Do you lack personal boundaries?

Feeling anxious and worried because you're afraid uncertain times?
Struggling to find clarity or make a decision because you don't know why you do what you do?

If so, chances are you are spiritually ungrounded.

Being spiritually ungrounded is a very complex and complicated issue, because it comes down to re-identifying of your core beliefs, desires and values.

Watch this weeks 13-minute love letter video to clear your spiritual energy and ground yourself.

"I'm not sure of what I'm looking for in a partner."

This week is our fourth and final week. We made it to the top.

On our deep dive into what is grounding and living a more grounded life, last week we discussed emotional and mental grounding and how we can live into being more mentally and emotionally grounded.

Involves time. Our emotional relationship with time.

If you didn't get to see that, please go to my YouTube channel. Search in YouTube for Sensei Victoria Whitfield grounding and it should come up there.

This week we're talking about spiritually grounded, what it means to be spiritually grounded. This is a different vibration than the physical realm and the mental emotional realm.

This has to do with more of your energy, your values, and beliefs. Write this down.

My spirituality has to do with my energy, values, and beliefs.

This is really powerful because when you are not spiritually grounded, there's this overwhelming sense of uncertainty.

Feeling like:

• "I'm not certain if I'm headed in the right direction."
• "I'm not certain of what I believe."
• "I'm unsure of how I feel."
• "I'm unsure of what even kinds of foods I like."
• "I'm not sure of what I'm looking for in a partner."
• "I'm not sure how I'm doing."
• "I'm feeling blocked but I'm not even sure what that means."

These are all symptoms of being spiritually ungrounded.

My guides have told me to read you a little bit more from my book Natural Intuition Now.

If you haven't gotten this yet, please hop on Amazon.com. Prime will have it to you in two days. Maybe this reminder to get the book is not for you this time.

Maybe it's for your friend, your coworker, your family member who's very empathically sensitive but doesn't know where to start.

My guide said to read to you a little bit more from the list in the book of what are other symptoms of being spiritually ungrounded.

See if this describes you or who you're thinking of. If we're talking about people who aren't watching right now.

Let's see. Nightmares, feeling very possessive, feeling selfish, having strong prejudice. Let's see here. Obsession with reliving past experiences or even an obsession with trying to figure out what happened in your past life. Let's see. Putting oneself in destructive situations.

Here's a big one, having a lack of boundaries.

Ouch. Ouch.

Being followed around by drama. Let's see. Having lots and lots of raw, raw faith, but no works to back that up like not being able to get it done. Having lots of works.

Doing, getting, getting, getting it done but absolutely no faith that this is going anywhere. It's not going to do anything.

These are all symptoms of being spiritually ungrounded. Your value system, your priority system, how you connect is off. It's against your nature.

Remember in our very first video in this four video series, what exactly is grounding?

When we defined it, it's being connected to your nature, to your zero, your neutral point. Going with the flow of nature and how empathic energy moves to and through you freely.

When it comes to being off around your beliefs and values of yourself, of the world around you, of the way that you understand energy, this can really affect your health in so many ways.

Especially when it comes from the spiritual perspective.

This week in particular, the technique that we want to look at for clearing and grounding your energy in the spiritual way, spiritual grounding, is actually asking for help.

Asking for help? What in the world? Why would I even care to ask for help? What does that have to do with my spirituality? Is being spiritually ungrounded? What the heck? Believe it or not.

Know this: "Your ability to ask for & receive help determines your #spiritual health"

Your ability to ask for help and receive it can determine your spiritual health.

Hello, this is what I do here all day. Here at the dojo I've been doing it for years. It's getting people to be able to receive help, health, their abundance, their visions, so on and so forth.

It's together we make that happen. Not by ourselves.

How are you going to ask for help and really around an area of your life where you're not sure? You're feeling uncertainty because what also qualifies this for spiritual grounding is that it's asking for help around what you fear.

It could be grounding that financial fear. Maybe for learning how to save for retirement. That is actually doing detriment to your spiritual empathic energy not dealing with an issue that big.

Or maybe it's asking for help maybe on a more energetic level.

