Archive: Year: 2020

Love Letters | VulnerAble Leadership – Part 5 of 5

Posted on by Sensei Victoria Whitfield

This is the fifth and final week of our exploration of vulnerability, cultivating our relationship with being vulnerable and improving our ability to engage and open up in a positive way, maybe for the first time.

Now if this is the first video that you're seeing in this series, make sure that you hit pause, go back on my blog at VictoriaWhitfield.com and start from part one, so that you are grounded in this process. Without further ado, this week in particular for the fifth and final week of our discussion on vulnerability, my spirit guides have asked us to discuss vulnerable leadership.

Last week, we talked about the power of opening up as an empath to being vulnerable, so that we can better relate to and interact with the people and things that we care about in this lifetime. We talked about respecting our energy as empaths, but also not letting our sensitivity dominate us in this lifetime – claiming that as a power, rather than a disability – or be something that you're constantly afraid of or overly protecting yourself from. This week, however, we're going even farther into vulnerability as a power and applying it to leadership.

A wonderful role model of vulnerable leadership and someone who's a thought leader in this area, two people actually, I would have to say one is Simon Sinek and the other is Brene Brown. If you have not checked out their work, I highly recommend it. They have amazing, inspiring, empowering things to share with you around vulnerable leadership and how healing it is especially in the professional world.

The most painful thing that I've seen is how insensitive leadership destroys powerful teams that have become like family and overcome the most incredible odds together. These things that come from the top-down in corporate – restructuring, or layoffs, or whatever hot word they use to explain being insensitive to the needs and the preciousness of the relationships of the people that are working under them – it's incredible how destructive they can be.

I grew up watching my mother re-enter the workforce after 17 years as a homemaker to work for a certain corporation as a technical writer, and then a web developer, and coder for over 20 years. I remember as a kid going to their picnics and things and seeing all of these people that she worked with like my extended family, and feeling part of something bigger; seeing them laughing, and supporting one another. ...Then I also lived through, as a young woman, watching them be torn apart, seeing the stress, and the pain of those wonderful relationships being just torn apart, torn apart by restructuring or “re-orgs” as the company would say. I'm not going to say what company because I want to respect privacy here.

Maybe you've seen this happen in your family – your work family – or your corporation as well, this being torn apart by insensitive leadership, putting numbers before people, or putting self-protection first, which is something that we hinted at last week. Let's go into it this time for our final discussion: the toxic effects of putting self-protection before serving their community around us.

We can get protection-obsessed especially in the professional world because for some reason we allow money and numbers to make us paranoid and prioritize dollars and quotas, and metrics above people, relationships, health and mutual human respect. Be kind to yourself if this is something that you've witnessed happening and that you don't want to be a part of any longer. If only just for today, commit to being open as a leader. Commit to developing your ability to be vulnerable along with the people who you are leading.

Simon Sinek gives us a wonderful example of how to measure how open-hearted you are as a leader. Leaders, he says, are people who watch out for the people to the right and to the left of them. That is it. It has nothing to do with titles, what's on your business card, or what your website says, or how big your office is, or how big your bank account is, or not. It's who are you being on a moment-to-moment basis. In order to look out for, to take care of, the people to the left and to the right of you, you've got to be open to what's going on with them, rather than just what's going on with “Me” and making sure that I'm getting x, y, z done, and so on.

It is a mental acrobatic that you do at first to decide, “I'm going to be concerned, and open, and curious, and communicative with the people that are to the left and to the right of me. The people that are supporting me, I am going to support them. I'm going to be open to how do they feel right now. I'm going to ask them, ‘how are you feeling? Are you all right?’ and loving and supporting them in that.”

Coming from a space of your own center of love and support and not forgetting that you as a leader have needs and have feelings is also important, which is something that we also discussed last week, opening to the fact that I have feelings, too, as an Empath. As someone who supports others, I have feelings. I have needs, and they have got to be honored and respected by me first and then also the people that I'm sharing this life experience with.

