Archive: Year: 2019

This is week four of four of our exploration of stopping faking it. You do not have to fake it to make it anymore.

We've been diving deep into that concept. However, if this is the first one in the series that you are seeing, make sure you hit pause, and go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com, click on part one and start there so that you're grounded in this clearing process. Without further ado, this week in particular, we are talking about allowing diversity.

Now, when we're talking about stopping faking it until you make it, there's an undercurrent of emotion flowing underneath it, where we are trying to make everything perfect. There's a palpable undercurrent, and that undercurrent is fueled by a lack of acceptance for diversity, of things being different. There's a lack of acceptance for imperfection, for things going a different way than expected, for multiple viewpoints and new and different, or old and different, points of view. Be kind to yourself if you're driven to perfection because you're driven to uniformity, or to make sure everything is balanced and set ...or else.

With love, that's a traumatized mindset, where everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be fine. We have to look fine. All of our Facebook Livestreams have to be perfect and look fine. All of the marketing materials in the business have to be perfect and look fine in order for anything to happen, or else. It’s insidious. It’s infectious.

Your speech has to be absolutely perfect in order for it to be effective. Your weight has to be absolutely perfect in order for you to be loved or to be seen. Your hair has to be absolutely perfect - according to some external force that says this is what perfect hair is - in order for you to be taken seriously. Only just for today, as we say in reiki, no more, just for today. No more of that traumatized mindset.

What helps us to stop faking it is allowing for diversity. When someone comes early or comes a little bit later, allow for the diversity and say, "How can we acknowledge this situation?" and then weave it in. Integrate it in. If your partner is seeing a completely different point of view, how can we allow our partner to have a different point of view, and still have a two-way conversation as two brilliant beings? Do we have to win, win, win every single argument - or every single discussion, even if we're not arguing? Do we have to win, win, win in order to feel heard or to feel safe, or to feel served?

Allowing feels different than winning. As I’m recording the video for this blog, there’s powerful lightning going on in the background. I'm leaving that lightning in, by the way, because it was gorgeous, and it's just another example of allowing diversity. We're not faking it. I'm not faking it in here. I'm listening to what my spirit guide are telling me and relaying it to you, aka, channeling. The same way that the rain gutters are doing their best that they can here in the dojo to channel the water away from the roof, away from the house. That way, it's protecting as well as continuing this beautiful cycle of flow and nourishment.

Be kind to yourself if you've been feeling blocked and stuck or undernourished in your body, your mind, your heart, your business or your spirit lately. Be kind to yourself if you've been feeling that blocked or stuck feeling. It's because we're not allowing for diversity. This also involves accepting others as they are. This comes up a lot with love and relationship issues in my private sessions with clients who are, as we discussed in our previous weeks, people who orient to clarity. My clients are very conscious, awakening, evolving souls. You come home, and your family is like, "We're just trying to relax and chill," while you’re gushing about your aha-moments and breakthroughs and how things need to change. ::take a deep breath in... exhale...:: Here's the thing. Allow for the diversity. Allow for the diversity.

It doesn't mean you approve or condone bad behavior, or people overstepping your boundaries, per se. Be kind to yourself in that respect, and at the same time, allow people who are orienting to comfort to just be as they are. The big, big, big source of suffering in our tribe of conscious, driven, high-vibrational individuals is not allowing people who genuinely just want to be comfortable to just be where they are at. Just let them be.

Because coaching is addictive, we tend to come in guns blazing: “I'm going to coach you! RAWRRR! I'm going to coach you! I'm going to transform your life!” Lol... umm. That's cool. You don't have to transform everyone all the time, ok? If someone doesn't want it, they don't want it. Let them go. If someone doesn't get it, they don't get it, ok? Relax.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week:

Know this: Be kind to yourself if you've been feeling that blocked or stuck feeling. It can be there because we're not allowing for diversity. This also involves our level of ability to accept others as they are... or not. #positivevibes #mindset #womeninbusiness @SenseiWhitfield

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Molding your children is a give and take. This is something that, especially when you're trying to be the best guardian for your children that you've manifested in this lifetime, it’s a give and take: on one hand, you can't just let them roam free. We're guarding them and making sure that they know that they're safe because someone's watching them. And at the same time, if they see the world differently than you do, allow the diversity. As a parent, be kind to yourself and allow their diversity, their point of view, within your sacred container of safety for them.

