Wish you could speak up for yourself in difficult situations?

Constantly trying to make everyone else happy while you're drained and exhausted?

Worried that if you aren't "nice" enough that people won't accept you as you are?

Being able to resolve conflicts is an important skill in life.

However there's a fine line between being helpful and being a people-pleaser -- and we often tend to blur that line.

Watch this week's 6-minute Love Letter video to find out if you're being "too nice" and what you can do about it!

"How can I tell if I'm being 'too nice?'"

This week, Source wants to ask you: Are you being too nice?

This a rhetorical question by the way! It's more to raise your awareness around the fact that you are being too nice.

Let's just cut to the chase. Recently, maybe you've been feeling some of the following scenarios:

• • You want to speak up in a certain situation and you just don't because you want to "play nice,"  "keep the peace" or make sure everyone feels okay.

• • There's something that you want, but because you want someone else, or everyone else, to feel comfortable and have what they want or because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, you keep it to yourself or hide it.

• Or better yet, you don't freely express what you want in general, so when people innocently ask what you want because they want to support you, you've been holding back expressing what you want for so long that you don't even know what you want, and so you just draw a blank.

When someone you care about asks, "What do you want?" or "Where do you want to eat tonight?" or "What would you like to do?" for example, you shut down.

Perhaps we were raised or socialized to "politely" shut down like this, or perhaps you just decided at some point to believe that when you're a nice person, you make concessions and let others go ahead and make the decisions, always.

It could be under the guise of having a servant's heart.

It could be under the guise of being gentle, compassionate, giving, loving, even.

But here's the thing: what matters most is how you feel.

Know this: You can tell if you're being too #nice according to how you feel. #motivation #feelings @senseiwhitfield

How do making concessions and being indecisive feel?

How does hiding your true wants and desires feel?

How does holding back like this feel?

Source is saying you're hiding your anger.

Here's the thing: hiding your true feelings to be "polite" is only hiding from yourself, and that's a sure-fire recipe for anger and resentment.

When you want to be a good person, that doesn't necessarily mean that your blood should be boiling in the background all the time, putting on a nice front in order to make others feel comfortable and more safe in your presence.

That is inauthentic and moreover a symptom of being ungrounded.

It's about becoming aware of the difference between:

Not knowing what you want because you're hiding it from yourself, and by extension hiding it from others and appearing politely indecisive

versus

Knowing what you want and how you feel, and having the communication skills and courage to be truthful and meet others halfway

They're completely different arenas, completely different emotional experiences.

Especially when we're sensitive, empathic, intuitive beings, we tend to take on others' emotions. And we absorb the energies of environments and that will even more push us to want to be extra nice.

Because if we can only contribute positive energy and only appease (read: people-please) others, then that will create a comfortable exterior environment which then, once that happens, then we can on the interior feel comfortable.

So, as empaths we're unfortunately used to being defined by our circumstance.

That's a serious problem, because this complex issue of being "too nice" sets you up for Enabling codependency, disempowerment, self-sabotage and living a very small, confused life.

So Source in the energy, She is simply asking for you to notice if you are being too nice at all this week.

She wants you to notice if you are losing your point of view and your identity in order to appease others.

This week in particular -- you clicked on this video blog now, so you need to be vigilant this week in particular.

I'm not talking about all the time, but Source says something's going on this week where you're going to need to be extra vigilant.

And I'm hearing the Oracle Cards calling. It's the Indigo Angel Oracle Cards deck.

Let's ask the angels, "what do we need to know right now about possibly being too nice? Could we be being too nice?"

Archangel Michael.

Archangel Michael comes forward with his fiery sword.

If you notice, that's his back on the card. The message is: he's got your back.

 

 

This week's oracle card is "Archangel Michael" with a message that he's got your back. Are you afraid to be bold and stand up for what you believe in? Full reading on YouTube at https://youtu.be/rsDkYwuB--k ????????????????✨ #motivation #motivationmonday #instadaily #confidence #strength #selflove #healthy #letsgo #healing #angel #oraclecards #youtube

A photo posted by Sensei Victoria Whitfield (@senseiwhitfield) on May 9, 2016 at 3:51am PDT

Sometimes we can be overly nice in people-pleasing as a protection and a coping mechanism.

Don't sacrifice your personality, your preferences, your desires, to simply fit in or appease others.

Your point of view is worthy. YOU are worthy.

Send me an email back, comment below, tell me what's coming up for you around if you're being too nice or being curious about it.

If you want to ask me about a situation, I always respond. Let me know, and I'm happy to mastermind with you through this situation, okay?

Subscribe on YouTube so you get your love letter every week.

Until next time, don't be too nice. 😉 

See you next week. Bye!

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

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Stop being "nice" at the expense of your integrity and inner truth. 

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The post Love Letters | Are You Too Nice? appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.