Be kind to yourself if in trying to be a vulnerable leader, meaning someone who is present to and caring for the people who are in your care, you've sacrificed your own self-care. That is negative vulnerable leadership because it leaves you open to health problems, relationship problems, spiritual and emotion oppression, depression. Be kind to yourself. That leaves you negatively vulnerable.

How can we then as leaders, moreover as Healing Leaders (that's my term) on this planet, how can we open up to leading from the heart, leading with courage, and positive vulnerability? I’m curious, what does that look like? Positive, vulnerable leadership, is healing leadership. I would venture that it starts with healing self, first, and staying open to being present to those that are in our care, who are supporting us, who are following us, and share the same beliefs and vision that we have. We're all working together in one direction. At the same time, there's the person out in front who holds the vision, being the Visionary. --

Click to share the Tweet of the Week:

Know this: Be kind to yourself if in trying to be a vulnerable leader, meaning someone who is present to and caring for the people who are in your care, you've sacrificed your own self-care.  #empath #entrepreneur #workaholic @SenseiWhitfield

-- Are you loving The Love Letters? If so, please support our healing work with a love donation: --

Are you healing? Are you present to yourself? Okay, if you are, you're doing your self-care, you're doing your spiritual nourishment, your physical nourishment and love. Good. And are you present to the people around you needing the same, just as much love, and approval, and support, and honor as you're showing yourself? Are they also learning how to do that for the people behind them as well?

Be a Healing Leader. It entails being open to being vulnerable, cultivating that ability to be vulnerable, but if only just for today, commit to being a healing leader by opening to being vulnerable in a positive and empowering way.

I'm hearing the Oracle cards like, "Hey, pick us!" It's Healing with the Angels oracle cards deck by Doreen Virtue, her very first oracle cards deck that she ever made in her career. Angels, what do we need to know right now about stepping into healing leadership by embodying being positive, vulnerable leaders? ...This is so good, like I could literally do an entire summit on this, “listening.” Listening! This is so perfect. I love that in the picture, she's listening to her angels, and her angels are listening to her. I'm going to read, I don't really have to, but before I read I just want to tell you what I'm hearing from my spirit guides around listening.

The most powerful leaders I've ever followed in my own life have been profound listeners, profound. Having the courage to listen to your people as a leader is essential. God, She gave us two ears and one mouth. We've got to listen twice as much as we give directions and directives. Anyway, let’s start listening. Let me read:

Listening. You are in communication with your angels and the messages that you are receiving are very real indeed. Trust them. This card is a validation from your angels that you really are hearing them. You have been receiving repetitive messages through your feelings, dreams, visions, inner voice, or knowingness. Are you listening and trusting these messages? Are you following them? If you get an inclination to call someone, go somewhere, or read something, it's important to follow this guidance. By drawing this card, your angels ask you to give all your doubts or worries about divine guidance to them. Know that you truly are communicating with heaven and enjoy the conversations.

This is so perfect. Here's where we'll leave off for this entire series: Cultivating your listening sense. Your active listening is also cultivating positive vulnerability. If you are not comfortable listening to others, or you feel impatient, it's just because you haven't cultivated listening as a skill. It's just a skill that you're a little bit deficient in. If you just dedicate time and mental space to it, it gets easier and more pleasurable with time.

If you need to work on your listening skills, I highly recommend my book Natural Intuition Now. I take you step by step exactly through how to listen with presence and also why it is so important. The more that we become intuitive, open, vulnerable, healing and empowered leaders, the better our world becomes, the better the legacy of love becomes that we leave behind us in all the work that we do and all the people, all the lives that we touch.

Send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfiled.com. What's coming up for you around this? Make sure you subscribe on YouTube, so that you get Love Letters first every single week. Tag someone who needs to hear this, and I will see you in the next one.

May you feel loved and safe to be your most brilliant self at work.

Please, enjoy the journey. Muah. See you soon. --

Just for today...

Challenge yourself to actively listen twice as much as you speak, when in conversations and meetings.