Being able to communicate with your deceased pet or loved one. I can't figure it out. I know my puppy has something to tell me. I know that my grandmother has a message for me. I believe that I miss her. I have so much grief. Oh my god. I don't know what to do by myself.

There's so much spiritual turmoil in that. Being ungrounded within yourself.

Within yourself that it's really powerful reaching out and sharing that with another. This week in particular, believe it or not, the technique for grounding yourself spiritually is asking for help. Specifically around something that you fear.

Do you want to know why? I'll give you the secret sauce.

It's because you're going to feel vulnerable.

Yes, actually.

Vulnerability is one of the foundations to deep spiritual healing and grounding.

In a safe place, in the right hands. Who you ask matters. We ask people that are positive champions that make you feel grounded.

If you don't know what it's like to feel emotionally grounded or even physically grounded around another person, I can't stress this enough, there's lists. I like lists. I was like, just tell me what to select from. That's how I'm wired. Get the book.

My guides just said it's time to pull the oracle card for the week around spiritually grounding.

Let's take a look here. We got a few decks left. Angels of abundance. Another donated deck. Thanks Julie, by the way. Julie Shopa, clarityfinances.com. Another Doreen virtue. We've got 20 and counting here so far. Let's see.

Angels of abundance.

Interesting that financial energy is coming up around spiritual groundedness. What do we need to know this week around spiritual grounding? Detox your friendships.

Your abundance flow is being effected by the people with whom you're spending time. Be discerning about your associations and relationships.

Choose to be with people who are inspiring, generous, and supportive. This is awesome.

This is totally in alignment with what we were just channeling for you.

How can I? Maybe one of you or maybe you watching are thinking, who do I ask for help when I'm surrounded with so many crusty crabs? Time for a detoxing of friendships.

If you want to ask, how do I go about that? I'm right here. Click that respond button. Send me an email back. Reach out for help. I'm happy to support you in a private support session. I offer packages of that for that matter.

In particular, my guides are circling be discerning about your associations and relationships. In order to be discerning, that's a learned skill. You want to ask for help from one who is more discerning than you at first.

You need mentorship around discernment and cultivating that. Spiritual discernment is also contagious. If you are around by osmosis ... this is a rubbing an elbow. I'm not starting a lawn mower.

If you're rubbing elbows with other highly intuitive positive grounded empathic people like here at the dojo, not just me but we're a co op, by the way. We have amazing reiki practitioners, channels, counselors, consultants, coaches. We have a big tribe here to support you if you are looking for different forms of discernment. That you can absorb by osmosis. It's contagious off of others.

You got to detox your friendships this week so that you can ask for help and receive it in a safe way.

Comment below. Send me an email back what's coming up for you around this.

Have you been practicing being grounded? Are you being accountable? Are you actually doing the things that we're talking about here?

Or are you like, oh look. Moving pictures and now I'm off to the next thing. Bye Victoria. No. If that's you, I accept you anyway. I'll keep showing up and reminding you.

Make sure you subscribe on YouTube or at VictoriaWhitfield.com/freegift so that you can get your free meditation MP3 that's going to ground and clear your energy so you can get started grounding right now rather than waiting.

Reach out for help this week. There's so much love and positive energy around you. Once you get back connected to your nature.

Let's keep this conversation going. I look forward to hearing from you soon. See you next time. Bye.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Ask for help, especially with something that stresses or intimidates you.

And allow yourself to receive help that's offered, even if it makes you uncomfortable because you are not the Giver (read: Controller).

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

Want spiritual support on your healing journey but don't know where to start? Let's work #together!

Click the pink button below to book your Private Support Sessions with Victoria and jumpstart your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Spiritual Grounding – Part 4 of 4 appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Are you a worry-wart?

Do you believe that when you love someone, you should worry about them to show you care?

Wish your life was less stressful?

Worry has been said to be a negative form of prayer for something you don't want.

So why do we worry so much?

Watch this week's 10-minute Love Letter video to understand what worry really is, and why you can't seem to stop doing it!

"I'm a worry wart."

This week, the question is: Why so worried?

Why are you so worried? It would be really easy for me to just tell you, "Stop worrying! Don't worry anymore. Let it go. Release it. Release the hounds of your worry," but that's not what I've been guided to relay to you this week in particular.

