It’s week three of four of our exploration of conscious loneliness; we are allowing and opening up to that as conscious entrepreneurs so that we can attract joyful, conscious relationships.
If this is the first blog or video in the series that you are seeing, make sure you stop, and go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com so that you can start from part one and be grounded in this process.
Without further ado, for week three of four, we are going to be talking about platonic loneliness. Last week, if you remember, we talked about romantic loneliness and feeling an emptiness and feeling in to our heartbreak around romantic relationships in the past that haven't gone well, and we find ourselves holding on to our heartbreak. For those of you who did tune in, we reframed the heartbreak that we had as something very different. If you didn’t see it, make sure that you catch that last episode.
But for this week in particular, what we are focusing on is platonic loneliness. If you are experiencing platonic loneliness, what that will look like is a lack of friendships: a lack of friendships for us as conscious entrepreneurs. As we continue to grow ourselves and grow our businesses, it becomes harder and harder to connect – depending on how you see the situation – it appears to become harder and harder to find and connect with others who are on that similar path of conscious living, not just personally, but also professionally.
On top of that, when it comes to platonic relationships, we will have a hard time receiving friends as opposed to lovers or sexual partners, or as opposed to clients and business partners. We'll have an abundance of clients, or an abundance of understanding around how to be with our colleagues, to acquire more clients, business partners, joint venture partners, investors. We know how to operate socially within those professional situations. We may even have some professional success and enjoy that sincerely. Or we may have an abundance of success in attracting intimate partners, romantic relationships or sexual partners, people that we are coupling with. We may be very good and very fulfilled co-creating intimate relationship with others in a romantic way.
But for some of us as conscious entrepreneurs, we get hung up on this thing of finding friends in adult life. We grow our career, love our families, but look up and wonder, “where in the world did all my friends go once we've entered our adult lives?” Friends. Like, Real Friends – who we are able to connect with, who we can love and love deeply and have incredibly intimate relationships with - not sexually, and not romantically intimate but emotionally intimate relationships with. Conscious, present, loving people who are simply our Friends.
Be kind to yourself. If this has been your situation, if this is something that you are struggling with, if that's you, I'm sending you so much love. We're sending lots of love and consciousness your way so that we can begin to manifest more friends. With that being said, the first thing that drops in from my spirit guides for you if you want to receive more friends, is to remember the law of attraction, but also remember the law of distraction.
The law of attraction states “that which is like unto itself is attracted.” The way that we would apply the law of attraction when we're attracting more platonic relationships, platonic friendships and even more fulfilling and deeply intimate, soul-filling platonic relationships into our lives as conscious entrepreneurs, begins with being a really profound friend first and foremost.
Now, having the ability to open up and begin relationships with others that do not involve any sexual contact and do not involve any professional transactions can be a tall order for some. It's funny how after we get into “the real world” (as they tell all the college students to call being a member the workforce), where this focus on having space for friendship and just being loving humans together with people who we're not related to and not having sex with and not interested in romantically, our natural ability to make friends tends to die down because we're so focused on productivity – and this is where the law of distraction comes in.
The closer you get to the things that your soul is aligned to, the more distraction is going to waive its ugly head. Distraction also attracts more of itself. Here's how that plays out. As a conscious entrepreneur, perhaps your business has become a distraction. At first it was an attraction and an exciting opportunity for you to attract money, attract clients, attract significance and recognition; it helped you attract more ways to contribute.-
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Know this: The closer you get to the things that your soul is aligned to, the more distraction is going to waive its ugly head. #empath #entrepreneur #depression @SenseiWhitfield
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But then it may have turned into a grand distraction where you're unable to create space for friendship. You're losing yourself to productivity. You're losing that concept of being “just me.” Ok, so let me put this on me – when I can just be myself is the times when I'm just being Victoria. Just Victoria, not Sensei Victoria, not boss Victoria, not teacher Victoria. not sexy Victoria or girlfriend Victoria or lover Victoria, but instead just me. And here’s the kicker: Just Me = Friend Victoria.
It's so funny that as we give of ourselves in a purpose-driven business, as someone who is a heart-centered entrepreneur, we give of ourselves so much to our businesses, that have to remember that we can't sacrifice the space in our hearts around creating friendship. This week in particular – and I'm hearing the oracle cards beginning to call in the energy – it's time to create space for friendship. How you do that is by not working, and not being with your romantic partner. There's a You outside of those two things. I would throw in there not being a parent, child or sibling, too.
Who are you when you are Not full of the responsibilities that you've piled on your plate, and are you still connected to that version of yourself? If not, this is the week in particular where you allow for that space. If it's creating art, if it's exercise – but exercise for the pleasure of it, the enjoyment of it, not for the work of it, say, if you're a personal trainer. Be kind to yourself. It's time to get back to the you that's underneath all of your responsibilities. Because, when you allow for that, when you empty yourself and come to that version of yourself, that's when you're capable of attracting platonic friends.
I'm hearing the oracle cards calling out; the deck that we're journeying with all month is the Romance Angels Oracle Cards deck by Doreen Virtue, if you want to go pick that up for yourself. So, Romance Angels, what do we need to know right now about attracting more friendship? Not romantic relationships and not professional relationships. ...Oh yes, this is gorgeous:
Soul Mate. Yes, this is your soulmate. Here's where we're going to leave off for this week. This is so powerful.
The more that you can connect to your own inner essence, the more you can recognize other people who can do that for you as well. It's the real friends of ours who, regardless of who we're with romantically and regardless of what we're doing professionally, are just so happy to be together with us as we are. Maybe as you're watching this video you’re remembering a friend of yours who you know and love dearly, or maybe you’re thinking of someone who has fallen out with their friend – if so, hit the share button and send this blog to them.
Or maybe you are someone who doesn’t believe can’t yet conceive that this level of intimacy and connection is possible outside of a romantic relationship: to have people who are platonic friends, meaning non-romantic, nonsexual-relationship-based friends but who are your soulmate. I come from a certain area in New Jersey where we call that being a “ride or die” where they are down for you. Meaning, they are a wholly and completely committed to you as you are for who you are. It’s a beautiful thing.
And this comes first from connecting to that within yourself, loving and approving of your own soul, your own essence. Then, being around people who can recognize that essence in you too – once you have, yourself – and showing up for these beautiful, soulful people, deeply. By the way, my guides are adding that there may be people who are like that already around you, but because of law of distraction, you've been so distracted by the business or distracted by your romantic relationship that's going on right now, that these people who absolutely love you no matter what, may have been taken for granted or pushed to the side by you.
If that’s the case, make time this week to show them love and celebrate them. Spend quality time, acknowledge them and recognize them as the soul mates in your life.
What comes up for you hearing all this? Comment below, or send me an email back team@victoriawhitfield.com around what comes up for you in creating more platonic relationships, filling that platonic loneliness that you may be feeling.
I'm sending you so much love. Make sure you subscribe on YouTube so that you get these love letters first every week.
I'll see you in the next one. And please: Enjoy the journey! --
Just for today...
Make time for being “Just Me” again – no work, no family, no lovers, no agenda, no helping, no requirements or “shoulds” – nothing to do other than just being me.
Reconnect with that part of yourself, and when you do, remember the people who have loved you and been your friend in your life when you were being Just Me; friends who loved you just as you are.
Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!
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Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.
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