Listen to your body, your feelings, others’ bodies and feelings, and shine the light of your attention on the things left unsaid by all involved in the conversation (yourself included).

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...

Love Letters | Positive VulnerAbility – Part 3 of 5

Posted on by Sensei Victoria Whitfield

This is week three of five in our exploration of vulnerability. Vulnerability being having the ability to be vulnerable in a positive and healing way.

Now if this is the first time you're seeing anything about this series, make sure you stop, go back on my blog at victoriawhitfield.com, and start from part one so that you are grounded in your evolutionary process.

Without further ado, for week three of five, my guides have continued us on this journey through vulnerability, specifically looking now at the idea of positive vulnerability. Last week we talked about negative vulnerability and those spaces that gather in our hearts, exploring the negative space that open wounds that we have from past negative experiences. We tend to immediately associate with the word “negative” with “vulnerability”, right?

When we think of vulnerability we associate negative things with it. Webster's dictionary, we talked about that in week one, has that horrible definition of “being open to attack or wound”, rather than just being open and exposing one's self, whether in a good or a bad way.

So this week in particular though, we're advancing this concept of, alright, my vulnerable spaces have been in the past, you know, the first things that come to my mind are negative. But in fact, what about positive vulnerability? Have you ever had the experience of things going really well, but really, really well? Like “oh, my god, what's going to happen if things blow up? Oh no! I don't know what to expect next.” You know, when you start to freak out and say, “okay, he said yes. Oh, what do I do now? Oh no! This person cares about me.” Or “these people are excited to buy in to my program at the number that I told them the price was. What's happening?” Has this ever happened to you?

Have you ever had that positive vulnerable experience, and also clamped shut? Thinking, “oh no, no, no, no. This can't be real. There's something wrong going on here. No, no, no. This is not for me, this is probably for them”, right? Immediately avoiding and dodging and, oh my gosh, repelling all of the good that may be coming through. That’s a moment of positive vulnerability. People wanting to feature you, put you out on stage, share your story. And you wanting to run and hide like, “oh my god, no, no, I don't want to be seen, this is to scary, I'm not ready.” Freaking out when something really big and really good is about to happen.

Be kind to yourself if you've had that experience. That fear of success, or, here it comes, I'm going there:  that fear of arousal or even being in that orgasmic state, letting go. Having a positive, open loss of control. Or that even in just an emotional way, positive openly emotional loss of control. Being held by somebody when something awful has happened, just letting go and crying in their arms.

Recently a family member of mine passed away. And we were there for them through the whole natural death cycle at home. What an amazing honor. And I was challenged to be able, vulner-able enough, that when I went to visit my nephew, and when he wanted to hug me and hold me to console me because he loves me and wants to be supportive, being vulnerAble enough to see “oh, I have permission to let go and cry on his shoulder” rather than hold it all together to be strong aunt Victoria. So I did. And it was beautiful for both of us – haha, he cried too!

Such a healing, bonding, beautiful experience. And I'll put this on me, I've had so many times in my life where someone's telling me it's okay to cry. And I  said “no. I'm happy. I know it's okay to cry.” But I'm going to cry in the bathroom or in the car or late at night after everyone's asleep. I'm going to cry off-camera. Or not when I'm here supporting You. Or while I'm here performing, speaking, etc.

That positive vulnerability is a whopper. Can we be open to it when the opportunity comes? This week, in particular, my guides are saying there are opportunities on the table for you to open up and receive at another level, the level that you have been asking for. That level of emotional support. That level of financial breakthrough.

I'm thinking of one of my clients in particular: she had the financial breakthrough that she had prayed for years for right in front of her: five hundred thousand dollars. A potential investor was sitting right in front of her, ready to give five hundred thousand. She had done everything right, just as we talked about in our sessions, to attract abundance. But she freaked in the moment, thinking “oh it can't be for me, or oh my god I have to fix it, I got to find Someone Else for this person to donate to because it can’t be for me.” Out of fear and limiting beliefs, she clamped shut to and dodged the abundance – and gurl, I’ve done that so many times too. We all have! Being at peace with positive vulnerability is no joke.