Instead, this is a digging week, a journaling week, a self-reflection, internal, introspection week.

Why so worried? Perhaps you are someone who other people have called, or you self-identify as, "I'm a worry wart. I worry about my kids. I worry about my business. I worry about the economy. I worry about my health. I worry about my boyfriend," or "I worry about my pets. I worry about what I'm going to make for dinner tonight."

Perhaps you self-identify as, "I'm a worry wart," or other people might have said, "Oh she's always worrying all the time."

Maybe your husband or your wife, your significant other has said that about you, you know, your partner. Maybe, in business, the other person is like the visionary, creative risk-taker, and you're the worrier. "How are we going to do this? Let me look at all the metrics and get into the nuts and bolts of things."

Worry is suffering.

I'm sorry to have to be the one to break that to you, but worrying is a form of suffering, so the more that you identify with being a worry wart, or being someone who worries a lot, the more you identify with having a life that is driven by your suffering, by the way you identify that.

It's not something that anybody else puts on you. I know this is a little bit tough to hear, but I want you to know this because I care about you.

The guides are also saying worse yet, you may be someone who associates worry with caring. If worry, under our definition currently, is suffering, that means you associate suffering with caring, or better yet, love with suffering. There's this sense of, "Oh gosh," fear of being in intimate relationships because, "What if I care too much? What if it ends?" And we begin to worry about that.

Suffering before anything has happened, or before there is any proof of something to legitimately take care of and respond to.

Know this: Worry is suffering. The more you identify as a "worry wart," the more you ask for a life driven by suffering. #letitgo

Be kind to yourself. If this is you, I know this is tough to hear if this is you. I'm feeling a lot of tense energy coming through as we're channeling.

When we are worrying, we are actually managing and creating a sense of felt control and influence on an object, or a person, or something, a situation that it's impossible to control or manage.

Take, for example, love. When we worry, we create this connection through the management of how we feel and how we think things are going to go for them.

Like, "Oh what if this happens, and what if this happens, and what if this happens?" Because you've suffered your way through all of the imaginary possible situation and scenarios. Get ready for this.

It gives you a sense of significance, whereas without that, all that suffering and imagining all of that, you wouldn't feel, for some reason, secure or significant to that person that you care about.

Did you know that you are so special that, in fact, you don't have to be responsible for figuring out every future by yourself, especially if you're worrying about somebody else. Include them. Hello? Share what's on your heart.

Why so worried? Why do you associate and root your sense of significance as a human being, or as a mother, or as a lover, or as an owner? Why do you associate your significance with worry, and your ability to envision and create possible negative outcomes?

Don't blame it on anybody. I just heard somebody say, "Well, my mother worried all the time, or my father." Oh my God. "He was always worried about the next thing." What next? Resist the urge to blame it on someone. This is a journaling opportunity. The guides, now, are calling, "Read the oracle cards."

Angel Therapy is the oracle cards deck for this week. I know this is a touchy, kind of squishy subject, but you've got to hear it.

This is what they said. Angels, please tell us. What do we need to know about worrying? Why? Why do we worry so much? What do we need to know? Get ready for this. Heal away addictions.

The guides just said, "This is a big reason why you cannot blame your parents, your society, or your community for your identity as a worrier." That's your addiction.

This is not to blame the victim. Instead I want you to know you have power to shift the story of your life, and the story of who you are. You don't have to be worried all the time. You don't have to be "the worrier." There's more to life than suffering through her.

"It's time to let go of behaviors that are blocking you from your heart's desire. Ask Archangel Raphael to help you with this healing."

I'm just going to do this in behalf of you.

Archangel Raphael, for whoever is watching right now- Whoo, the energy. For whoever is watching right now who is filled with worry, or who identifies as being a worrier, I ask that you surround this person, or people, with your healing green light and infuse their heart with your healing energy. Thank you. I feel your presence so strong right now. Lift the worry out of them. Take it away, and we give all of our worries over to you, over to Source, over to God, knowing that we are never alone in that which concerns us. We ask that you heal the identity around worry, and that we be released to a higher vibration, from being the worrier to being the communicator, the connector. Let us come out of our caves and into the world to shine our light in the way that we have been built to in this lifetime, and so it is.

