Having a hard time letting something go?
Still angry about what happened and can't forgive them, or yourself?
Know you "should" stop holding on to the past, but just don't know how?
It seems like every therapist, spiritual teacher, healer and guru tells us to "let go" so we can heal. But it seems like they just don't see how that is WAY easier said than done, right? JEEZ!
One way you can begin to let go and forgive is to understand why you're holding on, and what causes you to hold on in the first place.
Watch the above video to learn how to begin letting go to free yourself from the toxic energy of unforgiveness!
"Ugh. Really? Here we go again! Let's get back on and go for a ride on that old rollercoaster of emotions!"
Isn't it exhausting when the same old stuff just keeps coming up over and over?
You would think that you'd be fine by now, after all you've been through, right? You gave yourself space, said you were moving on, said you were done with the issue - you basically did everything that you were "supposed to" do.
And yet here it is again, the same old feeling is biting you in the butt and getting your emotions all riled up, reviving the whole sick cycle of feelings that you buried.
Perhaps you see that person that betrayed you years ago. Perhaps you watch a movie that triggers a memory. Or perhaps you happen to smell something that reminds you of how things used to be.
Then comes the anger, the sadness, the drama. They all fall on your head fresh like a ton of bricks. Wham!
You say to yourself: "They hurt me. How could this happen? This shouldn't have happened. Why does this always happen to me? It's not fair! It's wrong! It's wrong, damnit! I don't deserve this!" and so on...
Suddenly you find yourself angrily rejecting what happened or what "they" did all over again as if it's happening now, and it makes you feel clear, strong, and "in the right" - justifying how far you've come and what you've learned, how good of a person it made you, etc.
But at the same time, you feel grief and ache, having lost your innocence to that experience.
Pumping yourself up every so often like this always feels artificial as the underlying grief of having lost part of your innocence to what happened continues to weigh on your spirit... Sound familiar?
This is the cycle of unforgiveness.
And it's maddening.
Time is just an emotion; it's made up. And the feeling of unforgiveness is actually proof that time doesn't exist, because it can cause "old" experiences to be brand new in the moment because they are so full of emotion.
In fact, your brain knows that time doesn't exist, and so once you start reliving the emotions of the "past" your brain can and will send signals to your body to trigger your fight or flight response - your heart rate increases, your palms and armpits sweat, your jaw tightens, your digestion stops and your stress hormones release more and more.
All this from thoughts you keep thinking, or get triggered to think of again.
Being re-triggered and reliving these issues like this creates a fertile breeding ground for disease in your body and dis-ease in your life, by the way.
Chronic pain and illness are often caused by habitual holding on or an addiction to unforgiveness. It is the body screaming against these toxic emotions being in your system.
You see, your body knows that those emotions and feelings are bad for you, so s/he will do whatever it takes to grab your attention to tell you that something mentally, emotionally or spiritually is seriously out of alignment - and you can gauge how out of alignment you are by how severe your body's disease is manifesting.
But how the heck do you kick an addiction to unforgiveness?
Well, the same way you would kick any addiction: start with WHY. It all starts with understanding WHY you would be addicted to unforgiveness in the first place.
Know this: Letting go starts with finding out why you're holding on in the first place. And it usually boils down to CONTROL. #forgiveness #freeyourmind
Here's the thing: no matter what happened that rubbed you the wrong way, it happened, and it made you feel powerless and not in control of your life and feelings in that moment.
Because of that, your identity - or "ego" - was compromised, and in the moment it (identity/ego) basically flipped the "freak out switch" to defend itself by getting angry, rebelling and infusing the situation with all kinds of inflammatory emotions.
These inflammatory emotions are meant to protect you, so you could survive the experience and continue living; they are part of your psyche's evolutionary, primal protective mechanism.
Think of the inflammatory emotions as inflating a big bubble suit around your body/essence to serve as a buffer that allows you to keep going, just like an airbag deploys in a car crash to save your life.
But what if you continued to live inside that mangled car after the car crash, holding on to the airbags for dear life?
Think of it. It's years later, and the wrecked car is overgrown with weeds and wildflowers, perhaps birds and squirrels have made their nests in the rubble, and people are driving past you on the highway in brand new cars totally oblivious to the fact that you're still living inside this car wreck just because the airbag deployed and made you feel safe ONCE.
That's what holding on looks like, and it's time to be willing to set yourself free from a self-imposed imprisonment.
Watch this week's video for the Oracle Card of the Week, which shows us how to let go and forgive for good!
In Love and Light,
Victoria.
VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield
Just for Today...
Take an inventory of past experiences that still trigger negative emotions for you by writing it down in your journal.
Then ask yourself and journal about these two questions: "1) How does feeling these emotions now make me feel justified, powerful or in control of what happened to me in the past? and 2) Can I just decide to feel powerful now without thinking about or basing my feeling upon what happened?"
Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!
SHARE THIS! You’d be surprised how many people you know right now are in desperate need of healing and could use this information to change their life. If you can read this, you know someone who needs this Love Letter!