Be kind to yourself if you're pushing away the good rather than being open to that next level breakthrough and moving through your upper limit. That is a positive vulnerable experience, and it is just as challenging and, dare I say, traumatic as a negative vulnerable experience.

Be kind to yourself. It's time to engage being open to it, maybe for the first time.

Click to share the Tweet of the Week: 

Know this: Be kind to yourself. It's time to engage being open to positive vulnerability, maybe for the first time. #empath #entrepreneur #healing @SenseiWhitfield

-- Are you loving The Love Letters? If so, please support our healing work with a love donation: --

Now I'm hearing the oracle cards calling in the energy. The deck that we've been journeying with all month is Healing With The Angels oracle cards deck by Doreen Virtue, her very first oracle cards deck that she ever created. Angels, what do we need to know right now about our fear of success, and our positive vulnerability around getting that next-level manifestation? It's happening, so help us. Angels, what do we need to know right now around allowing positive vulnerability?

Forgiveness. Here we go! My guides are immediately saying this has to do with forgiving yourself for pushing away the good or not trusting that you can handle the good or the breakthrough or the next level of success. My guides are immediately saying this is about self-forgiveness. But you know, let's see what Doreen channeled about it in the book. She has really great writings.

Forgiveness. Let go of anger and resentment, and feel yourself healed. You don't need to forgive the action, just the person, so that you can be at peace. By drawing this card, your angels guide you to release anger and irritation. They realize that you may be perfectly justified in feeling angry. Yet they ask you to look at the high price you pay for being the vessel of anger. Forgiveness does not mean what you did is okay to me. It simply means I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions. When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves after all. Your angels help you to release unforgiveness if you will just ask for their assistance.

This is beautiful. Beautiful. And this is where we're going to leave off for the week. We're talking about forgiveness for fearing our own positive vulnerability.

We're also engaging that trust that may have been broken before when we let ourselves down before in the past. Where things were going so well, and then, we missed the mark. It's okay to forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up for missing the boat and being human, before. This vulnerability thing is a skill that takes time to learn, and we are open, if only just for now, to engaging it.

So I'm curious, what do you have to forgive yourself for? Around not being receptive to something, but you wish you would have been, and you regret it. Go ahead, send me an email back at team@victoriawhitfield.com. Or comment below this blog wherever it's posted. We post everywhere!

Thanks to all of our subscribers on all social media and online platforms. Mwah. Big hugs and love. Make sure you, by the way, subscribe on YouTube so that you get these love letters first, every week. Because that is where they are posted first. Tag a friend who needs to hear this message, who's having that positive vulnerable experience, and needs to just be kind to themselves in opening to being more receptive.

My prayer, my wish for you is that you may feel loved and safe. Especially at work, because that is half your waking life!

May you enjoy the journey to your soul's expansion. Mwah.

I'll see you next week. Bye for now.

(Original post 04/15/2019)

Just for today...

Lean in to opportunities to open up and receive support, visibility, love and abundance that are outside your comfort zone.

Acknowledge the voices of disbelief in your head, and lean into engaging your positive vulnerable experience anyway.

Notice how you feel in that moment - you're already healing!

Click the pink button below to take your Abundance Energy Jumpstart Assessment with Victoria and jumpstart your healing journey, today! 

-- Hello there. I am Sensei Victoria Whitfield, your business reiki master. And it's my joy to get to support empathic entrepreneurs and business owners like you in getting and staying grounded and clear in mind, body and business. Welcome back to another installment of your weekly love letter from the dojo at naturalintuition.com and victoriawhitfield.com, my blog. These are your sources for channeled holistic stress management techniques and guidance for developing your natural intuition. Whether you're looking to improve the quality of your personal and professional life, let this love letter be your reminder that you are not alone and that together we can make that happen.

Let's schedule a chat, and see how I can help you...