Comment below or send me an e-mail back. What's coming up for you around worrying? Did you need to hear that? What did you feel during that sequence just now? Perhaps it was a prayer or meditation for you. Let me know.

Subscribe on Youtube so that you get your love letters every week first.

By the way, share this with the worrier in your life. If you know who it is, don't let them continue on this path of self-imposed suffering. There's so much more to life than that. Okay?

Sending you so much love and blessings, and I'll see you next week. Bye.

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Journal about why you worry or why you connect worry with caring or loving.

Make sure to really write out how worrying makes you feel significant and how it gives you an emotional sense of "felt control" as you worry.

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

Want spiritual support on your healing journey but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Click the grey button below to book your complimentary 30-minute Share Your Story Call  to start your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Why So Worried? appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Are you a worry-wart?

Do you believe that when you love someone, you should worry about them to show you care?

Wish your life was less stressful?

Worry has been said to be a negative form of prayer for something you don't want.

So why do we worry so much?

Watch this week's 10-minute Love Letter video to understand what worry really is, and why you can't seem to stop doing it!

"I'm a worry wart."

This week, the question is: Why so worried?

Why are you so worried? It would be really easy for me to just tell you, "Stop worrying! Don't worry anymore. Let it go. Release it. Release the hounds of your worry," but that's not what I've been guided to relay to you this week in particular.

Instead, this is a digging week, a journaling week, a self-reflection, internal, introspection week.

Why so worried? Perhaps you are someone who other people have called, or you self-identify as, "I'm a worry wart. I worry about my kids. I worry about my business. I worry about the economy. I worry about my health. I worry about my boyfriend," or "I worry about my pets. I worry about what I'm going to make for dinner tonight."

Perhaps you self-identify as, "I'm a worry wart," or other people might have said, "Oh she's always worrying all the time."

Maybe your husband or your wife, your significant other has said that about you, you know, your partner. Maybe, in business, the other person is like the visionary, creative risk-taker, and you're the worrier. "How are we going to do this? Let me look at all the metrics and get into the nuts and bolts of things."

Worry is suffering.

I'm sorry to have to be the one to break that to you, but worrying is a form of suffering, so the more that you identify with being a worry wart, or being someone who worries a lot, the more you identify with having a life that is driven by your suffering, by the way you identify that.

It's not something that anybody else puts on you. I know this is a little bit tough to hear, but I want you to know this because I care about you.

The guides are also saying worse yet, you may be someone who associates worry with caring. If worry, under our definition currently, is suffering, that means you associate suffering with caring, or better yet, love with suffering. There's this sense of, "Oh gosh," fear of being in intimate relationships because, "What if I care too much? What if it ends?" And we begin to worry about that.

Suffering before anything has happened, or before there is any proof of something to legitimately take care of and respond to.

Know this: Worry is suffering. The more you identify as a "worry wart," the more you ask for a life driven by suffering. #letitgo

Be kind to yourself. If this is you, I know this is tough to hear if this is you. I'm feeling a lot of tense energy coming through as we're channeling.

When we are worrying, we are actually managing and creating a sense of felt control and influence on an object, or a person, or something, a situation that it's impossible to control or manage.

Take, for example, love. When we worry, we create this connection through the management of how we feel and how we think things are going to go for them.

Like, "Oh what if this happens, and what if this happens, and what if this happens?" Because you've suffered your way through all of the imaginary possible situation and scenarios. Get ready for this.

It gives you a sense of significance, whereas without that, all that suffering and imagining all of that, you wouldn't feel, for some reason, secure or significant to that person that you care about.

Did you know that you are so special that, in fact, you don't have to be responsible for figuring out every future by yourself, especially if you're worrying about somebody else. Include them. Hello? Share what's on your heart.

Why so worried? Why do you associate and root your sense of significance as a human being, or as a mother, or as a lover, or as an owner? Why do you associate your significance with worry, and your ability to envision and create possible negative outcomes?

Don't blame it on anybody. I just heard somebody say, "Well, my mother worried all the time, or my father." Oh my God. "He was always worried about the next thing." What next? Resist the urge to blame it on someone. This is a journaling opportunity. The guides, now, are calling, "Read the oracle cards."