Here’s the mindset of assertiveness and allowing that my guides are offering to parents. Within these four walls, when I pay the bills for this, when I cook the food for you, and I wash your clothes, you honor this sacred container I created for you. I take care of you, I birthed you, I love you, and you're fully yourself, within these certain sacred parameters. You still have a mind of your own, and at the same time, you get to honor the fact that you're being taken care of, protected and guided with deep unconditional love. Allowing diversity is a special case with kids. I understand that. I honor that and respect that.

However in your career, alternatively, when you have teen members who see things differently from you, don't throw them to the side too fast. Allow them to have your back, ok? Imagine I'm standing back-to-back with another person. If I face this way, I can't see what they're seeing. Does that that if they look the other way that they're wrong for what they're seeing? No. Not necessarily; we are just standing back to back, looking at different sides of the same thing, with different eyes.

In fact, they actually have my back. That's the greatest gift of having a diverse team with diverse points of view. Allow it, so that they can have your back and watch out for things that may be in your blind spot. Allowing diversity doesn't have to be perfect. It does, however, need to be conscious. This is where we've got to turn up the volume on our communication arm, leaning into uncomfortable yet productive and loving conversations.

Loving to yourself, being loving to the person you're having the conversation with, and being loving to the entire tribe that the two of you are a part of or supporting or building. Lean into those loving conversations because they allow diversity and diversity is power. The fairies are calling in the energy, by the way - Healing with the Fairies: Oracle Cards deck is who we've been journeying with all month for this series around stopping faking it. You literally can just stop. Just let it go, if only just for today, as we say in reiki. Only just for today, let go of faking it.

Fairies, what do we need to know right now about allowing diversity? ...This is a good thing to add. I'm grateful for it. Creative Expression. And here's where we're going to leave off for today, and for this series. When we're stopping faking it until we make it, when we're stopping pretending and starting to allow different points of view, allow imperfection, allow being natural or being ourselves, there emerges a beauty in diversity. There's an incredible beauty in diversity, and it is creative expression. You get to see how marvelous and awesome it is to have so many different points of view and have so many different experiences. Variety is the spice of life, right?

This tree behind me, for example, and all the other ones with it too, are gorgeous because it's unique expression. It's natural. It's not perfect. It is perfectly imperfect, and it is a part of creation. Right? Well, guess what? That's a tree. If a tree is allowed to be unique and expressive and imperfect and still be gorgeous and healing and beautiful and precious, so are you. I mean it sounds like a bit much, but as we're stopping faking it, can we at least give ourselves the same permission that we give to freaking trees to just be natural and to be magnificent at the same time?

What's coming up for you around this? What are you creating now that we're walking this path together as journey partners to releasing faking it, and stepping into an authentic life and business? I'm curious. Go ahead. Comment below or send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield. Tell me your story.

Perhaps you need help tapping into your creative expression - that flow for you, maybe it's blocked right now. If you just can't see your own perfectly imperfect natural beauty and magnificence, please go to naturalintuition.com. Hop on my calendar by clicking that Contact button, and let's talk about working together so I can support you as your journey partner, okay?

I'm sending you so much love. Do not lose that glow as you're growing in life, in business. Enjoy the journey. I'll see you in the next Love Letter video. Bye for now. --

Just for today...

See the beauty and power in diversity: differing backgrounds, ages, points of view and ideas.

When things don’t go as expected, remember to say to yourself “variety is the spice of life,” and allow the unexpected to create something new, different and magnificent.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...