Is helping others hurting you?
Worried that if you say "no" to others' requests that people won't like you?
Struggling to keep up with your overcommitted schedule, because you "have to" do it all?
As natural givers, we love to help others and jump at opportunities to serve.
But what happens when we actually don't know how to say "no" with ease and grace?
Watch this weeks 8-minute love letter video to start standing in the truth that you don't know anybody anything.
"I have to do this."
This week's source wants you to know you don't owe anybody anything.
You do not owe any one any thing. You are free.
"Why would this be coming up, Victoria? What? Guides, what are you trying to say?"
In the energy I'm hearing to tell you that this week, in particular, you are going to feel pulled or obligated to reciprocate, to agree, and to commit to someone or something out of a sense of an impulse, or like a, "I have to. I have to."
All right. Maybe you've been going through this recently, where you've been pulled by your have-tos, pulled by your obligations. Pulled apart, not just pulled towards. Right?
Compulsion, and trying to keep up with everything, but you're being pulled apart at the seams where you're over-committed. Right? Or overbooked, or overwhelmed, overextended, et cetera.
What's underneath all of that, the Guides want you to know, is that you don't owe any one anything, but for now, you believe that you do.
So if someone has paid you a compliment or supported your business, or loved you in the past, or asked you a question, there's this compulsion within you, and I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you directly. Just you, to say, "Yes," or "Oh, I want to support you," or "Oh, I'm here for you no matter what. No matter how crazy they get. No matter how difficult things are."
No matter what's going on with you, right? There's the sense of I have to help other people. Right?
Because that's my purpose. That's all that I am is helping other people, but guess what? If all that you are is helping other people respectfully, who are you without other people?
Know this: If all you are is helping other people, then who are you without other people's problems? #bk2ys @SenseiWhitfield
That's a big question and I'm asking that with big love for you. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with you, but there's a pattern of give, give, give, giving, and what happened to receiving? What happened to it? Is it uncomfortable, right, for you to receive?
Do you feel like you owe it to them? If the guy says, "Oh, you look really good today." Do you have to pay attention to him as he tells you the rest of his life story? If he offers you a drink, do you have to drink it?
Even if it's not in like that kind of dating situation. If you're at the party, right, maybe it's someone's birthday or a holiday, or something is going on right now as you're watching. Do you have to drink that alcohol? Do you owe it to them? To look like you're having a good time, right, but drinking.
Underneath, especially, our addictive parts of our personality, there's a sense of, "I owe it. I owe it to them."
Now this is not all addictive personality, but quite a few. If this has to do with some sort of a social situation, there is a sense of, "I have to fit in. I have to. I have to. I must," and that, is not the case. You always, always, always have a choice.
The phrase that you say to release yourself from this is, "Thank you and I choose not to."
Like if someone asks, "Hey, can you come move the furniture, and my kids, and my foot, and my house?" "Thank you. Thanks for thinking of me. I choose not to," or "Thank you. No. No, I can't." It stops there.
Don't give excuses. You don't owe anybody any excuse. You don't owe anybody any explanations. No is sufficient, because it's a choice.
There's a difference between, okay, reciprocity, and being tied energetically and karmically into transactional relationships. There's a difference between that and choosing when and where you desire to participate.
You desire to contribute consciously, and this is where I'm hearing the oracle cards coming through in the energy.
This week is Archangel Michael Oracle Cards Deck. Brand new, are now 19 decks and counting, here at the dojo.
If you ever want to donate, send it on over. You can send me an email at senseivictoriawhitfield@gmail.com to find out exactly how you can donate your decks or just bring them in the next time you come and visit.
Okay, so Archangel Michael, what do we need to know right now?
I'm already hearing things in the energy. He's very, very, very vocal. Archangel Michael, what do we need to know right now about not owing anybody? What do we need to know?
You are on the right path.
You're on the right path, and each card in this deck comes with a prayer, so it says, and let's all close our eyes for a moment.
"Archangel Michael, I call upon you now. Thank you for giving me loud and clear guidance that I easily understand. Thank you for motivating me and filling me with the courage and confidence to make healthful life changes."
This is where we'll leave off.
It takes courage and confidence to be conscious. You can decide to participate or not. You're free to come and go as you please. Know that you're on the right path, and know you're alignment.
Know your healing journey, so that when someone comes in and invites you to participate in their stream, right, in their journey, you can tell the difference between yours and theirs.
If you need help seeing the difference, send me an email back, or a comment below. I'm happy to help you to get more clarity on that, or if we need to go for a deeper dive in a private session.
Know that you're on your right path. Find your inner alignment, and remember, you don't owe anybody any thing, so I'm sending you so much love.
Make sure you subscribe on YouTube so that you get these Love Letters every week first, and ready, muah! See you next week.
In Love and Light,
Victoria.
VictoriaWhitfield.com
Facebook.com/SenseiVictoriaWhitfield
Just for Today...
Remember that you don't have to explain yourself — "no" is sufficient.
The next time you decide to decline, try leaving the excuses, apologies and explanations out.
Notice how you feel at that moment - you're already healing!
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