like a light green and white flower, if you're looking for it in the App Store, to help you, and it'll also give you alerts to put your phone down.

You've met your limit, right? But most technology is built for access, like this infinite connectivity and access, and that is a breeding ground for addiction and escaping away from your natural energy. Very, very, very un-grounding.

So this week in particular, Source is asking us instead, to unplug at the Deep Dive Retreat. Every year, we practice three whole days unplugged, and yes, we go through withdrawal, and yes it's intense, but it's amazing what happens when you go back to being a natural human being. Suddenly you can see flowers, and smell the ocean breeze, or even just, if you're not by the ocean, you're just alive, and aware, "Oh, this part of my body aches. Ooh, I feel like moving more," right? You're so much more in tune to your health, and to your energy, when you start practice unplugging strategically.

So that's your assignment for this week. Here's the Oracle Card deck. Let me pull this right quick, before we run out of time. Indigo Angel Oracle Cards deck. Another Doreen Virtue deck. One of, I believe, 21 now. Angels, what do we need to know this week, about oh God, screen-sucking?

Ah, time to create. This is where we'll leave off. You know, the bright side of technology is that it gives us an incredible myriad of platforms for expressing our creativity. I double dare you to get creative when you feel the urge to screen-suck, whether it's TV, laptop, tablet, phone, right? When you get the urge to screen-suck, do something creative. Maybe it's change your clothes, or primp yourself, or start drawing, or make a paper shape, or whatever you can do to get creative.

What's coming up for you? Comment below, send me an email back, what happened when you did that? What are you going to plan to do? Are you going to plan to draw? I love doodling, by the way. I doodle on all receipts, so whenever I'm out eating, or shopping, or whatever, I doodle on every receipt that goes back to the waiter.

So, how are you going to express your creativity this week, instead of jumping on that technology thingy? It's going to suck your energy and your time away, right? Let me know. I'm excited to see it, right? And share your poem, share your images, share your songs. I would love to see them. If you want to post a video back, I can't wait to see you.

All right, are you ready for it? We'll see you next week for week four. Bye.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Unplug from technology, strategically.

Make time for creative expression with ZERO technology exposure - even try hiding all screens and machines under blankets if you must.

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

-

Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business.

Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

Click PLAY to watch LIVE Saturday, August 27th, 2016 at 2:00pm, or to watch the recording any time.

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Join us! Tune in to learn how Jo-Anne lost 30lbs, transitioned off medication and achieved the best health of her life past age 60 by shifting her mindset and embracing her passion for herbalism and gardening. See how her story can help you change your life, too!

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Shares @ The Dojo is a monthly informational workshop series for bringing together and raising the vibration of our community by sharing the wisdom of The Dojo Tribe.

Each meeting is free and open to the public and in person at 922 South Avenue West, #1, Westfield, NJ. Voluntary $10 love donations graciously received will support The Dojo and her presenter of the month.

Friends and family are always welcome!

 

-- Do you have a story you want to share with your TRIBE at The Dojo? Email Victoria at SenseiVictoriaWhitfield@gmail.com to get started.

Are you known as "the giver" and backbone of your family or team?

Love sharing your art and work so much that you give it away for free more often than not?

Though you love the feeling of giving, are you secretly worried that you're being drained by what you love?

Giving always feels good to the giver because we feel abundant and connected to others when we do.

But what happens when no one gives to us or tries to connect with us, too -- what happens when we are surrounded by people who just smile, take and keep on taking?

Watch this week's 8-minute Love Letter to find out why you're surrounded by "sucklers" and what to do about it!

"When is someone going to fight for me?"

This week, I keep hearing this wonderful phrase that Lisa Marie Rosati from the Goddess Lifestyle Plan and Sugar Free Goddess coming through for you:

"No more sucklers!"

The guides really want to talk to you about this. 

Giving credit for the phrase where credit is due, I am happy to share this idea of "sucklers" with everyone, because I admire Lisa's work so much.

Women creative entrepreneurs are who I work with, and this comes up a lot.

We end up really giving away a lot of our energy because we are abundant, creative, flowing creatures.

That's who we are, whether or not you are a woman. It's for those of us who are highly creative people.

We care, and we love to create. We love to feel abundant and that sense of giving really gives to us.

It also gives us the sense of responsibility and being needed and connected, giving to others as a form of expressing our love and sharing that abundance.

And I love countering that with the unsettling image of "sucklers" sucking on us.

That's the uncomfortable truth that we live with every day.

This is different from energy vampires, too. Sucklers come upon us in a more sneaky way.