Angel Therapy is the oracle cards deck for this week. I know this is a touchy, kind of squishy subject, but you've got to hear it.

This is what they said. Angels, please tell us. What do we need to know about worrying? Why? Why do we worry so much? What do we need to know? Get ready for this. Heal away addictions.

The guides just said, "This is a big reason why you cannot blame your parents, your society, or your community for your identity as a worrier." That's your addiction.

This is not to blame the victim. Instead I want you to know you have power to shift the story of your life, and the story of who you are. You don't have to be worried all the time. You don't have to be "the worrier." There's more to life than suffering through her.

"It's time to let go of behaviors that are blocking you from your heart's desire. Ask Archangel Raphael to help you with this healing."

I'm just going to do this in behalf of you.

Archangel Raphael, for whoever is watching right now- Whoo, the energy. For whoever is watching right now who is filled with worry, or who identifies as being a worrier, I ask that you surround this person, or people, with your healing green light and infuse their heart with your healing energy. Thank you. I feel your presence so strong right now. Lift the worry out of them. Take it away, and we give all of our worries over to you, over to Source, over to God, knowing that we are never alone in that which concerns us. We ask that you heal the identity around worry, and that we be released to a higher vibration, from being the worrier to being the communicator, the connector. Let us come out of our caves and into the world to shine our light in the way that we have been built to in this lifetime, and so it is.

Comment below or send me an e-mail back. What's coming up for you around worrying? Did you need to hear that? What did you feel during that sequence just now? Perhaps it was a prayer or meditation for you. Let me know.

Subscribe on Youtube so that you get your love letters every week first.

By the way, share this with the worrier in your life. If you know who it is, don't let them continue on this path of self-imposed suffering. There's so much more to life than that. Okay?

Sending you so much love and blessings, and I'll see you next week. Bye.

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Journal about why you worry or why you connect worry with caring or loving.

Make sure to really write out how worrying makes you feel significant and how it gives you an emotional sense of "felt control" as you worry.

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

Want spiritual support on your healing journey but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give us a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Why So Worried? appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Stuck at a personal development plateau?

Hit a road block on your healing journey?

Annoyed that things aren't progressing further along, no matter how hard you try?

When we decide to take charge of our lives and make time to make a change initially it yields fast and exciting results, and because the changes are brand new, they excite us and give us an ego boost.

Inevitably though, there comes a point in everyone's healing journey where we reach a developmental plateau in helping ourselves -- and this can be particularly frustrating.

Watch this week's 7-minute Love Letter to learn what to do when you're feeling stuck in your self-help journey.

"I have this under control. I can really help myself."

This week Source wanted to talk to you about feeling stuck in your self help, specifically cycles of self help.

We've got books, we've got sprays, we've got candles, we've got classes and workshops and certifications, oh my!

At some point it appears that we've hit a bit of a roadblock, where we're just preparing and preparing and helping ourselves and helping ourselves and helping ourselves, and nothing's really moving farther along.

Your strategy for this week is to practice asking. Asking for help, in particular.

Immediately I'm feeling some kind of prickly things in the energy from some of the Tribe who's watching right now.

Prickly thoughts like, "Oh, I have this under control. I can really help myself. I have a book," or, "I have a certificate, I should be able with all the knowledge that I have right now, I should be able to shift my situation on my own."

Now to some extent, absolutely, yes you can shift your situation on your own. On your own you can make great strides.

On your own you can learn the importance of taking personal responsibility and taking your own power back, and really identifying that, "Yes, this is my life and I'm going to write my own story. I'm going to reinvent myself."

In fact that's a powerful strategy in and of herself: tell yourself, "I am reinventing myself, I am rewriting my life story right now."

However you may have been at that for a while now if you're watching this video in particular because the books like we're reading the Chopra-Oprah-Tolle-Hicks-Hay-Virtue etc. -- we've got everybody feeding us spiritually, which is incredible.

We're taking in and we're taking in from incredible masters... and then we notice nothing's happening.

Privately, we think to ourselves in exasperation: "I've taken this financial abundance love attraction course and I haven't manifested enough money to really do that thing I wanted to -- pay the bills or pay off my debt. I wrote it on my goal card and it didn't happen."

