This is week two of four in our exploration of money as spiritual, money as good, being open to, loving and healing our relationship to money.
Be kind to yourself, if this is your first video please hit stop, go back on my blog at VictoriaWhitfield.com so that you start from the very first part of our series so that you're grounded in this process.
Without further ado, this week in particular my guides are saying that we've got to talk about sales shame and scars. Sales shame, and scars. Now, this comes up all the time with my clients. Doesn't matter if it's someone who I've met while on the road or networking or for the first time or if it's one of my clients who's been with me for the last, gosh, six, seven years straight. We all, myself included, have a sense of sales shame and sales scars.
Now I remember hearing at a speech by Myron Golden where he said that by the time a child turns 18 years old, in the media the child has seen over 10,000 business owners killed on TV, online, and in the news. His point was that in that figure right there we see a systemic epidemic of putting down salespeople, of demonizing business owners, entrepreneurs, and people who are out there making money. There's a strategic demonization of that.
Our minds and our hearts become scarred seeing all of this. That figure really shocked me, but it makes sense because how many times do we – wait, I'll put it on me. I personally have been to so many sales presentations. I've walked in hoping someone would sell me what they're selling, legitimately excited to buy, and I've also walked in having made a commitment to myself, “I swear to God, if this person tries to sell me, I'm walking out.” Sound familiar?
I even have equated bad sales with unwanted touching, like being physically attacked. In my opinion, it is a mental rape when done horribly wrong. By the way, comment below, send me an email back at Team@VictoriaWhitfield.com if that's you, where you're finding yourself bracing when somebody's trying to sell you, as if you're about to get attacked mentally, emotionally, financially, and even spiritually by someone. Here's the thing, we have scars. We have scars because some people in the past, for all intents and purposes, used this powerful tool to, unfortunately, cut into our energy.
These are soul scars that we carry along the way and it's doubly bad for those of us who are entrepreneurs and business owners because part of the way that ... actually the only way that we're able to share our gifts at the level that we've been called to by God, by Source, is to sell - which means to serve. We've got to make the offer to invite people to work with us. If you sincerely are doing something that's going to help somebody, it's your divine duty to invite them to work with you. You shouldn't be ashamed of it.
But here we go with carrying our soul scars around sales. The feeling of having been - and I'm going to go there, and I'm going to repeat it just as I said without limiting myself - mentally and emotionally and even spiritually, financially raped. Mentally “raped” or attacked or scarred by someone whose done sales on us; this unwanted touching, mentally and energetically. Be kind to yourself if that has been your experience before, and you got totally taken advantage of. If that happened to you, from my heart to yours, I am so sorry. It's terrifying. You work so hard for your money, and then someone turns on your emotions and then leads you down a path that is unfortunately destructive to you.
It's heartbreaking when that happens, and because of our soul scars around sales, then we carry the shame, the shame, the shame – which hides the secret rage. This is especially prevalent in the holistic healing community, amongst life coaches, business coaches, marketing coaches, amongst reiki masters, massage therapists, naturopathic doctors, osteopaths. I'm just going through all the different clients that I've had in my head who’ve had this sales shame: my goodness, bookkeepers, everyone who's loving and kind and really sincerely wanting to help people.
There's this haunting shame that comes for all of us when it’s time to share our gifts... Where you start thinking, “what if they're going to tell me they can't afford it? What do I do? I don't want to make people spend money, I feel bad.” Or, “who's going to pay for that? Maybe I shouldn't be charging so much. I should really even be doing this for free. Who gets paid to listen to their intuition and who gets paid to listen to people?” By the way - you're looking at and reading a blog someone who does, and I get paid well because I do tremendous work. I give massive, massive value, and I am grateful that my life’s purpose fully supports me.
Gosh, it is such a gift. And I pay good money for this spiritual and personal development stuff as well, for people to do energy work on me and to help me hear my intuition better and also to hear myself better. Absolutely. I pay five figures a year and I've paid out in total six figures now over the last few years to ensure that I am fully self-actualized. You absolutely should be charging for that, whatever you're healing gift is, but there's this haunting, persistent shame that we are carrying around charging. I'm hearing the word “why”, and the reason why we carry that shame is because we have the mistaken thought that we are protecting other people by not sharing our services with them.