Sucklers are a bit more insidious, because it's those in our community and in our tribe who we want to uplift and see it further who, rather than taking our encouragement and running with it to go on their own journey, they are like, "Oh great," and they keep suckling on our energy.

Also, there is an ageist aspect to that phrase: you're overstaying your welcome, sucklers, because it's your time to get out there.

Source really wants you to know that there may be some people in your life right now, who rather than taking their own initiative are hanging on to you and weighing you down.

I don't know who I'm talking to or who I'm talking about in particular, but let's just explore this.

Rather than taking their own initiative and stepping up to the plate, they've learned from YOUR pattern of behavior reinforcing them staying in a receiving state from you.

Don't misunderstand the message here: Source is saying this AND honoring the fact that you are giving a lot.

You're an amazing nurturing being.

However, the question that you must ask yourself when you are feeling drained is, "what is the pattern IN ME that's creating this situation?"

Know this: YOU train people to be energy #vampires by having no self #respect or #selfcare. #loveyourself @SenseiWhitfield

Ouch...

Why would we be asking this question in the first place?

If you feel that a lot of people are taking, taking, taking from you, but you don't feel like anyone gives to you.

Now, we don't mean this in a selfish way, like we're keeping score, murmuring "Grr, when am I going to get mine?"

No, that's not what we're saying.

Instead, just consider: are you the only giver in town?

Or better yet, could giving and being The Giver or The Nurturer be a way that you control every one around you?

If that is so, it's counterproductive for you to be mad at people for continuing the paradigm that you've set up of control through receiving from you.

Also, this is for those of us that are secretly feeling, "Ugh! I advocate for everyone, lift up everyone so much. When is someone going to fight for me? When is someone going to advocate for me?"

That might be coming up because we're exhibiting a behavioral pattern that reinforces having sucklers around.

People are not taking initiative, because we're not giving them the space to take it.

Here are the oracle cards now. This is a bit of a tough love week. This topic kind of sucks. LOL!

It's important on the path of natural intuitive development to see how our energy drains, though.

That's one of the many forms of assessment that we do here at the dojo.

The Indigo Angel Oracle Cards deck, by Doreen Virtue is the deck of the week. 

So let's see what's coming up around this energy drain issue for those people who it started off beautifully, and really meant well to be nurturing and giving, but are now starting to feel drained and resentful.

Suddenly, we've become "mama" to grown men, grown women, and not in a good way, in a draining way.

Wow, look at the image, how the breasts of the angel are exposed to show giving, nurturing, mother energy!

 

 

This week's #oracle card is "You Are Special" -- the #Angels want you to know this week that you are worthy of #love, #support and recognition. Your #joy and #health are just as important as others'; especially if you go out of your way to make everyone else feel special, this week you need to remember that you are special, too. Full reading on #YouTube: https://youtu.be/mjXVG-1uCfM ????????✨????????✨ #reiki #meditation #healing

 

A photo posted by Sensei Victoria Whitfield (@senseiwhitfield) on Mar 27, 2016 at 6:10am PDT

You are special.

The reason why the angels are sending this card forward is this is showing what's the problematic pattern and behavior that you're exhibiting. 

You don't see yourself as special. Everyone else is special in your eyes.

That's so loving. That's beautiful. Humble.

However, it ends up leaving your needs, your boundaries, your standards, your values in the dust, because we place others above ourselves, because we assign everyone on the outside responsibility for making us feel happy.

What does that mean?

That means we're not happy and comfortable unless our entire environment is happy and comfortable. Right?

But making everyone happy doesn't make you special.

It just makes you really busy.

To change the pattern of behavior, for this week in particular, is to say to yourself, "How can I see myself as just as special as everyone else that I am pouring love into this week?"

Are you special?

What's a list of things that make you special?

Comment below, send me an email back. Tell me. I want to hear it.

I'm excited to see you celebrate yourself and begin to shift that pattern of behavior!

That's this week's message. By all means, please go to victoriawhitfield.com/freegift and make sure that you subscribe so that you're getting your weekly Love Letters if you haven’t already.

And on YouTube hit that Subscribe button, wherever she is on your screen, so that you get your weekly Love Letters as soon as their uploaded.

Sending you so much love 🙂

See you next time. Bye!

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

If you find yourself feeling drained by a person or situation, pause for a second. Ask yourself: "what is the pattern IN ME that is creating this situation?"

Allow any images, ideas, memories and guidance to come up for you in response to that question, and don't judge what you hear.

 

Want to de-stress and clear your energy but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!