What do you do, when we're hitting obstacles and roadblocks or feeling a sense of stagnation or being blocked?

Here's what you do: get yourself emotionally ready to being willing to ask for assistance, because self help can only take you so far when you are by yourself.

Know this: #SelfHelp can only get you so far. Plateaued? Then it's time to reach out and ASK for help. #nextlevel #success @SenseiWhitfield

It's time to find support and talk to your tribe.

Bring your problem up and out of you and into the hands of at least one other being who is open, caring, a champion for you naturally, someone who just celebrates you and who is curious about issues and helping, who loves being there to listen.

Bring it up and out of you.

For whatever reason this week in particular Source is saying it's time for you to ask for help.

Perhaps someone, maybe even me, has been on your mind lately.

You've been thinking: "I know that I need to really reach out, but I'm going to try maybe just this one more thing," or, "I'm going to try and figure this out on my own. I know I can do it, I've done it before."

At this level of your development, you need to accept that a new level is a new level.

We just need to accept that sometimes reaching out is the way to go to make it past our plateau.

I'm hearing the oracle cards calling in the energy, now. It's the Healing with the Angels oracle cards deck -- Doreen Virtue's very first oracle cards deck.

This deck in particular came forward intuitively when I asked all the decks here at the dojo who wants to help with feeling stuck on self help.

(I'm always receiving donations, by the way, if you wanted to donate an extra deck that you had. Email me about it at senseivictoriawhitfield@gmail.com)

Angels what do we need to know right now to get out of our decision to be stuck in our self help journey?

 

 

This week's oracle card is "Abundance" -- focus your efforts this week on improving your #abundance #mindset because everything you need is actually right under your nose, you just can't see it yet because of your #perspective. Full reading on #youtube at https://youtu.be/5d6me-nOXGY ???????????????? #positivevibes #healing #oraclecards #abundance #money #wealth #success #motivation #selflove #personaldevelopment #openyoureyes #letsgo

 

A photo posted by Sensei Victoria Whitfield (@senseiwhitfield) on Apr 3, 2016 at 4:33am PDT

Oh, Abundance!

There is infinite abundance around you of assistance, support, love, encouragement, championing.

But you cannot unlock and receive this abundance until you go out of your comfort zone and pursue it by asking.

That's a very open, vulnerable way of pursuing your next level, asking for the abundance which you seek.

That's challenging, because it takes courage to ask for help, but we assure you that there, right underneath your nose is so much abundance of exactly what you need right now, down to the T.

You are within on degree of separation.

This week, in fact this day in particular, you're within one degree of separation of the help that you need to move to your next level, but you have to step out of your comfort zone and ask for assistance now.

Comment below, send me an email back, what's coming up for you?

Ask me what your question is about your plateau.

You know I'd be overjoyed to support you and answer any questions that you have!

But reach out, don't try and self help, do the do-it-yourself kinds of thing because Source says we're moving passed that paradigm.

You're at a new level now and this new level includes working with your group, your community and leveraging. Okay? I'm sending so much love.

That's this week's message. By all means, please go to victoriawhitfield.com/freegift and make sure that you subscribe so that you're getting your weekly Love Letters if you haven’t already.

And on YouTube hit that Subscribe button, wherever she is on your screen, so that you get your weekly Love Letters as soon as their uploaded.

Sending you so much love 🙂

See you next time. Bye!

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Be honest. Notice where you have plateaued in your personal development or in your life because you've been going it alone.

Want to spiritual support on your healing journey but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at +1 (732) 903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!

The post Love Letters | Stuck on Self Help appeared first on Sensei Victoria Whitfield.

Do you have a hard time saying "no" to people?

Always end up kicking yourself afterward, because you're too quick to say "yes" when others ask you if you can do something for them?

Wondering why you have trouble knowing and respecting your own boundaries?

Chronic people-pleasing behavior comes from our core human desires for significance and approval.

It's natural to want to feel significant and approved of, but it's a whole other can of wormy worms when you're dependent on others to feel emotionally secure.

Watch the above video to embrace the fact that your yes actually means no sometimes, and what to do about it!

"Can you do this for me? -- YEAH SURE!"

