Wish you were more confident?
Think you are too shy, introverted or quiet?
Always feeling unsure of yourself, especially in social settings, or presentations at work or school?
It's time for you to stop hiding -- you are now allowed to let your light shine!
Yay! But where the heck do you start when building self-confidence?
Watch the above video to learn a fun and exciting technique for rapidly building authentic self-confidence!
"Oh, I'll never be as confident as her/him! I'm not an extrovert..."
We all end up thinking this to ourselves from time to time; maybe when we've seen an amazing public speaker, or witnessed someone work a room like a natural social butterfly at a party. And you're watching said person from the cozy spot you've firmly staked out at the hors d'oeuvres table, so you can at least look busy and engaged by slowly eating...EVERYTHING. Lol I know how that goes all too well!
When you have low self-confidence, you try not to draw attention to yourself -- even your own attention -- because if you do, a million and one reasons (or excuses, rather) pop up to show why you're not good enough.
Over time, this hiding and shrinking behavior becomes a pattern, so much that you can even base your identity on it. And this is a vicious cycle.
At first you find yourself identifying comfortably with being the "helper" or the "black sheep" or the "underdog" in social situations, because you believe that is "your place." When you see people playing these roles in shows and movies, you feel like you're watching your own life play out on screen.
But perhaps you've always felt like an outsider or underdog not because you're not good enough, but instead it's because you've been criticized and told that no matter what you do you're still "not good enough" by your parents, an authority figure or the Media growing up.
So, believing what they -- others in general -- have said about you, your confidence in yourself shrivels.
It shrivels because you've internalized their criticism and then continue to do it for them, with negative self-talk or saying "I'm sorry" over and over to basically apologize for not being good enough whenever possible.
Being raised and encouraged to be "the best" ends up being a double-edged sword in sometimes life because you'll find yourself constantly wanting to "win" in life to gain approval from others.
Yet, if you're constantly looking for others' approval, you're also constantly feeling like you're coming up short in comparison to others. You feel small on the inside and
There eventually comes a point when you notice that the one person's approval you need most is absent: yours.
You don't have to look externally for approval. In fact, it's not very effective in the grand scheme of things. There's too many people to manage out there -- that's why people-pleasing always makes you feel small; it's a matter of scale.
Also, that's why when people tell you you're good enough, it's not as effective as it could be. Why? Because it's coming from the outside, rather than the inside.
Self-confidence is an energy that is the natural byproduct of self-awareness and love.
When the approval and encouragement comes from YOU and not outside sources, that's when self-confidence is produced.
The same way a rose, when it is real and natural, produces a beautiful distinct rose fragrance, so is self-confidence like a fragrance: it's a byproduct of authenticity.
In order to start building, or moreover exhibiting or exuding, self-confidence, you need to start with increasing your self-awareness.
Know this: Stop comparing yourself to other people. They have nothing to do with your confidence level; it's an inside job.
Easier said than done, right? We've been looking to others for approval and based our whole identity as the "helper" or "outsider" or "underdog" on others and how they make us feel.
In fact, you may even be afraid of looking at yourself because you're afraid you won't like what you'll see.
Well, there's a hack for that! 🙂
Spirit has shown an effective technique to increase your self-awareness in a way that bypasses this fear, even for those of us who say "I hate myself" or "I hate the way I look / I am," even if people are trying to be encouraging.
The video goes in depth into this week's technique: date yourself. It's a lot of fun and full of laughter. Enjoy!
Watch this week's video for the Oracle Card of the Week, which explains the exact spiritual benefits to dating yourself!
In Love and Light,
Victoria.
VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield
Just for Today...
Choose to look to YOURSELF for love and approval by imagining that you could date yourself.
Take a moment and write out what would be your ideal first date with yourself: where you would go, what you would do, what you'd wear.
Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!
SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!