Click to share the Tweet of the Week:
Know this: The reason why you're not selling is because you have a mistaken thought that you are protecting these people by not sharing your services, whatever that may be. #healing #entrepreneur #sales #abundance @SenseiWhitfield
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Maybe you don't have your own business yet, but you're working at a company or working for a nonprofit that you sincerely believe in, that you absolutely love, and you're rooting for. You see the good that they do in the world, and then you see someone who could really benefit from the service or from donating to this gorgeous, fabulous, charitable cause.
Then here comes the shame of: “but I can't tell them because they're going to have to spend money,” or “I can't ask for the donation, I should be ashamed of myself, asking for this person’s money.” No, you shouldn't! No, you shouldn't! Don't should on yourself, please, if you have something powerful and healing to share with the world, if you have more love that you can pour into this world by sharing your product or service, please, please DO.
If I'm the only person who gets to tell you this, please believe in yourself, please believe that sales is service. Don't let your shame or your mistaken thinking that you are protecting people from spending money keep you from shining bright. We're in a dark world and we need your light, but in order for some of us to turn on, we have got to learn how to invest in ourselves.
I know for me, my life changed when I started to invest in myself. Personally, I am completely unrecognizable - go ahead on my Facebook and ask some of my friends who first became my friends when Facebook first came out, "Do you recognize Victoria now? Is she like she was 15, 20, 25 years ago?" They're like, "Nope, she's completely different” and some may even add “but she's more of herself than she's ever been." It's because I learned how to invest in myself by being open to receiving sales.
Now, this also has to do with discernment, and the more you cultivate your emotional capital - meaning your ability to value how you feel, and accrue good feeling, generate good feeling - the more you will cultivate your discernment, so that you don't have to be afraid of people selling you, and you don't have to be afraid of sharing your service with people who are desperately seeking it.
The only reason why you're carrying around that sales shame is actually because you haven't cultivated enough of your emotional capital. Pour into your positive feeling emotions, pour into that on a daily basis, that's the first thing I do every single day, and I've been doing it for 11 years straight, is to pour positive feeling, good feeling, raise my vibration, get into the vortex, shift my state, change my mind, raise my standards, put my mindset at the same level of the Universe to make sure that I am seeing with clear eyes. I’ve cultivated my discernment, my emotional capital, ceaselessly.
I'm hearing the oracle cards screaming in the air, "Oh my God, Victoria, hurry up and pull us." Okay, lol! Let me just stuff them back in this box because I was just sifting through them... This is the Angels of Abundance oracle cards deck by Doreen Virtue and her son, Grant Virtue, if you want to pick it up yourself. Okay. Angels of Abundance, what do we need to know right now? About, gosh, our sales shame, our sales scars. - I love this: Bountiful Nature. This is where we're going to leave off for the week.
Bountiful Nature. Spending time in nature helps shift you to a higher vibration and reminds you of God’s infinite abundance. Go outside and enjoy a walk or hike with your pet, meditate beneath a tree, garden, sit under the stars, or do some other activity to connect with the limitless vastness.
This is so beautiful, this is a perfect ending point.
A lot of our fear and shame around selling, as well as being sold, is that there's not enough to go around. There's not enough even if you're selling something amazing or you're being sold on exactly what you need. That fear comes up that there's not enough to go around. Please let nature affirm you in that there is no limit to the amount of wealth, and abundance, and resource supporting you now, right now, in this moment.
Nature is a gorgeous example of interconnection and agreement, of constant inflow and outflow, inhale and exhale. Let that remind you of what true wealth and abundance looks like. Allow it to soothe your emotions so that you can raise your emotional vibration and increase your emotional capital.
All right, this is it, Bountiful Nature. Go outside, breath it in and receive. Okay. Send me an email back at Team@VictoriaWhitfield.com or comment below. Make sure you subscribe on YouTube so that you get these Love Letters first every week, and I'll see on the next one.
May you feel loved and safe at work, and please: Enjoy the journey!
Bye for now. --
Just for today...
Believe in yourself and believe that sales is service.
Take a deep breath in, and connect to your divine purpose, and then open your heart and mouth and share your healing work for the good of all involved.
Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!
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Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.