It's like a knee-jerk reaction.

The YES! comes flying out before you can check your schedule, before you have considered your current workload and commitments, and before you can even blink.

And we wonder why we feel so overwhelmed lately...

All of a sudden your workday is jampacked, you're wearing 5 hats in the office, and then when you get home you're putting out fires, going to parties with people you're not really interested in to keep up appearances of being "social" and "normal," the dishes and laundry are piling up, your socks have holes in them and your shoes and underpants are falling apart....

Meanwhile, everyone around you says you're a "good friend," a "good mom" and you "work hard" and that they love you for "always being there." In fact, whenever they hear that someone needs something done, they'll send them to you to do it for them, too!

That's quite beautiful on one hand to be so connected, involved and loved, however sometimes being so over-committed can catch up with you.

Your health and self-care are the first to go. Suddenly you've found that you're exhausted all the time, and you're not sleeping at night because you just can't turn off your mind.

Thoughts are racing through your head late at night when you should be sound asleep about the next thing that you "have to do" or "has to get done" around the house, at the office, or for so-in-so up the street, etc.

To stay organized and create some sense of order, you write up lists on sticky notes and pieces of paper and revel in the juiceyfulness of CROSSING OUT tasks when you finish them. YES!

And sometimes, when no one's looking... you'll even add a few tasks on to your existing lists just so you can cross them out immediately and feel EVEN MORE accomplished...

Is this sounding familiar yet? Maybe I'm the only one. 😉

Believe it or not, being addicted to solving other people's problems is actually a form of controlling and avoidant behavior.

Here's how it goes: if you can crowd your life with other people's issues and opinions, you can

1) "have a hand in" (read: "control") part of their lives, and that will make you feel personally significant--even if that significance is temporary and externally determined or artificial, and

2) you can also avoid confronting and healing your own internal insecurities and deep-seated emotional wounds, because you're too busy dealing with other people's stuff.

Having a Savior Complex therefore is an emotional Get-Out-Of-Jail-FREE Card! YAY!

Now, I'm not saying you should never help people and turn into a selfish, angry hermit crab. No.

However you should learn to honor YOURSELF and YOUR NEEDS when making a decision to lend a hand or get involved with others' projects.

You see, you don't have to save everybody who comes across your path.

Read any comic book or watch any movie about superheros, and that's one of the biggest lessons they have to learn too--you can't save everybody. It's about teamwork AND facing your own inner demons in the process, too.

One way you can combat overwhelm or caregiver's fatigue is by studying and practicing using a magickal two-letter word: "No."

You actually already say No now, while you're saying Yes--internally, that is.

Know this: Saying NO to you is saying YES to me. #selfcare #boundaries #love

Ever had the experience of your boss or a client or someone asking you to do something, and you said "Yes" out loud, but you felt uncomfortable in your body while doing it?

THAT is an example of when your Yes really means NO.

You see, your body never lies. And your emotions express themselves constantly to you through the sensations of your body through what is called your "gut feelings" or "listening to your heart"--notice the bodily organs: heart, gut.

Where we get lost is when we tune to and value other people's feelings moreso than our own--our own point of view gets lost in the sauce.

The "sauce" of empathic overwhelm, that is. And that's when our mind-body sponge becomes saturated by other's thoughts and feelings so much that we can't hear our own anymore.

Most people describe empathic overwhelm as "I need to get rid of all this negativity" or "I need clarity" or "I'm just so stressed out, I can't think straight" -- it's all the same.

Watch this week's video for the Oracle Card of the Week, which shows us what's the spiritual reason for WHY you're saying "yes" when you really mean "NO!"

In Love and Light,

Victoria.

VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield

Just for Today...

Notice if you are aware of your needs and how you feel the next time someone asks you to do something today. You are nobody's servant and nobody's slave.

When someone asks you to do something today (that isn't about a life-threatening situation), buy yourself some time to check in with yourself and say "Let me see. I'll get back to you on that." And set a time later on, after you've tuned in to YOUR schedule, needs and feelings, to update them...

Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!

SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!

Want to stop being a doormat but don't know where to start? Tell me!

Give me a call at 732-903-8573 or click on the blue BOOK NOW button to start your healing journey, today!

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